IDIBC Chapter 50

Because My Son Smiles, Because of You

I did my best not to sound desperate, but I couldn’t stop my voice from trembling.

[We can’t know for certain. However… once the Saintess appears, Rochester will immediately face pressure. From the Temple’s perspective, the Saintess is an existence that deserves to be respected.]

An existence that deserves to be respected. I rolled those unfamiliar words around in my mouth.

[The Temple has agreed to some extent with Rochester’s intention to protect you. After all, you’re merely someone who helped Ricardo’s manifestation. That’s why the High Priest’s attitude is very perplexing even to me.]

[…]

[But the gods being capricious is nothing new. Though we can’t know if it’s truly the gods’ will.]

Though the words were blasphemous even to hear in passing, there was no fear in the Duchess’s eyes. El Liade, the god of gods worshipped by Dermeier, is believed to be the god of the heavens and the creator god of the Dermeier Empire.

This too was nothing more than a distant and remote story that existed only in print to me.

[Then wouldn’t there be no need to go through with the engagement?]

[No, the fact that the Saintess will appear earlier than planned is information known only to the Temple and Rochester. And you must leave this empire with the status of Rochester’s fiancée. That way, even if you fall into the Emperor’s hands, you can save your life.]

The Duchess’s continued explanation was that if the engagement were to be nullified due to the Saintess’s early appearance, the Emperor’s order to kill Fennel would immediately be revived.

[Thank you for telling me. Then I… I’ll be ready in my heart to leave at any time.]

I tried to hurry and end the conversation, but the Duchess did not readily let me prepare my heart.

[However, Lady Fennel.]

[Yes, please speak.]

Unable to know what expression I was wearing due to the suddenly changed situation, I rubbed my cheeks with my cold hands. Hiding my expression was the bigger reason.

[Do you perhaps like Ricardo?]

I should say no right away…

[So do you want to stay by his side?]

The truth that even I didn’t know was unearthed, striking at the heart of the matter. The Duchess let out a laugh like a sigh, along with words that such feelings couldn’t be hidden even if one wanted to hide them.

[B-but don’t worry. I…]

[Lienne, I’m not on anyone’s side. I asked to see you separately because I wanted to say this.]

At first, I thought I must have misheard. Yet even before I could fully understand the words, my entire back tingled as if being scratched from the top of my head down. I only realized after some time had passed that it was a shiver.

[What… do you mean by that?]

Still, I couldn’t help but ask again. Because there was not a single reason why the Duchess would say such things to me.

[I’m a selfish person.]

[…]

[So fight back, if you want to. To protect your place.]

There was no hint of playfulness anywhere in the Duchess’s resolute attitude. Before I could gather my wits, incomprehensible words poured down like a torrential rain.

[You’ll face tremendous pressure. When they learn that we’ve put the Saintess and you on the same level, the Temple will join hands with the Imperial family, and then even Rochester will inevitably be cornered.]

I couldn’t give any answer and only exhaled shallow breaths.

[Perhaps you might be branded a witch and burned at the stake.]

At the words spoken lightly as if joking, flames flared up before my eyes. But the fire that had filled my vision was immediately extinguished by the firm voice that followed.

[Rochester’s history has always been a series of struggles. I will elevate you, the daughter of Fennel, to the ranks of the Saintess as well. If only you wish it.]

The Duchess gripped my shoulders and met my eyes directly.

[If you want to have Ricardo, fight for it. Seize him.]

[…]

[Even if it results in the Duke and my death, even if the family is destroyed, we don’t care.]

Whispering that when they leave, I could fill their empty place, the Duchess was beautiful like a water goddess who bewitches humans.

It was a moment when I realized with my whole heart that the most dangerous temptation wears the most beautiful face.

[Why… are you saying this to me?]

I firmly grasped my fingertips that were trembling with fear.

[Why? The gods’ will? I don’t know about such things.]

No matter what anyone said, the bloodline the gods loved most was undoubtedly Rochester.

There was no one in this empire who didn’t know that…

[This is a thoroughly selfish decision for my son.]

How could I, by what means could I, become a selfish decision for Ricardo?

