ERTHMB Chapter 149

Shameless Love

Helena trembled violently at the lips that were forced upon hers. Eugene didn’t budge an inch and instead began to push even more fiercely. He grabbed Helena’s waist as she staggered backward and devoured her relentlessly.

Helena struck Eugene’s chest with all her might, but it was futile. The more she resisted, the stronger Eugene’s restraint became, constricting her entire body. Every scream she tried to make was swallowed into Eugene’s mouth.

Her staggering steps were pushed back until her back hit the glass wall. Eugene leaned one arm against the wall for support and pressed his body even closer. There was nowhere left to escape.

Even the hand that had been striking him became trapped against his chest, unable to move.

Their roughly crushed lips collided harshly with teeth, and Helena could taste the metallic tang of blood between her labored breaths. She couldn’t tell whose it was.

Her body felt like it wasn’t her own under his recklessly pouring twisted affection.

‘Ian…!’

Helena squeezed her eyes shut. The tears that had welled up streamed down from the corners of her eyes. She cried from frustration.

She was breathless, hated her body that couldn’t even properly resist, and the combination of complex emotions and physical circumstances kept forming new teardrops.

It had been so long since she’d been exposed to such a helpless feeling. It was the same helplessness that only Eugene had once made her feel.

She was letting herself fall back into that terrible mass. Helena could do nothing but accept him as he hollowed her out and invaded her.

In the midst of the chaos, Eugene changed angles once more. As he did, his merciless pace slowed slightly. She felt his lower lip, which had been thrashing uncontrollably, between her teeth. If this was an opportunity, this was it. Helena bit down with all her strength.

It was a sensation that would never remain a pleasant memory. The metallic taste intensified.

Fortunately, it was effective. Eugene let out a brief groan and finally pulled away.

However, the arm wrapped around her upper body remained firm. He didn’t relax his grip at all, as if he wouldn’t let go even after today passed.

Eugene wiped his torn lip and tilted his head again. Helena struggled to break completely free from him.

“Stop it! What do you think you’re doing!”

Eugene allowed Helena’s feeble flailing for a moment. But her two clenched fists soon lost their strength.

“Ugh…!”

Eugene grabbed both of Helena’s wrists and pulled. Even at his effortless pull, Helena’s upper body swayed greatly. Eugene pinned her wrists against the wall and forced Helena to look at him.

At a distance close enough for their lips to meet again, Eugene spoke.

“If you want to curse me, do it, Helena. If you want to hit me, I’ll put a knife in your hand so you can swing it freely. I can live twisted forever. But remember one thing.”

Unlike Helena, who was panting from lack of air in her lungs, Eugene showed no signs of being flustered.

His face was cold and frigid, as if this was a decision made in an utterly rational state. If not for his swollen lips, it would have been impossible to imagine he was the same man who had just been so recklessly forcing himself on her—he was that indifferent.

Eugene warned Helena firmly with a voice that scraped his vocal cords.

“No matter how desperately you struggle for your life, we will never break.”

“Eugene!”

“You and I will spend the rest of our lives here. As the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess of Evergale.”

Amidst his frost-covered face, only his eyes were filled with heat. Helena clearly met and withstood that overflowing fervor.

Her wrists throbbed, her eyes burned, and her breath trembled, but she scraped together what little breath remained and let out a bitter laugh.

“How pitiful you are. Is this all you can do? Is this the best the great Grand Duke of Evergale can manage?”

For an instant, a crack appeared in Eugene’s expression. Helena felt as if she had briefly glimpsed and peered into his innermost self.

He was shabby and unsightly. Pitiful and lonely. So different from Eugene’s usual appearance that seeing him like this felt almost like a taboo.

But Eugene composed himself as if it had been an illusion and silently glared at Helena. Then, as if it was meaningless, he withdrew his body.

The oppressive weight of his massive body disappeared, and her pinned wrists finally dropped. As Helena clasped her reddened skin, Eugene returned to the table.

Reaching it in a few long strides, he picked up the document lying there alone.

The divorce papers that had left only one person’s name blank from summer until now.

The flimsy paper ultimately failed to fill the empty space and was torn in half in Eugene’s grip.

“Did you think I was an idiot who would sit quietly and meekly pray for your happiness?”

Eugene, who tore the paper repeatedly with each syllable he uttered, threw the shredded divorce papers in front of Helena.

The finely shredded pieces scattered like confetti celebrating this moment.

Helena stood trampling on what decorated the floor in disarray.

“Then do you think I look like a woman who will meekly accept and live with this?”

Helena roughly wiped the blood on her own lips and raised her voice.

