ERTHMB Chapter 166

Not a Single Line of a Lie

“Please, say something!”

A trembling cry tore through the space in an unseemly manner. The atmosphere was eerie, with only the sound of ragged breathing as the sole noise.

Ian unclenched his rejected fist and spoke with difficulty.

“From the moment I first met you until now… there hasn’t been a single line of a lie in my love for you. Please believe that much. That’s why I have to leave now.”

“Why? Is it a crime for you to love me?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Ian lowered his eyes. Helena couldn’t easily recall what color his eyes had been—those eyes that had been as beautiful as violets in full bloom. She felt as if this moment of looking at him would be the last.

Ian rose from the bed, seeming intent on leaving as he’d said. He was truly sincere—both in his confession that he’d loved her without lies, and in the fact that he had to leave now.

Helena hastily grabbed his arm.

“Don’t go.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Repeating only the same answer, Ian pulled his captured arm away. He slipped out of Helena’s grasp all too easily. Without looking back, Ian headed toward the window without hesitation.

Helena hurriedly threw off the blanket and came out, shouting at his back.

“Do you think you’re the only one who can find me? Just as you found me, I’ll find you too. I’ll keep thinking about you. Not a lot, just a little at a time. Until I don’t think of you at all, I’ll do it just a little every day. So, so…!”

Helena pleaded.

“Come back before then.”

Ian didn’t give any response, as if his lips had sealed shut again.

This time Helena urged him once more.

“Come back.”

A faint crying could now be detected in her frail voice.

Ian’s steps faltered. But that was all.

“It’s cold. Don’t come out.”

Having finally placed his foot on the windowsill, he left only a heartless farewell before jumping down. A few seconds later, the sound of galloping hooves rang out at length. It grew smaller and smaller until it could no longer be heard at all.

‘Ian… has left.’

He had completely left. Without any promise to return.

Helena put strength into her collapsing legs and somehow managed to stand. But she had no way to stop the tears from flowing. Her muffled sobbing kept leaking through the fingers covering her mouth.

The room left alone was terribly cold. Helena stared blankly at the open window through which the sound of wind echoed. It was the first coldness he had ever left behind. It stung as miserably as all the warmth she had received from him.

He had come as he pleased, liked her and made her like him as he pleased, and then left as he pleased.

Yet no matter how hard she tried, Helena couldn’t bring herself to hate him. She didn’t want to resent him either.

Even when she’d seen him covered in blood just moments ago, it had been the same. Even knowing the blood wasn’t his, her first thought had been to worry where he was hurt. She’d hoped he wasn’t in pain.

Even if she could never see him again, even if he didn’t return, even if he abandoned her—she hoped he would at least live well.

That was all Helena wished for the one who had left.

****

Ian fled Instantia quickly without looking back.

His mouth, which he’d desperately tried to restrain, was in tatters. He feared that if he took in her image even once more, he would give up everything and collapse right there.

The compromise Beelzebuth had proposed walked a precarious line.

A deal: if he returned without touching Cheshire and the funds any further, he wouldn’t touch Helena.

As long as he kept the conditions, Helena would be safe. Beelzebuth wasn’t foolish enough to ruin things with a hasty judgment.

After tearing into each other unprepared, he wouldn’t want to deal with the consequences of turning everything into a muddy mess without regard for anything.

What he wanted was a complete and certain victory. Such a victory could never arise from a disorderly brawl. Just as he knew Beelzebuth, Beelzebuth knew him as well, so Ian rode toward the Imperial Palace.

Dion and the knights with gloomy faces followed behind him. Unless it was absolutely necessary, no one opened their mouths lightly.

Unlike their usual vigor filled with silly jokes and small quarrels, the return journey was accompanied by deep silence.

Ian could only attempt something resembling a proper conversation after entering the Imperial Palace.

As soon as he entered the reception room lit up in the dark dawn, Heidi strode toward him.

“Ever since you left, I prayed every single day. For you to return safely, to finish your work and come back without any injuries. But there was one thing I prayed hardest not to happen until the very end. Do you know what it was?”

Ian ignored her and crossed the room. Heidi followed closely behind him and lashed out.

“I prayed you wouldn’t come back alone. But you came back alone again. Did she tell you to leave?”

“…….”

“Did she tell you to go back because she was in danger because of you?”

“…No.”

“Then why did you come?”

Ian, having thrown his outer garment onto the sofa, finally stopped.

After letting out a long sigh, he turned to face Heidi.

“Because it’s better than being in danger because I’m by her side. I can’t let Helen repeat that hell again if something goes wrong. Helena…”

Unable to continue, Ian ran his hand down his face.

