Even If Your Regret Tries to Hold Me Back

ERTHMB Chapter 66

     

Enduring

 

It was late at night, but the sky was noisy. The rain that had continued all afternoon poured down with such force at midnight that it seemed ready to tear the earth apart. Even the knights of the Grand Duke’s residence had pulled all their outdoor guards inside today.

 

However, only the third floor of the Evergale East mansion was bustling with a different kind of commotion.

 

Classical music flowed from a gramophone, and milky white lighting brightly illuminated the bedroom. It was a completely different world from the pitch-black scene outside the window.

 

Natasha danced lightly while holding dresses against her body, as if she were the only person living in that separate world. The needle that had been scratching the outer edge of the record on the turntable gradually moved toward the center.

 

As the music was almost ending, dull footsteps mixed in. Taking advantage of the darkness, a shadow had swiftly opened the window and entered. Natasha scolded without turning around, as usual.

 

“I told you we should only meet at the villa.”

 

The uninvited guest in the middle of the night was, as before, a man dressed entirely in black. He shook the water from his hair and spoke cheekily.

 

“Ah, on a night like this, no one would notice even if wild boars charged in. Besides, the security here was the most lax.”

 

“That damn old man doesn’t care about my safety at all.”

 

Natasha complained. However, contrary to her words, she didn’t seem particularly concerned.

 

Currently, what mattered far more to her than the mansion’s stuffy butler was which of the crimson and yellow dresses in her hands would suit her better.

 

So important was this decision that she had been deliberating for a full hour. Already, countless dresses had passed through her hands and were scattered across the bed.

 

She should have decided by now. Yet Natasha still acted as if she hadn’t found anything satisfactory. She threw even the ones in her hands onto the bed and reached toward the wardrobe again.

 

Meanwhile, the man roughly wiped the mud from his shoes and looked up. The scene that immediately greeted him was luxury itself. He clicked his tongue at the splendor that filled the room.

 

“Good heavens, isn’t this too excessive? You said you were already annoyed by those penny-pinchers picking fights every other day.”

 

Even at his voice filled with amazement, Natasha let out a light, mocking laugh.

 

“Fool, you still don’t understand how the world works after seeing all this? You’re still far from it.”

 

She approached the mirror with a new dress. She held it against her body and fluttered it this way and that, spreading out the layers of chiffon. Finally satisfied, a pleased smile appeared on her lips.

 

“I like crinolines and voluminous dresses. You can hide so much with them.”

 

Of course, it wasn’t just the dress she had to choose. For proper social activities, perfect preparation was essential. Maintaining dignity as the new mistress of Evergale was natural. And it wouldn’t hurt to catch a whiff of money while she was at it.

 

The chosen dress was hung on a hanger. Now Natasha’s interest turned to the dressing table. Various accessories were neatly arranged in open velvet cases.

 

“What would go well with this? Sapphire, I suppose? No, would opal be better?”

 

Her hand, wearing delicate lace gloves, moved over the cases like playing piano keys. Selecting one, Natasha gestured for the man to come closer.

 

When he stood right behind her, Natasha handed him the necklace and used both hands to gather up her hair. The man moved his hands with a light sigh. Soon a pearl necklace settled on her exposed nape.

 

Very pleased with this too, Natasha hummed along to the melody. Then she lightly tossed the matching earrings. The man standing beside her caught them readily.

 

“You take them. Do whatever you want—give them as a gift or sell them.”

 

“Such boundless grace, thank you.”

 

The lustrous pearls quickly disappeared into the man’s pocket. While he examined other items, Natasha finally chose a perfume.

 

Tilting her neck to spray the citrus scent, her finally perfected appearance was reflected in the large arched mirror. Natasha turned around and asked.

 

“How do I look right now?”

 

“Ah, beautiful?”

 

The man answered perfunctorily without even looking. An ivory elephant sculpture that had been sneaking into his pocket dropped to the floor with a thud.

 

Instead of questioning the theft, Natasha spun around in a circle to show herself.

 

“Then what do I look like I’m about to do?”

 

The dress flowed in elegant curves like waves. It was even more voluminous with the layered petticoat decorated with gorgeous floral embroidery. The man returned the ivory sculpture to its place while tilting his head.

 

“Attend a ball?”

 

“What else might I do?”

 

“Chat at a tea party? Shopping? Poker? Ugh, how would I know what women do for fun?”

 

Natasha stretched her lips mysteriously, as if none of those were correct, or as if all of them were.

 

“You just said ‘for fun.’ Looking at me right now, you can only think of having fun.”

 

“No, that’s not what I meant…”

 

“That’s exactly what I need.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

The tension in the man’s shoulders completely relaxed. He had expected to be scolded. Natasha smiled innocently like a naive aristocratic young lady.