“If you’re going to act like this, next time we’ll meet in court, not at Evergale. So dare to come find me. We don’t both want to end up in a filthy mess, do we?”

“You still don’t seem to understand, Helena. I told you there is no end between us.”

Eugene swelled with intimidation again. He took a threatening step forward, but Helena had regained her composure.

Helena stared at Eugene with a perfectly numb face. She could do so now without forcing herself to erase her expression. This was her true feeling.

“What, are you going to lose control of your emotions again and lunge at me like a dog in heat? Then I’ll just think of it as being bitten by a filthy stray dog.”

“…….”

Eugene’s smooth face remained unchanged, but Helena thought she heard the sound of cracks deepening beneath the ice. As proof, Eugene couldn’t come any closer.

Helena moved her lips slowly, as if making a child who was just staring blankly at a picture book understand.

“No matter how much you try, I have no feelings anymore. I don’t resent you, I’m not angry.”

It was time to say goodbye to him too. She swallowed the words that part of her life had been able to smile thanks to him anyway.

And the words that they were fated to end up like this from the beginning.

“Just live well with that woman. I won’t tell you to live happily.”

She left only the last bit of pity and sympathy she could have for him.

Helena immediately turned and left the glass greenhouse. Unlike the warmth inside, the moment she stepped outside, the winter wind slapped her cheeks. Her nape felt more exposed than usual because of her shortened hair.

However, Helena somehow felt her body becoming warmer. A stirring arose in a corner of her heart. It was the same wave as when she had cut her hair.

It wasn’t the anxious sense of liberation like that summer day when she had first run away from Eugene.

It was complete and whole freedom.

****

“I wanted to treat you more, what a shame. Are you leaving already?”

On the way to where Walter had prepared a horse, a familiar shadow approached. Helena didn’t respond and continued walking, but Natasha followed along, chattering.

“Madam. Just in case, let me tell you—I don’t dislike you. I just love the Grand Duke too much. You understand, of course, don’t you? Ah, now that you’re divorced, should I call you Lady Owen? Wait, there’s a rumor that you’re becoming Sir Agyle’s adopted daughter, so should it be Lady Agyle?”

When Walter’s existence was even mentioned, Helena stopped walking.

“Cut the unnecessary chatter and get to the point. I’ve already heard plenty, so I don’t have time to listen to more bullshit.”

Then Natasha clasped both hands behind her back and twisted her body like a shy girl. It was odd, as the reaction didn’t match the sharp tone and content.

“So what I wanted to say is… please don’t hate me too much, Madam. People being drawn to and liking people, that’s not something you can control, is it? As you know best, Madam, love isn’t eternal either. No matter how hotly it once burned, when the fire goes out, it’s only natural that cold ashes remain.”

Since Helena didn’t interrupt, Natasha continued with her presumptuous advice.

“So please, when you meet your next relationship, don’t hesitate and burn with all your might. Men, as creatures, have no patience and can’t wait long.”

After hearing that much, Helena let out a sneer. Her ears were too ticklish to bear listening any longer. Why were there so many yapping things today?

“Go ahead and do that. I have no intention of keeping such a beast with no patience, even if offered.”

“……?”

Natasha’s mask broke more easily than expected. She showed a genuinely surprised reaction for once.

Eugene had been the person Helena viewed as more sacred and holy than any god in the world.

She had just spat out that same man, comparing him to a mere beast. Natasha even doubted whether the woman before her was really Helena Evergale.

“Why are humans human, Natasha?”

Helena leaned toward the confused Natasha. Natasha didn’t step back at all and looked straight at Helena. Helena tapped Natasha’s head with her index finger and spoke.

“Unlike beasts, they think and know morality. But why should I love someone who has voluntarily given that up, even to the point of cutting away myself?”

Natasha tried to smile by stretching her eyes.

“Please don’t take it too harshly. I’m saying this out of concern that you might suffer heartbreak again if you keep being so nice.”

“My, are you closer to that side than human too? How many times must I tell you before you understand?”

Though they were at similar eye levels, Natasha felt Helena was looking down at her from much higher.

Helena spat out undisguised insults without restraint.

“But of course, that’s why you recognized each other at first sight—kindred spirits.”

“……!”

Natasha felt her lips tremble for the first time in a long while. Her insides churned, which hadn’t budged even under Christine’s oppression.

That was what it felt like to receive the same pity from the woman she had felt sorry for and pitied.

Only Beelzebuth was allowed to look at her that way. It should never have been a woman like Helena Evergale.

However, Helena turned away with cold mockery hanging at the corners of her lips.

“You go ahead and burn to your heart’s content, that shameless love of yours.”