IDIBC Chapter 61

I’m Not Afraid of Anything

“To do such a thing on your own.”

“…….”

“So I wanted to apologize…”

But the hot touch against her stopped her words again. He was smiling leisurely as their eyes met. No, contrary to his naturally upturned lips, his jet-black eyes weren’t smiling at all.

In that instant, I realized. No more words were necessary.

****

Lienne’s trembling voice was very small. Even as he boldly stole her lips for what must have been the umpteenth time, she remained consistent.

On that day he couldn’t remember, had she stolen his lips too? Was that how she finally opened all the lids?

So simply, what the saintess couldn’t achieve even after crying, starving, and clinging for three days and nights in the Grand Temple?

Before turning back time, Ricardo had met the saintess but ultimately failed to awaken. It was what he’d heard from the Crown Prince’s own mouth, so it was undoubtedly true.

Ricardo looked at the woman sitting before him, her cheeks flushed red. Her eyes and lips were covered in moisture.

A slight laugh escaped at the naivety of a woman who thought it would be fine since the world didn’t know.

After that, he couldn’t think about anything either. He had not a single will to refuse the body that softly nestled into his embrace.

The body that seemed to be full of moisture as it cautiously leaned in, the scent emanating from that body, the small hand gripping his collar tightly—all of it buried his reason.

Though he already knew the answer, he couldn’t stop her.

Surely it was time for a hollow laugh, but no expression came.

Ricardo knew. That despite this, not even a tiny crack had formed on his face right now.

“I realized recently too. That you achieved awakening at that time, Young Duke.”

“…….”

“To do such a thing on your own.”

But with her hands pushing him away, there was only one thing to do right now.

“So I wanted to apologize…”

He grabbed the chin of Lienne, who was making excuses without meeting his eyes.

His chest tightened at the too-innocent gaze for a woman who had shamelessly kissed him several times. When their lips collided again, Lienne drew in a small breath.

Even that made him impatient. As if the power she had awakened would disappear at this rate, he thought only of seizing it.

Though he was the one desperately devouring her body, a low moan escaped naturally as if he’d been attacked unexpectedly.

The thought of lightly holding and releasing disappeared the moment their lips met again.

As he twisted his head and delved inside, more force went into her tightly clenched hand. Ricardo gently took Lienne’s hand and placed it around his neck.

Just don’t let it into your heart?

Who was fooling whom?

He forcefully separated their bodies that had been pressed together without an inch of gap and looked at Lienne.

Hair so light it shone transparently in the lamplight, blue eyes deeper and softer-looking than the sea, a clear face that deeply reflected him.

Lienne, seen from a position where their breaths mixed, was breathtakingly beautiful.

Actually, it had been that way from the first moment he saw her.

When he saw this woman in the dusty wind of Resotia, his breath had stopped as if someone had struck him hard on the back of the head.

As the time of facing each other lengthened, Lienne lowered her head. Ricardo’s heart became so desperate he couldn’t even endure that fleeting moment.

Just don’t let it into your heart since he had no memory of it?

Self-mockery rose to the top of his head.

At whose will?

The emotions that pounded inexplicably dull were sometimes so absurd that he deliberately didn’t seek her out more. While constantly thinking of the woman who didn’t miss him when he wasn’t near.

Lienne twisted her body as if suddenly seized by fear.

Ricardo gripped her waist harder and pressed her against him again. After stealing her breath like that for a moment, he released her lips and warned as if coaxing.

“You have no fear at all.”

Though speaking roughly, Ricardo gently kissed her nape and the pale collarbone exposed there. Anxiously, lest she change her mind and flee.

“As if you know what feelings I might have.”

Her face was colored with bewilderment even without seeing it. The body touching his stiffened and the hand he held tensed. But that was all.

Lienne simply stretched out her arms and embraced him more.

As if to shatter all the stereotypes this world had set for women.

In this world where it was virtuous to hide one’s desires under skirts, to be appropriately fragile enough to be protected by men, to not reveal what one wanted—Lienne revealed her longing without reservation.