 

“This way, everyone suspects me less. The more I indulge in luxury, the more I seek pretty, flashy jewelry, the more I look like nothing but a money-obsessed, stupid blonde woman. Could there be a better shield for me right now?”

 

The man’s mouth fell half open in realization. He clapped his hands with a light exclamation.

 

“As expected. I understand why ‘that person’ has been with you all this time.”

 

“…Really?”

 

The smile that had been as smooth as unreadable ice briefly wavered. To hide it, Natasha turned around, pretending to fix her hair. It was something that must never be discovered.

 

‘…Sometimes I wish it were for a different reason.’

 

She could barely harbor this thought in her heart, not daring to speak it aloud. As if it were a wish deserving divine punishment, fierce thunder crashed at that very moment.

 

“What a surprise.”

 

The man turned his gaze toward the window, commenting on how noisy it was. The rain, which he had thought couldn’t get any heavier, pounded against the window as if to break it.

 

Seeing this, the man suddenly remembered something and asked Natasha.

 

“By the way, what do you think that woman is doing right now? The former Grand Duchess. After being accustomed to a greenhouse flower lifestyle, returning to the harsh reality isn’t exactly easy.”

 

A greenhouse flower. Natasha let out a light snicker.

 

“Does this place look like a greenhouse to you?”

 

The man looked around Natasha’s room, filled with glittering things and utterly warm. He spread his arms and shrugged his shoulders as he asked back.

 

“Doesn’t it?”

 

“Well… I suppose.”

 

When you first step into a greenhouse, the first thing you think of is how suffocating it is due to the temperature difference.

 

Without adding more words, thunder sounded once more. Natasha approached and stood in front of the window.

 

While she gazed into the pitch-black darkness, the man prepared to leave. Having finished his preparations, he continued his earlier question with a reluctant expression.

 

“Since she hasn’t appeared until now… could she possibly be dead?”

 

“Quite the opposite. Whether she didn’t experience the collapse contrary to expectations, or experienced it and rose again. She’ll be alive.”

 

Natasha gave her answer without a moment’s hesitation. The man’s puzzlement deepened.

 

“Why are you so certain?”

 

“That woman’s stubbornness could be called foolish, but I don’t want to underestimate her. Do you know what’s harder than dying?”

 

“Well, I’ve never even considered dying, so I wouldn’t know.”

 

“Enduring. Continuing right until the moment before death.”

 

Today especially, she only spoke incomprehensible words. The man couldn’t understand even what Natasha muttered next.

 

“That woman is strong. As much as she is stubborn.”

 

****

 

“Final confirmation of areas 4 and 5 completed! All clear!”

 

“Delfin district is also safe!”

 

Thanks to everyone moving efficiently without confusion, the situation was steadily being restored.

 

Now only the Harrin district remained. The lowest-lying area in Dairon, where Lord Garta’s presence was barely known.

 

Helena’s steps quickened as she worried about the direct impact of the typhoon damage.

 

“I’ll gather the injured and check if everyone has evacuated to the square. You go with Sakin and check if anything is blocking the drainage channels.”

 

Ian caught Helena as she turned away with several workers.

 

He took off his coat and wrapped it around Helena. Then he brushed away the red hair that was soaked and stuck to her forehead as he spoke.

 

“Be careful. If anything happens to you, I don’t think I could bear it.”

 

“…That sounds like something I should be saying.”

 

“Are you worried about me?”

 

“Did you really think I was such a witch that I wouldn’t worry about someone running to more dangerous places without even a coat?”

 

“You know Lily was just joking.”

 

Helena bit her lower lip slightly. The resentment from the past few days, which had been buried under the urgent situation, came back to her.

 

At the same time, she wanted to reconcile and become close again. Such feelings rose like smoke before leaping out of a chimney.

 

However, the fierce rain struck her cheek, awakening her mind from complacent thoughts.

 

“Move quickly! The oil is almost gone!”

 

From the group that had already moved ten steps ahead, several lanterns could be seen flickering and going out. There was no luxury to be entangled in trivial emotions.

 

Helena pulled up the sleeves so her hands could emerge from the coat. It was too big for her body, so she had to fold the collar. While doing so, she signaled to Ian with her eyes that they had to part.

 

He reluctantly nodded briefly in response.

 

“You said it yourself. Storms don’t linger.”

 

“……”

 

“Let’s meet after the storm has passed.”

 

Ian turned to follow Sakin, who was urging him from afar.

 

Helena didn’t leave immediately but sniffled once for no reason. From the large garment came his scent mixed with rainwater.

 

It was just ordinary fabric. But the things he left behind were always reassuring. Whether it was the expressions he made for her, the voice he conveyed, or the warmth of his touch.

 

Helena headed toward the square, clutching the coat tightly as if it were a shield to protect her.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *