ERTHMB Chapter 82

Perfect Salvation

Eugene let out a distorted breath.

“Now I understand. How foolish I was to worry about you.”

The roughly twisted stem of his words was like a whip. Though her skin stung from receiving it head-on, Helena replied as calmly as possible.

“I never asked you to.”

Then Eugene struck with his whip again and again.

“Even your attempt to die was just an act, wasn’t it? Knowing that man was nearby, you wanted to become an object of pity.”

“You…!”

Helena started to say something but then pressed her lips tightly shut. Though the hot lump of emotion burned her throat, she didn’t pour it out on Eugene until the end.

Because she had already realized it. That to him, neither affirmation nor denial mattered. He just wanted to dig into her and tear her apart.

So she just threw it back at him.

“You’re right. That’s why I left you. And I’ll never go back. You need a perfect Grand Duchess, and I can never be that person!”

“Helena!”

“You’re right. It’s stubborn to blame everything on you. But Eugene, sometimes circumstances make you abandon love. You were my everything, but I wasn’t yours.”

“It’s madness to see a person as everything!”

Madness. Yes, it was complete madness.

Perfect salvation cannot exist. It shouldn’t exist. Salvation is like a force exchanged at equal value—someone must become unhappy.

But the one who pushed me into that unhappiness…

You were the one who started it first.

Helena summoned back the cynicism from moments before.

“Why, like your past self who was mad?”

At that time, Eugene had spoken in a worn, battered, tattered state. That he wanted to live. That she should hold him tight until he burst.

I read those desperately arrogant eyes, and look what became of it all.

“……”

Eugene fell silent for a moment. It seemed he did remember how he looked when they first met in Hyer.

Helena stared directly into his clouded golden eyes.

“So I’m trying to set things right now. I’m finally finding my own life.”

“Your… life?”

Eugene mechanically repeated Helena’s words. Light was gradually returning to his previously unfocused pupils.

Helena spoke at a pace slow enough for him to understand.

“So you should accept it too. Even if I hadn’t left, would you have continued to love me? Would you have held onto me like this?”

“…That’s a baseless assumption, Helena.”

“No. You wouldn’t have. You just don’t want to lose what you’re holding onto.”

“I told you not to judge on your own.”

“You’re the one who shouldn’t love selfishly. Don’t calculate either. If you’re going to give, give everything; if you’re going to abandon, abandon everything. Don’t toy with people, going back and forth.”

The sound of a horse’s neigh came from the distance. Using that as a signal, Helena stepped back from Eugene as if leaving a farewell.

“But you probably can’t do that. That’s why I have no choice but to choose that man’s side instead of yours.”

The vibration of hoofbeats striking the ground grew closer. Eugene reached out to grab Helena. But Helena pushing his shoulder away was faster.

“That person does what you cannot do.”

It was an absurdly weak force. Yet Eugene was pushed back with dragging steps.

In that gap, Ian, who had been galloping without reducing speed, swept Helena up and lifted her onto the saddle.

“Helena!”

Eugene immediately chased after them as if he could catch up to a horse with human legs.

Helena didn’t look back. She squeezed her eyes shut while gripping Ian’s embrace like the last salvation of a world about to perish.

“Helena!”

Eugene shouted again. At that moment, Ian pulled the reins sharply. The suddenly stopped horse reared up on its hind legs with rough snorting.

Soon the distance narrowed with Eugene, who had run until he was breathless. When only about ten steps remained, Ian turned only the horse’s head to face him.

“I told you.”

He embraced Helena’s back with one arm. Her small body fit snugly against his sturdy chest. An equally resolute voice followed.

“That I would find her myself.”

Eugene’s expression, cracked mercilessly, came back as reward.

Without properly receiving even that, Ian spurred his horse again.

****

‘Eugene is… there.’

Helena felt strange.

The man she had loved so dearly was being left behind. She had always thought she was the one being left behind.

The horse, which had been galloping roughly enough to raise dust, gradually slowed down. Eugene was no longer visible even as a small dot.

Only then did Helena finally lift her head from within the embrace.

A faint floral scent tickled her nose. Following the fragrance, she found Ian’s hand wrapped around her waist. Cute yellow petals were fluttering in the wind.

It was a marigold bouquet, crushed to death from being gripped too tightly. Helena stared at it and spoke.

“Have you… met Eugene before?”

The answer came only after the wind carrying silence brushed the horse’s ears three or four times.

“…Yes.”

“How?”

“I went to find him directly. Following your traces.”

“Then you knew I was Eugene’s wife too.”

“I came looking for Helena Owen.”

The explanation ended there. He said no more. That was enough, so Helena didn’t pry further.

But she asked about something else.

