IDIBC Chapter 25

I Don’t Remember Anything

“We all know it. Fennel isn’t the one God chose.”

“Mariette, there’s no need to point out what everyone already knows.”

“But the situation has changed. Lady Fennel has not only helped with the manifestation but also awakening.”

Not many knew this fact. Ricardo’s eyes narrowed. Nevertheless, Mariette didn’t avoid his wary gaze.

“Even so, nothing changes. We all know it clearly. That the saintess is your companion.”

Ricardo ran his hand through his hair, revealing his boiling emotions.

Normally he would have handled this smoothly, but somehow today he felt unable to tolerate the Crown Princess.

Regardless of his state, Mariette continued speaking.

“Remember that you can be engaged to Fennel even temporarily only because of His Highness the Crown Prince’s consideration.”

“……”

“You must become Emperor. You must never forget that.”

“That’s enough, Mariette. I understand the despair you feel looking at your husband who can no longer walk……”

Ricardo crossed his arms loosely and gazed at Mariette as if watching a boring theatrical performance.

“I’m just letting it slide that you’re crossing the line right now.”

Mariette clenched her fists tight. Despair—once a name was attached to the emotion she’d been feeling since yesterday, it became even harder to contain.

“You’re right. I am miserable right now. The fact that the cause of all this is none other than me and my son is indescribably horrifying. So you, who participated in this matter, must understand. How precious half a life is to someone who only has 10 years left to live.”

“……”

“Especially the feelings of someone who must leave behind those they need to protect.”

“It was the Crown Prince himself who hastened his death for that.”

“I know! But right now I can’t resent His Highness.”

Mariette had witnessed with her own eyes the scene of her beloved husband collapsing with his legs buckling like a newborn foal. It remained as an indelible brand that wouldn’t be erased no matter how hard she tried. It would probably remain unforgotten throughout her life, piercing her heart.

“So I resent you. I only hope that his life, paid as the price to protect me and my son, won’t be used in vain.”

Ricardo, who had been staring at Mariette for a moment, let out a chuckle. The tense atmosphere between them shattered instantly.

“Mariette……”

Ricardo called the Crown Princess’s name almost tenderly as he stretched his neck far back over the chair’s backrest. He captured the distant sky in his view.

If he spat at the sky from here, it would just fall back on his face. Not on the cursed gods.

The damn weather was so dazzlingly bright, it didn’t suit his situation at all.

In fact, the Dermeier Empire itself was like that. To Ricardo, the Empire was excessively mild and ostentatiously bright.

“I know why you came here. You wanted to see me looking at that woman.”

As if trying to find meaning in the clouds changing their shape, he tilted his head slightly to the right.

“You were afraid I might go mad and break our promise……”

“……”

“But you wasted your time.”

Then, as bright light beat down on him like an attack, Ricardo squinted one eye.

“I don’t remember, Mariette.”

“……”

“I don’t remember anything.”

White, blue, black—dull emotions that knocked bluntly on his chest, sometimes so absurdly.

“Right now, I just feel like tormenting that woman a little.”

Ricardo eventually closed both eyes. Thinking briefly how grateful he’d be if someone would just thrust a knife into his neck like this.

“When I look at that woman……. I feel like I’m being thrust naked to the bottom of the darkest, coldest ocean floor. That’s how I feel looking at Miss Fennel.”

Nevertheless, he kept thinking of her. Even while the Crown Princess poured out words like a downpour, continuously.

That woman who acted as if she would push him out of this world if their eyes didn’t meet.

Ricardo slowly raised his head and met Mariette’s gaze.

“So there’s nothing between that woman and me. Mariette.”

In the black eyes they met, the wick burned red as if deliberately showing itself.

“Nothing at all.”

His sharply shining eyes were cold as ice, yet on the other hand so scorchingly hot that Mariette was momentarily at a loss for words and even stopped breathing.

“Because of that damn contract your husband and I supposedly made, which I don’t even remember, I’m just going through the motions. That means there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

That look in his eyes seemed like a warning never to touch her, with whom he claimed to have nothing.

