Everything of Mine is All Yours

Julian’s golden pupils dilated wide before soon disappearing beneath his eyelids.

Even as she felt the dizzying sensation of hot breaths mixing and the entire world flickering, Sabrina felt sorrowful thinking that he wouldn’t be feeling the same sensations she was.

“Nothing changes.”

The more sorrowful she felt, the lighter and sweeter her words became. No answer came back except for the rough breathing following her words that spilled out like a confession.

“I didn’t throw my first time at you. I simply shared my first time with the most accomplished man among those I know.”

“……”

“Tonight, I’d like to share my second time with you as well—what do you say?”

At her audacious question, Julian’s face twisted as if in agony.

She would break off the engagement with him as soon as Ricardo became emperor. In truth, that decision had already been made even before she went to get engaged to him. So Sabrina decided to think simply, as usual.

She didn’t want to spend all her time with him on a sharp edge.

It was fortunate in many ways to be able to make the man she loved hers, even for just a brief moment.

When had she ever lived planning and dreaming of the future? In this moment, if he wanted her, that was enough.

“Do you dislike it?”

At her repeated question, instead of answering, Julian lifted her waist and seated her on his lap. The man’s eyes she looked down at from above were reddened.

When Sabrina pressed her lips to the corners of his eyes, a deep breath escaped from Julian’s mouth.

The hot night of a man without sincerity was beginning again.

****

Before I even knew how the wedding ceremony proceeded, it was finished, and I waited silently for Ricardo in the bridal chamber.

His room, brightly lit and not dark, had transformed overnight as if by magic into a marital bedroom.

The walls that had given off an antique feeling now hung with tapestries exuding a gentle atmosphere, and the floor that had seemed pitch black in the dark night was now covered with a soft white wool carpet.

Just by draping the bed with flowing fabric, the room’s atmosphere had completely changed.

Too awkward about the deliberately decorated room, I couldn’t even sit on the bed and wandered here and there. Then, suddenly discovering myself in a mirror placed in one corner, I hurried back to the bed.

The indoor dress I wore, though formally dressed, had no decorations and glowed translucently in the moonlight. Even though it wasn’t a design where everything inside could be seen through, I had nowhere to look and blushed with embarrassment.

As my heart grew noisy with rustling thoughts and I let out a sigh, I heard signs of presence from outside, and soon Ricardo appeared.

Though I had prepared myself sufficiently, the moment I saw him, my heart raced uncontrollably. Enough to make me think I might die.

I wanted to see what expression he wore, but the light didn’t reach up to the face of the tall man.

Swoosh—in the quiet room, I heard the sound of Ricardo drawing back the bed canopy, and immediately met eyes as black as the night sky.

He bent toward me as he was. Stopping right before my nose, he looked directly into my eyes until the very last moment, confirming.

Before I could even reflect on what my eyes had said to Ricardo, hot breath touched my cheek. My eyes immediately squeezed shut of their own accord.

Ricardo’s lips immediately slid along my cheek, heading for my exposed nape. Just as a hot hand seemed to support the back of my neck, his lips pressed against my pulsing nape.

The movement that had been lightly touching soon deepened.

At the gentle touch caressing my bare shoulders, my mind grew hazy as if intoxicated.

Every place his fingertips touched trembled and flinched.

“Lienne.”

Each time he called my name, my heart crumbled.

“Lienne.”

As his scratchy, thick voice rang in my ear, my whole body tensed without me realizing it. ‘Lienne, Lienne.’ It was a word like magic that stopped me without fail, not even once.

Sometimes the ground beneath my feet collapsed, and on other days the sky turned pitch black.

“I’m going crazy every time you call my name.”

At my first rambling confession, uttered without knowing shame, his actions stopped for an instant. Then soon he moved hotly. Picking up my hair that had fallen over my shoulders and kissing it, he whispered low.

“Your hair is like moonlight.”

Though it was an embarrassing thing to say, there was no time now to let such words make my heart noisy.

“Your eyes are like the sea, so when I look at them, I feel like I’ll surely fall in and drown.”

Having driven me to the middle of the bed, he removed the robe he was wearing in one swift motion. Flawlessly perfect muscles created shadows beneath the moonlight.