“What about those flowers?”

Ah, as if just remembering, Ian’s expression became awkward. He held out the wilted bouquet with hesitant hands.

“They were blooming prettily by the roadside… they reminded me of you.”

“Did you know I like them?”

“How could I not know? You’re the one who made me like these flowers too.”

“…In that ‘past’ that I can’t remember?”

He was precious again.

Because he held onto a past she couldn’t remember like that, he himself became precious.

Helena couldn’t bring herself to accept the flowers. So Ian gently touched the top of Helena’s head with the marigolds. The drooping petals bounced lightly and softly.

“You like them now too. That’s enough.”

“…I was told not to hit people even with flowers.”

“I’m petting you. Grow well.”

The bouquet was finally pressed into Helena’s hands. One stem had its bloom picked off and tucked behind her ear.

It was a delicate movement that didn’t match his rough hands. The moment his coarse fingertips left her earlobe, a fragment of the past flashed through Helena’s mind.

[Do you know what the flower language of this is?]

[Tell me, sister.]

[Happiness will surely come.]

It was a fragment with a scent as humble but precious as marigolds.

My childhood self spoke so boldly of happiness. While she was quietly reflecting on the afterimage, a hand was placed on the back of her head.

Ian gently embraced the back of Helena’s head and pulled her inward, saying,

“Get some sleep. When you wake up, we’ll have arrived.”

Helena looked down blankly at the small happiness staining her palm. Then she leaned her forehead against Ian’s shoulder again.

It had been a tiring day. She needed a gentle, steady heartbeat.

Helena closed her eyes while listening to Ian’s heartbeat as if it were her own.

****

“I will never forget this humiliation.”

The man hoisted on the shoulders of a large fellow declared quite dramatically.

This was the resolution of Dion Cedrick, the first aide to the Western Empire’s Emperor and the self-made icon of the Cedrick Count family… or rather, former icon.

“I’ll pass it down through generations, making them repay it for a lifetime.”

Despite the grandiose tone, his two legs dangling in the air swayed cutely.

Finding this bothersome, Samte, who was carrying him, tightened his massive forearms to keep the legs from moving.

Then Odyssey, who had been accompanying them, clenched his fist and passionately exclaimed,

“Then you should start with consistent physical training, Sir Cedrick! You’re so weak after just staying up for two nights and wandering around… With stamina like this, it would be difficult even to have descendants to pass things down to!”

“What, what? You, you…!”

Dion’s face turned red like a freshly baked root vegetable. It was even more so because it was an answer from a completely unexpected person.

That blockhead wouldn’t have looked up such knowledge on his own. It must be because of Elai’s questionable education.

‘That guy who calls himself the 1st Division Commander, corrupting an innocent youngest knight.’

Even now, if he were nearby, instead of lecturing, he would have handed over a bottle of whiskey saying he’d finally become an adult.

That man is a demon, a demon.

Dion bitterly spat out words he couldn’t say to his face.

Just as he was about to mention last year’s ‘Lemon Frog Humiliation Incident in Front of a Marriage Prospect,’ Samte began taking long strides. His words were increasingly interrupted as his body swayed greatly with the suddenly increased pace.

As he lifted his constantly bobbing head, he could see Eden, who had gone ahead to check the route, coming back.

Dion swallowed what could have been ten volumes worth of criticism and asked,

“Is that the right way, Eden?”

Hearing the voice, Eden stopped without walking further.

He pointed in a direction with his rolled-up map, then began walking back the way they came. The three men followed him with quick steps.

When they had almost reached Eden’s proximity, Odyssey looked up at Samte’s shoulders.

“But Sir Dion. Why Dairon of all the many villages? You hate dangerous things.”

“That’s exactly why we’re going, Odyssey.”

“Huh?”

The young knight’s lively eyes widened round. Dion sighed in resignation and crossed his arms on Samte’s back.

“Don’t I know that man? Dairon is the forest where magical beasts swarm the most. A guy who prefers cutting to eating meat—where else would he go but there?”

He grumbled as if he had nothing left to hope for.

“Elai always chases danger, and His Majesty was always by that bastard’s side. So we’re going to grab onto a protruding thread and follow it once.”

****

Helena returned to Partren with dragging steps. The wilted bouquet, matching her mood, was damp in her palm.

She wanted to focus on the past memory that had surfaced after so long, but there was something troubling her even more.

[Come back now, Helena.]

How on earth did he get here? Could he really have found me? That man, Eugene… me?

Helena walked fumbling along the path her feet remembered. She tried to erase her thoughts, but if it were easy, she wouldn’t be walking around so absent-mindedly.

Fortunately, what awakened her from her muddled thoughts was the commotion heard near her lodging.