IDIBC Chapter 40

A Relationship Between a Man and Woman That Offers No Certainty

For a moment, Sabrina held her breath and listened to my words, but I was lost in my own thoughts and didn’t notice her reaction.

“Is that… how it normally is?”

I expected her to ask what I meant, but Sabrina just continued trying on the necklace and earrings in the same position as before. If anything, her attitude made me feel more anxious.

“I mean, is it normal to act so passionately and then suddenly cool off like that?”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, this isn’t about me, it’s about my friend…”

At the sound of a snicker, I turned my head to find Sabrina staring directly at me, our eyes meeting head-on.

“Exactly how passionately did they act, and how did they cool off?”

“Well, you see…”

I hesitated greatly, but my hesitation didn’t last long. In truth, Sabrina was the only person I had to confide in about such frustrating feelings.

“I’m saying, a man who passionately kissed someone in a carriage on the way there could then take a separate carriage on the way back.”

“That sounds like Ricardo.”

“Wh-what are you talking about? This is about my, my friend.”

“Friend, my foot. Where do you even have friends here?”

Right, I should have known better than to try fooling her. From childhood, this girl who couldn’t do arithmetic to save her life had been incredibly sharp at reading situations. Besides, as she said, it made no sense that I would have made friends here.

I let out a deep sigh, pulled a pillow into my arms, and sat up on the bed.

“I mean, so…”

As I recounted what happened last night, I felt embarrassed at various moments, but after pouring it out to her, albeit briefly, my heart felt considerably lighter. Of course, I didn’t go as far as telling her about meeting Chaplin or Paquin.

Even with my rough account, Sabrina nodded like an expert.

“Is that Ricardo’s answer?”

“Well, you can’t say it isn’t. He says things like spending the night together, or that I’m his woman, but the situation doesn’t actually allow for it.”

“I see… so that’s it?”

“You think Ricardo would keep you by his side with all that’s going on around him? When there’s already a woman he’s supposed to marry?”

“…”

“Our young duke might be able to die in your place, but he’d never be able to tell you to stay by his side alongside another woman, not even if it killed him.”

“Why are you jumping to such extremes? Why would Rica die in my place?”

I pouted and glared at Sabrina, feeling strangely unsettled. I didn’t even want to imagine such a thing—him dying in my place.

“What I’m saying is, every other man in this world might be capable of it, but our young duke absolutely cannot do such a thing. You and I both know that well. No matter how much people age, their fundamental nature doesn’t change, and Ricardo is especially like that.”

I know that well. That’s exactly why I shouldn’t have done what I did yesterday. But still, when a man and woman are sitting in that position, isn’t the next step obvious?

Besides, he clearly knows I like him, and yet he didn’t let me go either.

“But our young duke is surprisingly unexpected.”

With every sentence ending in “our young duke, young duke,” my emotions surged, but I silently waited for Sabrina to continue. As much as I hated to admit it, sometimes Sabrina’s words helped me live properly.

“I never thought he was someone who would feel such impulses. How could he make the first move like that?”

I pressed my lips tightly together for a moment. And Sabrina caught onto my behavior with uncanny accuracy.

“Wait, you don’t mean… surely you didn’t make the first move…”

Before she could finish, I shouted in a somewhat agitated voice.

“Y-yes! I made the first move, okay? I did, but the atmosphere was—it really was like that, I’m telling you.”

“Ha, I knew you’d cause a big incident someday. It’s fortunate our young duke is so kind.”

“What?”

Ricardo being kind—I’d never even considered such a thing.

“You haven’t met the young duke again, have you?”

“No, of course not. The last time I saw him was from a distance when you were leaving Resotia. And would the young duke even meet with me? He probably doesn’t even remember me anyway.”

“…”

“But he really grew up well. He was always exceptionally handsome, but still. To think such a man exists in this world—it was hard to believe even seeing him.”

Right, so that’s why the words “too kind” came out naturally. Sabrina had always made it a habit to say that handsome men were kind men.

But if she actually had a proper conversation with him now, she’d know full well how ill-suited the description “kind” was for him.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t kind. It’s just that he’d grown up too fearsome.

