IDIBC Chapter 6

The Fennel Family’s Circumstances

“Sabrina, pull your skirt down.”

“Huh?”

“Your skirt, pull it down.”

“Oh, yes…”

“What’s that person’s name?”

“Who? The teacher?”

“Yes.”

“…Laura Wilson.”

Even as she answered reflexively, Sabrina couldn’t bring herself to pull down her skirt and kept clutching it tightly in her hands.

“Miss Laura Wilson.”

At my call, Laura’s face crumpled miserably. No matter that I was a bastard child, I had been given the Fennel name. So there was absolutely nothing wrong with my etiquette.

“Speak… your mind.”

“Surely the Wilson family is a noble baronial house with a long history.”

“That’s correct.”

“I am so devastated that I dare not even mention this matter aloud. No matter how important education may be, there is clearly an established order in this country.”

Count Fennel rarely stays at home.

“The division of the five ranks of nobility is clearly established by law, yet how dare the child of a baronial family lay hands on the body of a count’s child?”

“That, that was an unavoidable necessity for education.”

“Education? Are you saying that learning a few arithmetic problems is more important than the solemn laws of the duchy?”

Countess Fennel stays only in her room.

“If this fact were to become known in noble society, I believe the person who committed this act knows better than anyone that it won’t end with mere women’s gossip.”

Young Count Justin shows no interest in his siblings’ welfare.

“Isn’t that so?”

In this mansion with owners who don’t care for it, there would be no reason why I couldn’t control a mere 10-year-old girl as I pleased.

The teacher never agreed with my words to the end, but unable to provide any answer to reasonable arguments, she stormed out of the room.

After Laura left, Sabrina collapsed onto the floor.

“Whew… That was really scary. I’m afraid of Laura, but are you okay?”

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t scared at all, but it wasn’t enough to be severely frightened.

“Why didn’t you tell your mother about this?”

“My mother…?”

When no more words came, I glanced at Sabrina and saw her hands trembling. Reflexively, I approached and wrapped her hands in mine, and her tear-filled eyes turned toward me.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I can’t tell Mother.”

“So why…?”

“If I did, if I did, Mother would… Mother would, like, like last time…”

Last time? Suddenly I remembered when the Countess had attempted suicide two years ago. The story had spread even to the westernmost wing of the mansion, and the atmosphere of the entire estate had been subdued for days. Fortunately, her life was saved, but it became even more difficult to see Lady Fennel afterward.

Even though I knew I wasn’t qualified to comfort anyone, I hugged Sabrina tightly.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not my fault?”

“That’s right.”

“If I had studied well then, no, if, if my hair color had been silver instead of blonde, Mother wouldn’t have done that.”

“Who told you that? Don’t listen to a single word that person says from now on, and only believe what I tell you. You know how smart I am, right? You called me a genius.”

“Y, yes.”

Sabrina’s back, which I touched with my hand, felt surprisingly small.

Sabrina, who I thought enjoyed tripping passersby and grabbing hair to throw people to the ground as hobbies, quietly entrusted her body to me and nodded obediently.

To think the day would come when this child, who was a span taller than me and always a source of terror, would seem so pitiful.

“So don’t think like that. Nothing is your fault.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Neither your lack of silver hair nor my being born from the body of a woman who didn’t marry Count Fennel – none of it is our fault.

If we really had to blame someone… it would be Count Fennel’s fault.

I went straight back to my room and began writing a letter.

If Countess Fennel had even shown me a look of dislike, I would have gathered courage to seek her out. But her eyes when looking at me were always empty. Like the gaze one gives to a stone rolling on the ground?

Sigh, a breath escaped me involuntarily.

“This isn’t why I learned to write.”

Having written the letter with care until sunset, I headed to the Countess’s room. I didn’t have the courage to meet her, so I planned to slip the letter through the door crack.

The third floor, which I was visiting for the first time, emanated a chill from the end of the corridor. The windows were spotlessly clean without a speck of dust, and the world visible through them was warm, but this corridor alone seemed disconnected from the world, with a deathly silence hovering around it.

As I approached the Countess’s room, the maids passing by glanced at me but didn’t particularly step forward to stop me.

If the Countess became angry after reading this letter, it wouldn’t end with just a few beatings. But I had to do it. Because I had told Sabrina it wasn’t her fault.

However, having gathered great courage to seek out the Countess, I first encountered someone I hadn’t expected to meet.

