ERTHMB Chapter 118

Sound of the Wind

“Even if everyone else doesn’t know, you’re the one who should know.”

The voice that now sounded cracked and torn belonged to Helena. Helena didn’t like that either, so she held her breath tightly. The expression that had been swirling disappeared like footprints swept away on a sandy beach.

This time, instead of just standing in confrontation, Helena pushed Eugene. Unlike before, he was pushed back a step. After creating space to escape, Helena looked at Eugene again.

“I am not your eyes or your voice.”

“……What are you talking about.”

“Just the passage of time alone won’t make me recover like before.”

“…….”

Helena took a step. As promised, Eugene didn’t block her way anymore. Helena immediately passed by Eugene and left the space.

[If you remember me, don’t do this.]

The busy downtown area was crowded with people. But to Helena’s eyes, they all looked like one person.

The figures of Eugene Evergale, who was asking to be remembered, lined up in a row and reached out their hands.

Eugene offering a bouquet with a bright smile, Eugene kissing her eyes to comfort her, Eugene whispering sweet confessions…

They were all nothing but crumbled memories that couldn’t even return to a handful of ashes. And Helena Evergale was the one living while embracing those ashes.

Helena, who was simple and simple again, who would run to him like a tail-wagging dog with just a little kindness. Helena, who gave everything he asked for and did everything he told her to do.

Helena, who would love him until death just for the fact that he had loved her plainly without any grand reason.

‘I lived on memories.’

No matter how miserable the present was, if there was even a trace of happy memories from the past, she would chew on them over and over, living as if they were the present. That’s how she endured.

Then it was bearable. Like Gelda, it was a hell she had chosen for herself, one she could handle.

But now, for that person’s sake too, she couldn’t do that anymore.

Helena quickly walked past the countless Eugenes reaching out their hands. Fortunately, as she took bold steps, the Eugenes disappeared one by one like smoke.

Returning to her room like that, Helena collapsed face-down on her desk. Unlike the leisurely ripened air, her heart was stirring.

Helena traced the beam of sunlight that had penetrated the center of her desk with her fingertips, then scratched it into the shape of someone’s face.

‘If I had remembered what happened between you and me… could I have lived a better life?’

She didn’t regret it now. It was just a hypothesis, like “if it rained apple juice from the sky” or “if the sea dried up overnight.”

After redrawing his face several times like counting sheep, she gradually became sleepy. Helena didn’t resist and let her eyelids fall.

She didn’t think she had fallen asleep, but when she opened her eyes again, she was on a dark field. Looking around, there were spiky holly trees drooping everywhere. No moon was visible in the sky.

It was a mercilessly dark night without a single point of light, but strangely, it wasn’t frightening.

When she lowered her neck that had been craned toward the sky, another person had appeared. It was a boy wearing rags. His face was dim as if covered by fog.

In contrast, the touching body temperature was extremely vivid, making Helena confused about whether this was a dream, reality, or memory.

At that moment, the boy moved.

“The day I reach the highest position, I’ll definitely come to get you. Then I’ll help you escape from here.”

The boy pulled her hand to him and pressed his lips to it. Though it was dry and rough, the warm warmth overwhelmed the texture.

While she was fidgeting with her fingertips for no reason, he raised his head. Helena involuntarily flinched. She felt her cheeks getting hot as well. Seeing her lips slightly parted, the boy continued.

“In my country, this means making a vow. I don’t lie. And once I promise something, I definitely keep it.”

Then her mouth automatically spilled out an answer.

“Then come quickly, I’ll wait. Even if I can’t remember you…”

Suddenly, a gust of wind cut between them. The shadow of the tree draped over the boy’s body swayed.

The moon was emerging from behind the clouds. She naturally realized it was really time to say goodbye. Helena gradually relaxed the strength in her hand.

And just before letting go of his hand, she said with a face that looked like she was about to cry.

“You have to find me.”

Flash.

A white curtain fell and Helena opened her eyes. Silver hair identical to the boy’s was in front of her eyes. Eyelashes with the same dense texture and color, tightly closed.

Ian was also asleep, collapsed on the desk with his outstretched arm as a pillow, just like Helena.

Helena was observing his defenseless face when she pursed her lips and gently blew air.

A few strands of silver hair that had fallen over Ian’s forehead swayed like reeds. As she did this, he also fluttered his eyelashes and opened his eyes.

Light purple eyes softened with a hint of sleepiness.

“Did you sleep well?”

It was a voice similar to the thin boy’s voice she had heard in her dream, but with a much lower and deeper resonance layered over it.

Helena also blinked a few times to shake off her drowsiness before opening her lips.

“What about you?”

“Me too. I slept well.”

Ian adjusted his posture and turned his body slightly. At that moment, an unpleasant cracking sound occurred. Helena’s eyebrows naturally raised.

“Do you usually realign your bones after sleeping well?”

“……This is just because my bones grew poorly.”

“…….”

Helena’s eyes beneath her curved eyebrows now narrowed like a wren’s. Ian complained softly.

“Just believe me and let it slide.”

