IDIBC Chapter 11

You Like Me, Don’t You?

“I’m feeling a bit frustrated right now.”

Our family’s reaction had likely contributed to Ricardo’s frustration. Though we should have been surprised by his sudden declaration that he would take me away, we acted as if it was something that was bound to happen.

Facilitator of manifestation – that’s probably what the Empire would call me.

“When did you complete your awakening?”

While there had never been a Rochester who failed to achieve awakening after manifestation, Ricardo had achieved awakening faster than other Rochesters. I had heard that countless wars of the Empire were extinguished because of him. Thanks to that, the Empire’s territory had nearly doubled in size.

I had believed that everything was over then.

He had gained power that no one could dare approach in a distant world I could never reach, and I, having nothing to do with him, would no longer be engulfed in flames.

Ricardo remained silent for a while at my question, then slowly parted his lips.

“Seven years ago.”

Seven years ago meant he had achieved awakening almost simultaneously with his manifestation. I tried my best to avoid eye contact with him naturally as I continued speaking.

“If you have anything you’re curious about regarding me, please ask.”

“Until I met you, I thought there would be nothing to ask about…”

“……”

“First question: you weren’t designated as a facilitator for my manifestation. So how was that possible?”

It was a question like asking, “Aren’t you not a saintess?”

“Ah, that was by chance.”

At the word “chance,” Ricardo’s face crumpled.

But what could I do? It really had happened by chance. As I learned later, the wooden sword that struck Ricardo’s head was made from trees in the Black Forest, which no one could enter without royal permission.

Even a rotting branch that had fallen to the ground there was not something that could be carelessly taken out.

However, the royal family would cut down sacred trees once a year to build altars, and wooden swords were sometimes made from the scraps.

I had heard they were twice as hard as ordinary wooden swords but half the weight, making them quite expensive.

So I suspected that Ricardo’s manifestation might have been due to that object.

But how could I tell him that I had caused his manifestation by hitting his forehead hard?

Wouldn’t that be too frivolous a manifestation compared to a Rochester’s reputation?

“Fine, there’s no rush. Then, second question.”

I nodded my head. It would be fortunate if he let it pass like this.

“Count Fennel and his eldest son were executed according to Imperial law.”

The time from confirming the sentence to its execution was living while not truly living.

Due to Ricardo’s sudden manifestation, there was no time to prepare for escape, and much had changed afterward. To the point where surviving alone while abandoning my family would have been meaningless.

“But how did you and the remaining family members survive?”

To answer that question, there was something I needed to know first.

“How did you find us, Your Grace?”

“I had quite a hard time.”

Ah, you don’t remember this either.

“But once I decided to look again, I found you quickly.”

Of course. You were the one who hid me and my family here. I briefly recalled that day from the past.

“Why are you making that expression?”

When our eyes met, the events I had experienced before flashed by like a revolving lantern. When he had returned to the Fennel estate after leaving for the duchy, he had looked at me with the same confused eyes as now.

The young Ricardo of that day had ultimately protected me and my family. As if repaying my irrational and unreasonable faith in him.

I had thought that all my efforts to protect you had been repaid by that…

“What… are you thinking about right now?”

He asked while loosening his strangling tie slightly. The way he raised one eyebrow completely overlapped with his past self, and an answer came out of me unconsciously.

“I’m not thinking about anything.”

“That sounded like informal speech…”

“I’m, I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

I quickly lowered my gaze and moved away from him. Repeating to myself that our eyes must not meet… But my pitiful effort crumbled with one touch from him. He lightly grasped my chin and made our eyes meet directly.

“It’s not proper to touch a lady’s body without permission.”

“……”

“But you keep making me impatient.”

Only ash-gray colors swirled in his unfathomable black eyes.

“Perhaps this is the first time I’ve felt the emotion of impatience.”

That meant I should handle it well on my own.

“And earlier I was too flustered… Having someone speak informally to me is quite an unfamiliar experience.”

“Were we that kind of relationship?” He spoke as if asking in a subtle voice, but it wasn’t really a question. What would it feel like to know that you’ve lost your memory? Somehow, I didn’t want to make him feel lost.

