IDIBC Chapter 37

What Did Walter Do?

“What did Walter do?”

His voice was so cold that I flinched involuntarily, my body trembling.

“No, I don’t mean he did anything. It’s just that I disappeared with him while holding that flower, so he asked me to tell him my family name, saying I need to handle the situation.”

“…….”

“Since he doesn’t remember, he didn’t know why I was there either. And he said he had no intention of taking me in as a lover or mistress…”

Even as I continued explaining, his cold demeanor showed no signs of softening. Wasn’t he the one who always acted indifferent, as if nothing interested him? Yet I couldn’t understand why he’d been acting as if he was about to start a war since earlier.

“He seemed quite troubled too. You saw it yourself right in front of you—it really was just a coincidence.”

Ricardo seemed to recall the events at the ball and barely managed to soften his intensity.

Silence fell again. The sound of rain, heavier than before, filled the silence between us.

Ricardo and I said nothing, but he showed no sign of retracting his gaze that stared at me relentlessly. He looked me over like a predator pondering which part of the deer crushed beneath its feet to devour first.

All without showing the slightest emotion toward the deer.

I didn’t even want to think about how I must look in his jet-black eyes, trembling before him.

“So what did the Duchess ask you to deliver?”

“That’s…”

I pressed my lips tightly shut, unable to force the words out. How could I say it? The item I had to give him—

“A handkerchief, right? With the family crest embroidered on it.”

“You knew?”

“From the moment you appeared, though it was only a guess.”

Somehow I felt completely deflated. Today had been that kind of day for me. A series of unfair events. Still, should I be grateful I didn’t hand over the handkerchief in front of all those people?

“We’re on our way to Count Enehaz’s estate now.”

“For… what reason?”

Finding myself searching for meaning in his words had become a familiar habit by now. Especially these days, when I was living off the scraps of kindness Ricardo tossed out so casually.

Liking someone was truly such an absurd thing.

Losing myself. Knowing this about myself yet being helpless to change it.

Was it because I was certain to be hurt no matter what conclusion he reached? I looked utterly pathetic, cowering in fear and simply awaiting my sentence.

“Do you know what that handkerchief means?”

“I… vaguely think I might know?”

Ricardo laughed as if incredulous. Yet even so, I found myself wanting to lean on that laugh—a sign of my current desperation.

“To be precise, coming to me with that handkerchief means you’re my woman.”

I knew that much, so I nodded obediently.

“And that it’s sanctioned by the family.”

“I guessed that much too.”

“And it also means you’re giving me your night.”

“What?”

“That’s what it means. That’s why we’re going back to Enehaz now.”

Ha, I was so dumbfounded I was speechless. My unfair day apparently wasn’t over yet.

“To receive your night.”

Choked up by his emotionless voice, I glared pointlessly out the window. Though it wasn’t Ricardo’s fault, resentment kept rising, probably because his expression was too calm. Outside, rain poured endlessly, and he continued mercilessly.

“Of course, if you hadn’t disappeared with Walter, this custom wouldn’t have been necessary.”

“…….”

“We erased the memories of those who saw you two merge and vanish like smoke, but we can’t stop the rumors that you left the ball together. There’s such a thing as circumstantial evidence. There are limits to distorting memories, and Walter is quite a famous figure, and also…”

Also? What? As he trailed off, even the sound of rain beating against the carriage as if to destroy it became inaudible.

“You attracted too much attention.”

Well, the atmosphere was like that then. A woman had been rushing toward Duke Chaplin, and I had collided with him, screaming quite loudly.

As I nodded, Ricardo crossed his arms and stretched his body. He tilted his head back slightly and looked down at me, his eyes filled with coldness.

According to him, I had to return to the ballroom. To avoid embroiling both ducal houses in an unprecedented scandal.

“I’ve caused you trouble.”

“Always, somewhat. But today isn’t entirely like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was planning to announce it today anyway.”

“Announce what?”

“That we’re engaged.”

“We’re… engaged…?”

“Yes.”

“We are?”

As Ricardo nodded, I covered my mouth. I couldn’t be sure what expression I was making.

I couldn’t tell if I was feeling doubt about taking the fiancée position of a man who had another woman, relief that I could live safely for the time being, or simply wanting to flee from this very spot—even I couldn’t sort out my own feelings.

Watching my expression, his eyes lit up with interest.

“Unbelievable.”

“Wh-what is?”

“That’s not the reaction I’d expect from the woman who burst into my room not long ago begging me to get engaged.”

“Ah, that…”

“Back then, you said if I’d just save your family, you’d lick my feet without a stitch of clothing on…”

I cursed inwardly and jumped up to clap my hand over his mouth. At that moment, the carriage lurched violently and Ricardo’s arm shot out, gripping my waist firmly.

“Ah…!”

By the time I came to my senses, it was already too late. My bottom was properly seated on his thighs, my hands pressed against his solid chest. And Ricardo was holding my waist, pulling me tight into his embrace.

For a moment, my mind went hazy.

As if my entire body was submerged in water, everything became distant from consciousness, and fear washed over me that soon I wouldn’t be able to breathe.

The eyes I met in that distant world dyed my entire world pitch black.

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

Barely regaining my senses, I tried to move away from him. But despite my efforts, my body was soon drawn back and seated against him again. His face was too close.

Ricardo slowly closed his eyes and opened them again. We were close enough that I could see the blue veins standing out on his closed eyelids.

The sound of my heartbeat pounded in my ears, and his heart thumped against my palm.

As our breaths mingled, a thought suddenly occurred to me.

You’re really alive, right here before my eyes.

It was an absurdly random thought.

For the first time since meeting him again, he felt real to me. Not an illusion that briefly appeared and disappeared in dreams or from afar.

Without realizing it, I brought my hand to his cheek. I felt nothing except the sense that his skin under my hand was soft and Ricardo’s eyes trembled slightly.

Had time stopped? Though in truth, time had never really mattered between you and me.

But then he suddenly cupped my head and pulled me straight into his embrace.

In this unbelievable situation, I flailed with my arms suspended in midair.

Then, a low sigh exhaled from above my head pierced my ears nakedly. My heart, which had been beating sharply just moments ago, pounded my chest dizzily.

“What should I do with you…”

There was no response I could show to a question with a predetermined answer. Perhaps he couldn’t answer either, as he said nothing more afterward.

I could no longer hear the sound of rain or the carriage rolling.

I quietly listened to the sound of his heartbeat.

Even in childhood, I had often fallen asleep listening to his heartbeat. Especially on days like this when heavy rain poured down.

How much time had passed? Even after, he continued holding me without saying a word. Except for the occasional low breath that tingled against my neck.

I was curious about his silent expression. But even moving the hand resting on his chest felt impossibly forbidden.

I was seized by a strange feeling, both hoping this suffocating tension would quickly pass and wishing it would continue forever.

The rain seemed to have subsided, and the surroundings grew a bit quieter. I carefully lifted my face from his chest and looked at him. Our eyes met immediately, as if he’d been watching me all along. At that moment, my heart dropped with a thud, falling endlessly.

Ricardo’s face showed no particular expression. Was the slight deepening I saw in his eyes just an illusion I’d projected?

It was a silence that made me wonder if my ears had broken. Whenever I met his eyes, regardless of when, I felt isolated from the world.

“What… do you want to do with me?”

Fear surged, but the words burst out on their own. His dark eyes trembled slightly. The desire to provoke him and the desire to run from him tangled together dizzyingly.

I thought it didn’t matter now who he was and who I was. All that mattered was that he was alive and pulsing in sync with my heartbeat.

A moment later, faced with his burning gaze, the one who surrendered and looked away was, once again, me.