“Hmm…”

Just then, Sabrina let out an ominously nasal sigh.

“But, you know, this isn’t your first time.”

“Wh-what isn’t?”

“Stealing Ricardo’s lips, I mean. This isn’t your first time.”

Why did Sabrina still remember such an old, long-past story?

Having nothing to say, I buried my face in the pillow I was holding. As she said, there really had been such a day.

It wasn’t as intensely sensory as what happened in the carriage last night, feeling almost cruel, but it was a tender experience I could call my first kiss.

“Anyway, to sum up the content, last night’s incident was a momentary impulse. Yesterday you wore rather provocative clothes, the rain was pouring down heavily, it was dark, and in the carriage, it was just you and Ricardo, only the two of you. So that’s the end of the story.”

How many stories have you ended like that?

I clicked my tongue, harshly reproaching myself for having asked something pointless from this legendary playgirl.

Then Sabrina placed all the jewelry she’d been holding onto the dressing table and came closer to me. She gently sat on the bed as before.

“Lienne.”

At the tenderly called name, my gaze naturally lifted to meet hers. When our eyes met, Sabrina reached out and stroked my cheek. The familiar scent of roses from her washed over me strongly.

“Only that far.”

“Hm?”

“There’s no future between you and Ricardo.”

I couldn’t answer and froze in place. Was the phrase “no future between us” such a heart-wrenching thing to say? From the beginning, we’d never had anything that could be called a future, or even anything that could be considered a past.

“Someone like me can meet, love, and part ways easily, but…”

“…”

“You two can’t. You can’t do that.”

You’ll be in pain enough to die for the rest of your lives. Though she didn’t say it aloud, what Sabrina’s eyes conveyed clearly pierced my ears.

“A relationship between a man and woman that offers no certainty is a wound in itself.”

“For you, and for the young duke.” Though her voice continued gently, to me it sounded like a stern warning.

Even for someone like me who made it a habit to say everything was fine, if I got hurt one more time in my relationship with Ricardo, it would truly hurt. Perhaps for much longer than I could imagine—it would hurt and hurt again.

So only that far. Protect yourself—that would be the wise thing to do.

It was a solemn command I was giving to myself.

****

The day after the banquet at Count Enehaz’s estate, Walter woke up from his bed in a refreshed mood. The memories of that day had been completely erased, but such occurrences were familiar to him.

If problems arose at Count Enehaz’s estate, he’d planned to return using Chaplin’s power if necessary—that had been his original plan.

He was currently the hottest commodity on the marriage market, and it was only natural that women would flock to him.

Walter found the entire situation dreadful. Especially when women wearing heavy perfumes touched his body—it tormented him as much as submerging his body in a container full of insects.

And yellow roses, no less.

Who had created such a vulgar trend?

To Walter’s eyes, the women wearing yellow roses were no different from one-eyed witches floating about without feet.

According to the butler, he had returned home safely, and upon quick investigation, no problems related to Walter had occurred at Count Enehaz’s estate.

He had only received the somewhat surprising news that the young duke of Rochester had become engaged. And not to the Saintness of Rochester, but to the woman who had helped with his manifestation.

‘But why exactly was I in my bedroom holding His Highness the Crown Prince’s hand?’

If there was one strange thing, it was the fact that he had returned home together with His Highness the Crown Prince.

The butler said it had been that way from the beginning, so there was no problem.

When he came to meet Walter, he was already with His Highness the Crown Prince. So perhaps while shaking hands with His Highness the Crown Prince, he had transferred here.

The Crown Prince was equally bewildered. Though they knew what each other’s abilities were, this was the first time they had directly experienced them, so the Crown Prince’s reaction was understandable.

The fact that those accompanying the Crown Prince came separately to the duke’s residence later made it clear that the Crown Prince had come here first, holding Walter’s hand.

However, his peace was shattered by a young servant who had briefly visited Walter’s bedroom on that fateful day.

“What exactly do you mean by that? The young duke was with His Highness the Crown Prince that day.”