[I can’t understand at all. Why are you saying all this to me?]

Along with my words, only a portion of the breath that had been blocking my chest barely escaped.

Thinking about it, she had been favorable toward me from the beginning.

It was utterly absurd compared to how the world I had lived in until now had been consistently hostile toward me.

The Duchess’s unilateral support, whose reason I couldn’t even guess, came crashing down on me like a tidal wave of fear.

Then, she smiled—a smile that resembled Ricardo’s.

[The reason is very clear. It’s not even difficult.]

It was exactly that smile that was so warm it sometimes made tears well up. At the smile that perfectly resembled affection, my eyes heated up without me realizing it.

[Because my son smiles.]

[…]

[Because of you.]

At that moment, Ricardo, who had walked to the bench, turned toward me.

In one hand, he held a bouquet so beautiful it was embarrassing to call it beautiful. With an even more radiant smile.

Only then did I realize that what was keeping my feet nailed in place, unable to move, was none other than my own greed.

“Lienne.”

Ricardo called my name like a melody, showing the smile he had received as a gift from his mother. The feet that had been bound were released, and a smile formed naturally.

When the one you love is in front of you, waving a bouquet and calling you like a song, is there anyone who could not smile?

With his long legs, he approached right before me in just three steps and suddenly knelt on one knee. Unbelievable things and words swirled around me.

“Will you get engaged to me?”

I trembled, unable to breathe properly. Even knowing that the engagement he spoke of was only for 6 months. No, perhaps even knowing that it had now become even shorter.

The moonlight illuminated his brilliantly smiling face even more beautifully.

“Even if it’s an engagement like a long play, it’s still an engagement, so we should keep up appearances.”

At his calm voice, as if it were nothing special, my heart cheered ardently and purely.

Like the moon gently illuminating the earth and the immature evening primroses cheering for such a moon.

I reached out my hand toward the flowers held out before me. I couldn’t not accept them.

The fingertips that received the bouquet that couldn’t be mine trembled coldly.

“I vow to be faithful during the time I spend as your fiancé.”

Affection was woven into the face of the man who pledged temporary loyalty.

“I’ll make sure you don’t regret getting engaged to me.”

Ricardo recited the common repertoire like a man truly proposing.

“I think the next part is the love serenade, but that… I’ll skip.”

No appropriate answer came to the man who smiled playfully. Normally, I would have reproached him, saying that a proposal without a serenade is fake and that he’s already making me regret it.

However, I only exhaled—gasping breaths that were jarring even to my own ears.

The sound of my rough breathing was full of greed.

Even knowing that there was no way he couldn’t read the emotions woven into my eyes, I couldn’t avoid his gaze or hide my feelings. No, I didn’t feel like doing so.

‘Rica… can I really do that?’

The face of the man who had been meeting my eyes for a while crumpled slightly.

Would it be right to fight to keep by my side a man who has no memories left with me, who says there’s no meaning left between us?

That’s madness.

To make him abandon the Saintess chosen by the gods, to turn the Temple into an enemy, to provide ammunition to the Imperial family that constantly targets Ricardo, and still insist on satisfying my greed.

To endanger him and his family because of it, and thus to pioneer my own fate of being burned at the stake.

Toward a man who doesn’t even love me.

Yet why do I feel as if there’s only one path?

In the end, will the witch from the Eastern Kingdom be engulfed in flames and die because she couldn’t abandon her greed? Why does that tremendous thing—which I thought I’d be too afraid to take even a single step toward in my entire life—feel light as if it were nothing at this very moment?

Then Ricardo slowly stood up. Following his gaze, my head tilted up sharply. Conversely, he lowered his head fully and stared intently at my eyes for quite a while.

“Do you… desire me?”

Ah… having finally been caught with my ugly inner feelings exposed, I eventually dropped my gaze from him. But he didn’t leave me alone.

“Did my proposal suddenly make you want to have me? Is that it?”

He asked with a mixture of laughter, like someone who hadn’t yet given up hope on an unbelievable fact. As if pleading not to cross the line he had drawn.

“Yes…”

I didn’t deny it. It would have been useless in front of him anyway.