Like the blind instinct of a male protecting a female that entered his territory.

Mariette eventually averted her eyes from him and stood up.

“Just remember this, Ricardo. There isn’t much time left. The day when your true companion will enter this ducal house.”

Six months—in the world only the Crown Prince remembers, she comes to the Empire in six months. Along with the oracle that she is the woman who will become Empress.

****

A week had passed since the Crown Princess’s visit.

Even with the mild climate, it wasn’t as if the four seasons couldn’t be felt. The wind that had been cool when I arrived here now carried warmth, and the colors of the flowers adorning the surroundings deepened.

The spring flower petals ripened firmly and the grass along the path to Blue Hill grew more lush. It was remarkable. Only a week had passed.

I hadn’t been able to see Ricardo’s face since that day. He was busy with something and stayed away from home even more than before. Thanks to that, his pestering for engagement was also temporarily in a lull.

Though I was spending my days receiving excellent treatment, not a single day was comfortable.

“Would you like to go to the library?”

“The library?”

During the day I mostly took walks and read books the maids brought. And I usually had dinner at Blue Hill. Going back and forth by carriage every day, I didn’t really feel like I was confined somewhere.

“Yes, instead of the books we borrow for you, how about choosing them yourself?”

Samantha had figured out relatively quickly what kind of books I liked. I could tell just from how she observed which books I handled often and selected similar ones.

But I’d always thought it would be better to choose them myself, so going to the library together was quite an appealing proposal.

“But I wasn’t sure if it would be alright for me to visit the library.”

In any family, the library was the most private space. It was considered improper to enter and exit freely without permission from the owner of the residence or the head of the family.

“The young master said you may go anywhere within the Hyacinth Mansion.”

That meant they had specifically asked Ricardo about the library and obtained his permission. I left my room with a slightly excited feeling for the first time in a while.

The library was on the first floor. I came down the stairs next to my bedroom and walked for quite a while after turning in the opposite direction.

It was called the first floor, but it was actually down three or four more steps from the lobby, and you had to pass through a long corridor to reach it. It was definitely a place that would be difficult to access unless you were the master of the mansion.

“By the way, when are you going to start speaking informally to us?”

Angela, with her honey-colored hair and friendly light brown eyes, was the most lively and sociable among the maids. As I treated the maids comfortably, Angela seemed to have opened her heart to me as well. Sometimes she even felt like a friend.

“Maybe…… starting tomorrow?”

At my flippant answer, Angela and the other maid laughed along. Actually, the reason I couldn’t speak informally was that I wasn’t used to this kind of relationship. Although I was a noble, I’d never lived as one, so it was natural.

Of course, at Count Fennel’s house, I had no trouble at all speaking down to the servants. There was a feeling of not wanting to be looked down upon for being young, and the weight of the Fennel name at that time was such.

But afterward, I lived a life similar to commoners. I cultivated a vegetable garden myself and went to the market to bargain. As a result, it wasn’t easy for me to speak informally to those who addressed me formally.

“We’re here.”

Where Angela stopped, there was a truly enormous door. I caught my breath for a moment with a slightly trembling feeling.

Inside the library was brighter than other rooms. The windows were larger than in other places, and there were many more of them. It was an excellent environment for reading books.

Beyond the windows, the mansion’s rear garden spread out. Hyacinth’s rear garden had a more charming quality than other gardens. If you opened a book in front of the window, it seemed like you could stay all day.

After passing through the interior corridor and entering a bit further inside, a library of an enormous scale that I’d never seen in Resotia unfolded before my eyes.

Mahogany bookshelves that gleamed from the raw wood itself were packed tightly, and hardcover books that looked luxurious at a glance filled all those shelves.

“Wow…….”

At my involuntary exclamation, the maids standing nearby giggled.

“Is it that amazing?”

“It’s really incredible.”

“Right?”

Angela guided me further inside, rattling off words as if introducing her own home.

“Besides Hyacinth Mansion, the main residence has an even bigger library.”

“Really?”

“Yes, they say it’s as grand in scale as the Imperial Library. The Duchess is quite proud of that library.”