“You’re the one who should speak honestly. I know you haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

Helena touched the faint shadows under Ian’s eyes with her index finger. He might have been suffering from nightmares every night, groaning like in the cave last time.

Having suffered so pitifully, still suffering now. Yet in front of her, he was smiling so carelessly.

Helena wanted to see his depths as much as he looked into hers. Someday, at least once.

She gently rubbed under Ian’s eyes and said.

“Not just this, but you always tell absurd lies and ask me to believe you—.”

However, her questioning that she had tried to pursue after a long time couldn’t be finished. Ian suddenly intertwined their fingers and pulled her hand away. He turned the captured hand over and pressed his lips to Helena’s back of hand.

“……What are you doing all of a sudden.”

“Where I lived, we kiss the back of the hand as a gesture of making a vow. It’s the most noble kiss.”

“Is asking me to believe you worth going this far?”

Ian spread their intertwined fingers, gently rubbing them back and forth before letting go.

“I was just trying to charm you a bit.”

“Trying to brush it off again.”

Helena grumbled. Ian picked up the hair caught in Helena’s eyelashes and tucked it behind her ear.

“And I really slept well. You appeared in my dream.”

“How did I appear?”

“You were small and cute.”

“……What did I say?”

“You said you liked me.”

“—Liar.”

Ian smiled slightly. He moved his hand that was still lingering by Helena’s ear and tapped her cheek lightly.

“Look at my face. Does it really look like that?”

“Yes. You look like the world’s greatest con artist.”

Though she said that, Helena thought to herself.

‘Did we have the same dream?’

She was curious, and maybe it really could have been possible, but Helena didn’t ask. Instead of hearing it from his mouth, she wanted to recall it herself. She wanted to answer that he was right, that she had liked him first.

She wanted to do that without waiting too long.

****

Helena visited Flam’s blacksmith shop after a long time. Despite her absence, Flam welcomed her as if he had seen her just a few hours ago.

Helena crouched and sat in front of the fireplace like a cat seeking a warm spot by the fire. It was one of the few happinesses Helena could count.

With the sound of Flam’s metalwork as background, just staring at the flames flickering like a veil was comforting in many ways.

Helena handed Flam the wine bottle she had brought as a gift. Flam took the bottle, filled an empty glass in her hands, then bit the cork with his teeth and pulled it out.

He first poured wine into the glass, then Flam also sat down heavily beside Helena. Using the crackling sparks as appetizers, they silently toasted.

After letting the sound of the glass clinking pass, Flam lifted the bottle to his mouth entirely. After his Adam’s apple bobbed a couple of times, the wine shadow reflected in the bottle had dropped to half.

Helena also sipped her glass a couple of times before starting to speak.

“Mister.”

“What.”

“Have you ever felt that way?”

“What way.”

“Just, the feeling of missing something you can’t remember.”

“Well, I don’t even know what that is. What kind of feeling would it be if you felt that way?”

Flam tilted the bottle again immediately after dropping the question mark. The sloshing sound was clear. Helena pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them.

“I always know that something is there. Since it keeps coming to mind, it must be something incredibly precious. But I only endlessly miss it, I can’t remember it exactly.”

The flames in the fireplace licked like tongues. Helena held her glass in front of it, spinning it around as she continued speaking.

“It’s something I shouldn’t forget, it must have been such a brilliant memory. It’s so hollow, as if there’s a gaping hole in my head. It feels like living while clinging to just that sound of wind.”

Flam suddenly stretched his arm to the side. At his gesture prompting another toast, Helena gladly clinked glasses with him. The clear ringing sound echoed again. Flam grinned foolishly at that.

“Such a pretty sound.”

“I didn’t know you had this taste.”

“All sounds of metal meeting are pretty. Besides, it’s not every evening that you get someone to clink glasses with in such a quiet evening.”

Flam tilted his head back again and raised the bottle. The shadow behind the label had already dropped below half. He wiped his moistened lips and spoke with breath that smelled of grapes.

“Whether it’s the sound of wind or whatever, if you’ve caught onto something, try listening to that sound continuously. Even if it seems like it’s not saying anything, if you keep listening, you’ll hear it.”

Then Flam pointed to the weapons decorating the wall with the bottle’s mouth.

“Even the sound of hammering metal, to others it might all sound the same—clang clang—but I know what they’re saying. Of course, you’d have to pick up a hammer first. And you’re a kid with that much courage.”

Flam playfully nudged Helena with his elbow. It was probably just a light touch on his part, but Helena lost her balance and toppled over sideways.

Flam made a “huh” sound through his nose. Helena was equally dumbfounded.

Flam stared at the collapsed paper doll with a blank expression for a moment, then hurriedly helped her up. Fortunately, the glasses were all empty, so there was no disaster of liquid spilling. Flam clicked his tongue.

“What the hell is this. You have courage but no spirit.”

“It’s because I just drank alcohol.”

Helena poked Flam’s side in the same way, then got up from her seat. Unlike her body that had lost strength from the alcohol, her mind had become much clearer.

Perhaps Flam should consider changing the identity of his blacksmith shop to a counseling center. Being a man who turned molten metal as soft as beeswax into steel, he had a way of refining even aimlessly muddled thoughts into something solid.