Helena had experienced three regressions so far. If death was a device that pushed her into a predetermined fate in some way, he couldn’t let her die. He had to prevent it no matter what.

Even if it meant he had to leave her side.

Heidi raised her voice with an expression of incomprehension.

“Why do you get to decide that? Did you even ask her? That’s her choice! You don’t need to arbitrarily decide her choice too!”

“You don’t know anything.”

“The one who doesn’t know is you. Maybe all she needed was to be happy in the moments by your side. Are you stupid? No, you’re not.”

Shaking her head, Heidi jabbed Ian’s chest with her index finger.

“You’re just a cowardly hypocrite!”

Ian roughly pushed Heidi’s hand away and shouted as if growling.

“She has to survive somehow, doesn’t she!”

For a moment, Heidi faltered, overwhelmed by his intensity. With wide eyes, she let out a groan as if her throat was tightly constricted.

But she immediately fired back, wrapped in fury.

“I understand what you’re worried about, but stop running away! We’re no longer little kids crying while holding our dead mother’s body. And she’s not weak enough to break easily!”

“Don’t you still understand what such careless certainty can lead to?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know! I can’t see the future, so how would I know!”

“That’s why—”

“But what about you? Are you a god? Why do you act like everything is your responsibility? Don’t always try to protect everything by yourself! Do you think the person being protected likes it?”

“Because this is the best way!”

“No, you idiot!”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Heidi screamed desperately.

“If you keep running away because you’re afraid of losing, you’ll never be able to hold onto anything in your life!”

The sharp ending sliced through the air for a moment.

The surroundings sank into silence, as if one could see the cracks splitting through the parched atmosphere.

After a long, long silence, Ian barely moved his lips.

“—I don’t care.”

As if he had nothing more to say, he immediately passed by Heidi.

Watching Ian’s back as he left the room, Heidi felt her vision blur with anger that still wouldn’t subside.

She rubbed her eyes and spat at the door that had slammed shut.

“Fucking bastard who can’t even hold onto his own happiness.”

****

The Grand Duke Evergale’s estate boasted magnificence along with its majestic mansion throughout the four seasons. The most outstanding season among them was now.

The pond that had been frozen all winter rippled clear with melted snow, and the colorful flowers surrounding it flaunted their deepening freshness day by day. It was spring in full bloom.

Yet Eugene still felt the cold. The place Helena had left was still winter. Eugene didn’t wait for the spring that wouldn’t return, but he missed it.

He could only see Helena in his dreams. In those detestable dreams.

Eugene hated dreaming so much he wanted to rip out his brain. Even when he realized the repeating scenes were clearly hinting at something, he quickly forgot because of their content.

Because in his dreams, Helena was always crying, bleeding, or dead.

Unable to escape the dreams, he chose not to sleep at all, but there was a limit. After staying awake for three full nights, his head stopped thinking any further.

Forcing his body onto the sofa, Eugene habitually poured sleeping pills into his mouth and gulped down whiskey. Whether it was alcohol or sleep, as long as he could get intoxicated—as long as he could avoid dreaming—he didn’t care.

Eugene blinked slowly and fell asleep.

And betraying all his efforts, Helena came.

The day he left her alone to go to the battlefield, the day he pushed her away and took Natasha’s hand, the day he put a noose around her neck.

Irreversible moments repeated like nightmares. It felt like wandering alone through a silent battlefield.

Countless days piled up neatly and soon gathered into the blade of a guillotine and fell. Eugene woke up then.

“Helena!”

His chest, soaked in cold sweat, heaved rapidly. With eyes wide open, Eugene struggled to recognize that he had returned to reality.

As he wiped down his slick face, a knock came at just that moment. Eugene didn’t bother to compose himself and told them to enter.

Opening the door politely, the one who appeared was the butler, Gordon. He quietly examined Eugene and the table, then narrowed his brow slightly.

“You know you shouldn’t take alcohol and sleeping pills together.”

“—What do you want.”

Eugene dismissed him with an unrefined, gasping voice.

Gordon seemed to swallow a deep sigh, his Adam’s apple bobbing, before he spoke.

“Madam… we’ve found where Lady Helena is.”

Helena was no longer Helena Evergale, his wife. Yet perhaps out of habit, Gordon and Walter sometimes still used the title “Madam.”

Clicking his tongue briefly, Eugene rose from his seat without delay.

Watching his path as he staggered toward the door, Gordon hastily added.

“However, he wasn’t seen. We observed the situation for several days, but there was only Lady Helena at the residence.”

Eugene’s steps paused briefly. A small, barely audible laugh of derision burst out.

Soon he quickened his pace again. Gordon asked with a somewhat anxious expression.

“Are you going right now?”

Without looking back, Eugene commanded.

“Prepare just one horse.”