“Some time after Your Grace went to the Empire, Emperor Dermeier ordered the execution of everyone in the Fennel family.”

“I know that.”

The execution was postponed much longer than expected. We were detained at the estate for months, waiting only for the day we would die. We could only guess that there were some political reasons between the Empire and the Principality for not being sent to prison immediately or executed right away.

“Before the knights of the Dermeier Empire came to the Fennel estate, Your Grace came to find me first.”

“I did?”

At that time, Ricardo had come to find me while I was sleeping. Still looking at me as if I were a complete stranger.

“Yes, you evacuated me and my family before the knights surrounded the house.”

At first, he had tried to take only me. But when I fiercely resisted, he also evacuated the other family members and took us to a house that had been prepared in advance. It didn’t seem like it had been prepared in a short time.

“So what you’re saying is that I still had some memories left until then?”

I shrugged my shoulders. Was “having memories” the right expression?

“You weren’t remembering. But you said you felt that you had to save me.”

“Look directly into my eyes.”

He stared directly into my eyes as if trying to discern the truth.

Perhaps the reason Rochesters possess eyes that can gauge truth, in addition to having tremendous power to encompass all the forces of the world, was God’s arrangement to prevent memory-lost Rochesters from being swayed by the lies surrounding them.

The emotions that Rochesters had to reveal as the price for exercising their power were basic emotions like joy, sadness, curiosity, and anger, but they were fatal for a duke who shouldn’t reveal his inner thoughts.

His emotions appeared as fleeting colors in the core of his pitch-black pupils. For instance, red was anger, yellow was interest.

Therefore, Rochesters trained throughout their lives to quickly contain their emotions. As a result, emotions that flashed for an instant usually disappeared without a chance to be grasped.

“If not memory, then just… some kind of emotion?”

How can you ask me about your emotions? There’s no way I could know.

I gently pushed away his hand that was holding my chin. Meeting his eyes was still too overwhelming. Especially looking into those emotionless eyes he would show to strangers.

“It could have been that, or it might not have been. Anyway, you’re the one who brought us to the house where we’re living now.”

He didn’t continue speaking for a while with a confused expression. Of course, it wasn’t confusion I had to bear. Now he had to be a person from a completely different world from me.

“Taking me with you is because I helped with your manifestation, right?”

“Yes.”

Though he paused briefly, an affirmative answer soon came.

Feeling as if my heart was collapsing with a crash, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them. He gazed at me with a sideways glance. My body naturally hunched at the slightly chilling sensation in my shoulders.

His deep gaze, unsuited to the situation, remained consistently calm. So that I couldn’t even guess his inner thoughts.

His gaze slowly passed by my ear, lingered in the empty space behind me, then stopped again on my face. Somehow, I felt I couldn’t even breathe out small breaths loudly.

I was terribly afraid of those cold eyes.

‘Am I ultimately becoming a witch pretending to be a saintess?’

After thinking, I quickly shook my head vigorously. It was too early to judge.

“You’re thinking of something else again?”

“What?”

“Lady Fennel.”

Ricardo called me affectionately while scanning my hair with his gaze. Even though he hadn’t laid a hand on me, goosebumps rose all over my body.

“But you know.”

“Y-yes?”

They were eyes as deep and enchanting as darkness that never failed to confuse my mind.

“There’s something really strange since earlier.”

At his lingering voice, my throat somehow narrowed and I couldn’t swallow saliva well.

“You… like me, don’t you?”

“Ah…”

Suddenly, a trace of some day ten years ago flashed by. Twelve-year-old Ricardo had asked me with exactly the same expression.

[You… like me, don’t you?]

Though there was no reason for wind to blow into the carriage, the green and fishy smell of grass lingered at the tip of my nose like that day. Then and now, I couldn’t give a proper answer. Because I painfully felt every time our eyes met that I still liked him.

“How is that possible? So much time has passed.”

“That’s… right.”

There was no way I could have the will to hide anything before eyes that could gauge truth. Before awakening his abilities, it might have been just a lucky guess, but the current Ricardo could see everyone’s truth raw.

“But that’s like the feeling of seeing delicious food when you’re hungry.”

A crack appeared between his brows at the inappropriate comparison.