I reached out my arm as if entranced and caressed his body. He who had entrusted his body to me for a moment grasped my hand and pulled it up to his chest.

As his heart was placed beneath my hand, thump thump thump thump, it made a clamorous sound and dizzied my mind. The vividly beating pulse that felt like it could be grasped if I squeezed resonated through my arm all the way to my heart.

“Ayphnetis……”

Looking at his devastatingly beautiful body, I unconsciously spoke aloud the word that intuitively came to mind. And for good reason, since the only male nude I had seen was the statue of Ayphnetis.

“What?”

When I reflexively raised my eyes at his voice, a clearly displeased gaze pierced down at me.

“Hm?”

“Even if he’s not a real person, hearing another man’s name in the bedroom is unpleasant……”

“I, I didn’t mean to.”

“And it’s the man you confessed you might like.”

“That’s not what I meant……”

When I hurriedly added words like an excuse, he laughed loudly. It was the kind of laughter that shattered in one go the awkward and stiff current flowing between the two of us.

Ricardo pulled me tightly into his embrace. My whole heart filled with the pleasant sense of restraint his firm body provided.

I whispered while caressing with my fingers the bones protruding on his bare back.

“I want to see the paintings again.”

“Paintings? What paintings? You don’t mean portraits of Ayphnetis?”

I smacked his back hard enough to make a sound and muttered again.

“The paintings of me that you drew so many of, hidden in that room.”

In an instant my view flipped. Having somehow taken position above him, I was captivated by his pitch-black eyes looking up at me.

“That can wait until a little later. The door is always open, and everything of mine is all yours.”

After that, he pressed forward uncontrollably urgently. As time passed, sensations I couldn’t handle swept over me.

Like being intoxicated, I could do nothing but flutter here and there mindlessly as he shook me. I couldn’t move a muscle as if even each finger wasn’t my own.

Through the half-drawn curtain, the night sky could be seen far away. As the clouds parted, the moon appeared in the dark night sky, sparkling like a jewel.

Everything filling my vision unfolded like a single painting.

The sheets crumpling in my hands, overwhelmed by sensation, the man who examined every part of me without once averting his eyes, those moments when we became completely one—it was all so beautiful that tears came.

When he licked up the corners of my eyes, a suppressed breath burst out.

I love you.

The words uttered from the heart were conveyed to each other without fail.

Firmly grasping me as I kept being pushed back with his large hand, he raised the momentum even more urgently.

Though I tossed and turned as if I couldn’t breathe, I had no thought of stopping Ricardo’s movements.

How could I explain this feeling that grew more desperate the more we touched?

Even when pain arose, I was anxious he might move away. I was curious what expression Ricardo wore, but I had no capacity left to observe him.

As our eyes met and my lips parted of their own accord, he inhaled my breath as if filling the gap.

The night deepened while I sobbed, unable to even think of focusing my constantly blurring vision.

The hot movements toward each other continued until the moonlight grew dim in the distance and the sky’s light changed color, emitting a blue-tinged energy.

****

At dawn, I sensed Ricardo leaving but my eyelids wouldn’t rise.

Though I knew he was carefully kissing all over my face, whispering his love, and stroking my hair, I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes and see him off.

I didn’t want to send him off with tears.

I also had no confidence to put on an indifferent face while knowing he was going down a dangerous path.

After he left the room, I slowly got up, put on a robe, and approached the window.

Ricardo’s knights were already lined up waiting for him. Though they weren’t going to a battlefield, they emanated a fierce momentum as if they would wage war at any moment.

Though no one was watching, I unconsciously held my breath and waited, and the man who looked more perfect than ever appeared in the garden.

“Ricardo.”

When I called his name softly, as if answering, Ricardo swiftly looked up at the window where I stood.

Not wanting to show my disheveled appearance, I hid my body slightly behind the window frame and stretched my neck out long to show him a smile.

Though tears welled up from not wanting to send him away, probably only my smiling face would be visible to him.

Ricardo moved quickly to finish preparations to depart with his knights.

I watched from afar, not missing a single moment of him giving instructions, and sketched his form with my hand.

“Soon, we can meet again.”