“Jonathan?”

At my call, the child sitting on the floor slightly lifted his head.

Ah, was bright sunlight shining from somewhere?

Jonathan, now five years old, was like a cute puppy with plump cheeks. A golden puppy, at that. His eyes sparkled as if stars had been embedded in them, and his calves below his shorts were so short and cute.

How could he be so different from Justin when they both had the same blonde hair and blue eyes?

“Who are you?”

The puppy asked.

“Oh, I’m…”

What should I introduce myself as? I had seen him once briefly about two years ago, but it was perfectly natural that he didn’t remember me.

“My name is Lienne, Lienne Rowe Fennel.”

“You’re a Fennel too?”

Yes, unfortunately.

Looking around, I could see a maid who appeared to be a nanny dozing by the window.

“What are you doing here?”

In front of your mother’s tightly closed door?

Seeing toys scattered here and there, it didn’t look like he was just staying briefly.

“Me? I’m waiting for Mom…”

Ah, I was speechless and bit my lips for a moment. How long had this tiny child been waiting for his mother? In front of a door that showed no signs of ever opening, hoping for warmth he might someday feel.

Then the nanny woke up and approached us.

“What are you doing here?”

It was natural for wariness to appear in the maid’s eyes when seeing the bastard child from the west wing who had suddenly appeared. I straightened my body and lifted my chin slightly. When I stood confidently, the nanny’s attitude softened a little.

“I received permission from Count Fennel to go anywhere in this house. You can go ask the head butler to confirm it.”

She didn’t completely let down her guard. She seemed uncertain whether that “anywhere” included the Countess’s room.

“Don’t worry about Jonathan and go ahead. I’m not going to cause any trouble in front of the Countess’s door.”

“Then, then I’ll be back shortly.”

Not knowing how to react to this first-time occurrence, she shuffled her feet before hurrying off, saying she would go meet the head butler.

“Jonathan, shall I wait for Mom with you?”

“Really?”

His already sparkling eyes shone even brighter with joy. Who on earth does this child resemble to be so pretty?

“Yes.”

“Then will you play with me too?”

“What game were you playing?”

“Me, knight games.”

“Then there should be villains too. But let’s play quietly. Your mother might be sleeping. Let’s go over there to the side.”

The child took my outstretched hand without any hesitation. The child’s hand in mine was so small that my heart began to race.

From that day on, I always stayed close to Sabrina and Jonathan. And we mainly played near where Ricardo drew his pictures.

I also didn’t forget to write letters to the Countess every single day.

I was able to continue finding courage to send letters because the tutor who had been beating Sabrina was dismissed from the mansion the very next day. Although I didn’t receive a reply from the Countess, the letters I slipped under her door never came back either.

The contents weren’t anything special. I just wrote down trivial stories that happened in the Count’s house.

What Sabrina did well today, what Jonathan ate well, which maid had quit her job – such small matters.

When flowers bloomed in the garden, I drew flowers. When the moon in the sky resembled an eyebrow, I drew that too.

When about a year had passed like this, maids were assigned to the east wing as well. They said it was by the Countess’s order.

Although the situation had improved greatly, I didn’t neglect protecting Ricardo from Justin.

Of course, what I could do was limited. It wasn’t easy to protect Ricardo from that pervert who loved art.

Justin was the first son Count Fennel had with his second wife. This also meant that when Justin became the head of the Fennel family, the future of the Countess would be difficult to guarantee as well.

Still, from some point on, Ricardo seemed to notice why I collected and hid his paintings.

On days when Justin returned to the mansion with Count Fennel, he didn’t draw pictures and was never alone.

But no matter how careful Ricardo was, he couldn’t avoid every moment. Even with Sabrina and Jonathan helping out, I got beaten by Justin many times because of Ricardo.

On nights when I groaned in pain after being severely beaten by him, Ricardo always stayed by my side. Even though he was hurting from being beaten too, he never once made a sound of pain.

Those were difficult days, but time didn’t stop flowing. And we all endured that time together.

It wasn’t easily felt while in civilization, but the seasons of the desert kept changing little by little.

Jonathan’s short calves grew longer, and Sabrina’s height was no longer greater than mine.

Another two years passed like that.

And Ricardo… what’s the point of saying? He was the man who would later be called the absolute beauty of the empire.

He became more and more beautiful, and just as protecting him was becoming more difficult, things began to happen that made me feel everything was beyond my control.