It’s Okay to Forget
Sharti was urging her drooping steps onward as she retraced her path. However, the journey back to the cave through the torrential rain was treacherous beyond measure.
Her slender body kept slipping in the mud and was often pushed over by the downpour.
‘That was close.’
Sharti forced strength into her legs while trying to endure the pain in her palm, bruised from striking a stone. There wasn’t a part of her that wasn’t soaked, not a part that wasn’t trembling.
The umbrella she had boldly brought out was no different from a mere leaf in the pouring rain.
‘At least I’m fortunate to have found all the ingredients.’
She could only call it lucky. She had found the herbs she wanted each time she fell and was swept away.
Sharti trudged upward with difficulty, thinking of the herbs carefully tucked in her bosom.
Though her right leg throbbed, thanks to being carried by Ren all this time, this much strain was manageable.
Achoo.
The winter downpour was cold to the bone.
As a result, her robe froze stiff while wet, and her mind jolted awake each time the hood touched her cheek.
‘At this rate, we’re both definitely going to fall ill tomorrow.’
Sharti, who sniffled quietly, desperately needed warmth.
She had left the heat-emitting mana stone in the sleeping Ren’s hand.
A warm mana stone seemed better than cold hands to keep Ren’s slumber comfortable. Above all, she hoped Ren wouldn’t notice her absence and be startled.
‘I wonder if he’s awake by now.’
Ren had built up an immunity to sleeping medication, and she had also adjusted the amount of sleeping powder used this time, so Ren might have woken up by the time she arrived at the cave.
‘He might come out looking for me, so let’s hurry back.’
If you really looked at it, Ren was more disobedient than Tein. And yet, Ren nagged more severely than Vireta. Ren was also a step above Virena in making logical rebuttals that left you speechless.
How such a Ren had decided to pretend to be a slave was something she understood yet didn’t.
Thinking of Ren made a smile leak out.
“Oof!”
While lost in other thoughts, a fiercely blowing wind made Sharti sway greatly.
Fortunately, she grabbed onto a nearby tree and didn’t fall.
Sharti listened to her shrunken heart pounding and carefully moved forward again.
‘I can see it!’
Finally, she had finished her long and arduous outing and arrived at the cave.
As she entered the cave, she was freed from the rain that had been beating down on her entire body.
‘I want to sit down first.’
The moment she smelled the damp air of the cave, Sharti wanted to immediately take off her heavy robe, but her body was so exhausted she could barely move a finger.
Sharti looked around the inside of the cave sluggishly.
“Ren?”
The mana stone she had definitely given to Ren should have been glowing while emitting heat, but no light was visible in the darkness. The mana stone that hadn’t even been used for a few days couldn’t have broken or reached the end of its lifespan.
It was when Sharti took a step forward, thinking something was strange.
……Hah, urk, ugh……. Uh, hah…… Urk,
Goosebumps rose on her arms at the rough moans echoing throughout the cave.
Sharti hesitated. When she held her breath as much as possible and narrowed her eyes, she could see a figure in the darkness at the back of the cave.
“……Ren?”
The large figure curled up and sprawled on the ground was definitely Ren.
Sharti rushed toward him urgently.
“Urk!”
But at the same time, Ren swung his arm, startling Sharti and causing her to fall backward.
For a moment, Sharti’s face turned pale at the threatening attack.
Without taking her eyes off Ren, Sharti groped the ground and stood up fumblingly. Instinctively, danger signals rang out.
However, Sharti’s feet didn’t budge.
“Urk, uuurk……. Urk, kheurk…….”
Crack. Ren was writhing in agony, continuously hitting and smashing his fist or body against the ground and walls, self-harming.
As if he had lost his reason, it wasn’t normal.
‘A seizure?’
Sharti also had seizures whenever she saw fire due to her fire trauma, but she didn’t injure herself as severely as Ren was doing. At most, she would scream and have severe convulsions.
‘……Mania.’
Dry saliva was swallowed at the illness that fleetingly came to mind.
Sharti rolled her eyes looking for her bag. She needed to at least sprinkle sleeping powder or anesthetic powder to stop Ren’s self-harm first.
‘Where did I put it?’
Between the stuffiness of the hood damp with rain, the fishy smell of blood wafted through.
The moment the urgent Sharti snatched up the bag as soon as she found it, Ren reacted to the presence heard nearby.
Thud—!
“Hnngh……!”
A droplet, whether rainwater or cold sweat, dripped down along her jawline.
Her heart pounded. Sharti swallowed her breath with trembling eyes.
In the blink of an eye, the ground where Sharti had just been standing was dented by Ren’s single punch as he rushed at her. It was obvious what would have happened if she hadn’t stepped back from the momentum of snatching the bag.
‘It’s not Ren, but exactly……’
Like that man I met in the cave.
The unfocused teal eyes reminded her of the man who had been cornered at the edge of a cliff.
Swoooosh—.
The moment the sound of rain was heard strongly, Ren flinched.
“……!”
Sharti didn’t miss the opening and hurriedly fled outside the cave.
Ren immediately followed her sudden action, but because Sharti threw her body outside as if falling, she could avoid his hand. Her robe became a mess as it rolled in the mud.
“Ungh…….”
Sharti turned her head slightly while enduring the pain applied to her entire body.
“Uh……, uuuurk…….”
Ren couldn’t take even one step outside the cave.
Whether he was afraid of the pouring rain, he kept letting out short moans and frowning.
He was afraid of the rain.
‘Come to think of it, when we first met, there was a typhoon with heavy rain too.’
From right after he fainted, Ren had groaned continuously.
It wasn’t because of poison or injury. It wasn’t because of nightmares either.
He had suffered because he was afraid of the sound of rain echoing in the cave.