Every time Ricardo saw that, his chest grew hot.

“What if I make a decision that ruins you?”

His vision heated up so much he couldn’t even judge what he was saying. He inhaled her sweet breath while winding his fingers through the hair that felt cool to his fingertips.

The resolute thoughts that had filled his mind spun around him.

“I’m not afraid of anything.”

No, you should be afraid. But he couldn’t respond to the words she painfully uttered. Because right now, he feared she might truly become frightened and flee from him.

Even though just seeing her stand facing another man under moonlight with a shy smile made his head hotly tangled in chaos.

Even though his insides churned every time he recalled the countless realities of why he had to let her go.

His feelings for her always resembled certain emotions.

Futility resembling anger, irritation resembling anxiety, obsession resembling love… things like that.

So just for now, just inside this carriage. Since today was the day he had declared war on the Emperor.

Wasn’t it okay to dirty your safe future a little?

Following your method of awakening me, wasn’t it okay to covet your soft and resolute lips for just a moment?

The night was deepening.

On this seemingly eternal darkness of a road, the carriage picked up speed following the distant lights.

****

A month had already passed since revealing the secret of awakening to Ricardo.

In that time, dresses had become thinner and skirts shorter, revealing ankles. Dermeier’s summer was completely different from Resotia’s summer.

Unlike Resotia where one could escape the heat by entering the shade even under scorching sun, Dermeier’s summer was humid and sticky.

Of course, all the buildings of the Rochester ducal estate, the pinnacle of this era’s architectural technology, were much better off than other places.

Doors for ventilation were open on all sides, and shade to cool the heat existed everywhere.

Nevertheless, Sabrina and I were a bit exhausted by the humid summer we were experiencing for the first time.

Clink—ice that had melted faster than usual slid into the transparent glass.

Though it was a winter region, summer arrived without fail and the entire garden was tinged green.

The time spent lying on long chairs, drinking cold beverages and chatting quietly was nothing but peaceful, quite unlike the anxious future that would soon arrive.

“So? Did you meet Young Duke Paquin again after that?”

“You call that talking? It’s me, Sabrina.”

I lifted the cold glass to my forehead and clicked my tongue.

‘A leopard can’t change its spots.’

The winter region of the ducal estate had a separate gate leading to the city, as it was a place that took quite a while to reach by carriage from the main building.

Not needing anyone’s permission, Sabrina often went out through that back gate to meet Young Duke Paquin. With just one maid she’d become close with tagging along.

I glanced at Sabrina. Of course, she was beautiful.

But who was her counterpart?

Julian Bow Paquin, the heir to one of the three great ducal houses of the Dermeier Empire. Someone who had existed only as printed text in books before coming to Dermeier.

“Don’t you know Young Duke Paquin’s reputation?”

“What? The lover of all?”

“That’s the nickname women call him.”

Men called him an unprecedented playboy whose lower half was as light as air. Was it okay to just let him meet Sabrina?

From my uninformed perspective, Julian seemed quite anxious about Sabrina, but that was only how it appeared on the surface.

“Well, so what. He’s fair and kind to everyone, and I like that.”

Watching Sabrina gulp down her drink in one go and smack her lips, I tucked away my concerns for a moment.

I couldn’t determine whether I should protect Sabrina from Young Duke Paquin or protect Young Duke Paquin from Sabrina.

“The sun and moon are urgently pushing me along.”

“What does that mean?”

“With each day passing this quickly, what am I to do with this once-in-a-lifetime youth?”

“Sophistry.”

“It’s not sophistry, it’s my philosophy. I’ve bet this entire season on Julian. My one and only love in Dermeier.”

I was seriously worried she might plant one and only love on every continent in the world.

“You really…”

I was about to unleash a storm of nagging but immediately lost my momentum and laughed. Was I in a position to worry about anyone? At least what Sabrina was doing was better than the foolish things I was doing.

“Why are you laughing? Were you moved by my philosophy or something?”

“As if.”