“Hauuk, uh…… keurk……!”
Bang! Ren clutched his head and struck the wall hard with his fist.
If left like this, the cave with ground weakened by the downpour might collapse.
Sharti rummaged through her bag and pulled out a pouch of sleeping powder.
‘There’s one left.’
Sharti roughly wiped away the rainwater seeping into her hood and gauged her distance from Ren.
Because of the rain, she couldn’t guarantee she could hit him even if she threw it.
Sharti’s heart burned with anxiety as she watched the precarious Ren.
Sharti’s eyes caught sight of her robe sleeves as she looked down at the small pouch gripped tightly in her hand.
‘Perhaps……’
Sharti looked at Ren with tense eyes.
Though Ren was afraid of the rain, he kept his eyes on Sharti.
Wariness, or anger—. Beyond hostility, murderous intent surged.
‘Ren feels murderous intent toward me?’
That can’t be.
Without avoiding Ren’s eyes, Sharti slowly placed her hand on the robe buttons.
Taking a deep breath and steeling her resolve one last time, Sharti touched the silver ring on her finger, the magical tool.
‘……I can’t interfere with Ren’s facial recognition right now.‘
Sharti removed the silver ring.
And before her resolve could waver, Sharti took off her robe. She also removed the hood that had been full of stuffiness.
“……!”
Flinch. The pain that had filled Ren’s face stopped for a moment.
With his eyes fixed on Sharti’s face, Ren literally froze.
At the positive reaction, Sharti clenched her fist and stepped toward Ren.
‘Slowly, without startling him…….’
The contorted muscles gradually relaxed as Sharti drew closer. Watching his rigid body continuously flinch, Sharti kept approaching Ren.
Sharti’s lips twitched as she wanted to call his name right away.
‘I need to call louder than the rain.’
Being careful of the frog’s croaking sound so Ren wouldn’t be frightened, Sharti calmed her pounding heart with her breathing.
Sharti extended both arms toward Ren.
“Ren—!”
“……!”
The eyes that had been blurred without focus gradually regained their light.
“I, I can’t move!”
Though there must have been gentler words, the moment she saw the teal eyes with a tinge of color, she choked up and a random complaint burst out.
Sharti bit her lip as if feeling wronged.
“Can’t Ren come here and take me?!”
“…….”
Ren’s lips trembled.
Then, the moment she thought “oops,” Sharti shook her head earnestly.
“Come here and take me, Ren!”
Ren moved.
For the first time, rain streamed down his feet, arms, and face.
With a dazed expression, Ren moved solely toward Sharti and slowly raised his arms.
Sharti smiled at Ren, who looked like he was about to collapse.
“Ren!”
“……!”
The large body collapsed and was caught in Sharti’s arms.
Sharti wrapped her arms tightly around Ren’s neck. Ren, held in the small, slender embrace, trembled and clung to Sharti as if hanging onto her body.
His still rough breathing indicated his unstable mental state.
Sharti whispered softly in the rain while being held by Ren, who reeked of blood.
She conveyed her feelings quietly and affectionately so he wouldn’t be startled.
“Thank you, Ren. And…….”
Sharti whispered in Ren’s ear, hoping he would focus on this small voice rather than the sound of the rain.
“—I like you, Ren.”
Swoooooosh—.
“My feelings of liking Ren may not be greater than Ren’s feelings of liking me, but still, there’s one thing I can promise you.”
“…….”
“I will never be the first to let go of Ren’s hand.”
The rain pouring down fiercely was painful.
That’s why he came to his senses.
In the memories Ren had forgotten, he had never been happy.
He must have been someone who lived with threats rather than happiness by his side.
He was surely a lonely person, for whom an expressionless face was more natural than a smiling one.
[Can I research this poison?]
Because of one suspicion that it might be related to Ren, Sharti had received the purple poisonous herb.
She wasn’t confident how long she could remain ignorant of Ren’s secrets, given that he had a background significant enough for the Tower Master to step in.
However, the moment she faced Ren’s vulnerability, mentally collapsed and in shambles, everything became futile.
“Forget everything, Ren. It’s okay to forget.”
Don’t remember.
Don’t keep anywhere those memories that made you hurt like this.
“I’m a doctor, so I can take care of painful memories too, so just don’t remember anything and stay by my side like this.”
Ren’s eyes, which had been held in Sharti’s embrace, slowly closed.
The rain that fell on his eyelids became thick tears and flowed down.
Sharti kept whispering to the unconscious Ren until the rain weakened.
“I’ll protect you. I’ll protect Ren. So, you can rest assured…….”
****
At dawn after the downpour passed, Sharti literally collapsed.
Because she had only been falling for half a day, her arms and legs already had no sensation.
‘It’s, it’s hard……’
Moreover, because Ren lost consciousness and fell asleep in that state, she had exhausted all her energy dragging him to the cave. In the midst of that, she even made medicine for body aches and colds, so even opening and closing her eyes was difficult.
Still, it was a relief that she had forced herself to take the medicine.
It was natural that she couldn’t change out of the clothes soaked through with rain.
‘What a mess.’
Her hair, face, clothes, and body were dirty and unpleasant with mud.
Sharti let out a long sigh. Then she moved her stiff neck to check on Ren.
Ren’s condition was not much different from Sharti’s. Moreover, because the wounds Ren had inflicted on himself were quite severe, bandages and band-aids were wrapped here and there on his body.
The image of Ren suffering from mania still lingered.
‘What should I explain to Ren……’
Will he remember…….
In her fading consciousness, Sharti thought blankly.
Will he remember…… that I confessed……?
Sharti couldn’t stop her heavy eyelids and was consumed by sleep just like that.