IDIBC Chapter 69

Okay, Let’s Go Together

“What if a moment really comes when I can’t let you go? When this opaque feeling becomes completely transparent, what then?”

He took a deep breath so deep his chest rose, then slowly exhaled his warm breath near my ear.

“Even so… will you come with me?”

‘What?’

Ricardo pulled back from me and met my eyes. With black eyes that no longer felt cold, he was asking me.

“Even though the end is predetermined?”

I nodded without hesitation. Making absolutely sure he couldn’t mistake it. Because wherever he wanted to go, I didn’t care—anywhere was fine with me.

“I… can’t do it anymore. Being in front of you and doing nothing.”

‘It’s impossible.’ The voice that reached me so quietly was so unbelievable I couldn’t be certain it was Ricardo’s.

His hand, which had regained its warmth, touched my cheek that was cold as ice. His large hand seemed to encompass my entire face, and then my lips were captured by his again.

‘Mm.’

The first sound I made after being pulled from the water passed directly to him. With each kiss, the faint hesitation and anxiety that had remained in him completely disappeared without a trace.

The eyes that met mine again were cold. No, was everything hot like ashes left after burning?

I wanted to stroke his face, but my startled heart, my body chilled from the water, my lips that had grown hot in contrast—all of it pulled me deeper and deeper down. As my consciousness grew hazy, I instinctively grabbed and clung to his arms.

My memory cut off there, at the same moment Ricardo pulled me close and lifted me up.

****

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was an unfamiliar ceiling.

Though it wasn’t completely unfamiliar. A bed large enough to roll around without falling off, bedposts with minimal decoration, a heavy fragrance circling around my nose.

Through the slightly open window, summer night’s breeze and moonlight seeped in together.

This is Ricardo’s room.

After being pulled from the lake, I had fainted. Yet my memory was clear.

[Will you… come with me?]

His heated voice still spread hotly across my fevered forehead. Just recalling that voice made heat rise to my face again.

“Are you alright?”

In that moment, a cool voice that poured cold water on that heat bored into my ears.

“Rica?”

My voice was so hoarse it was unpleasant to hear, and at the same time a large shadow fell over my face. Was it because I was still dreaming that the hot hand that had touched my wet cheek now felt cold?

He removed his hand from my forehead. Not wanting the cool sensation to disappear, I was about to shake my head when this time his soft cheek came to rest against mine.

It hurt but I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe but my heart was pounding. My heart was pounding but I felt strangely sad.

“I’ll go. Together.”

I lifted my arm, heavy as cotton soaked with water, and wrapped it around his neck. His quiet sigh rang in my ears and struck my chest. My heart sank with a thud.

Was he regretting it? Or was it because the answer that should have been given at the lake was late?

“Even if the end is predetermined.”

As I held him tighter and spoke with emphasis again, Ricardo slowly climbed onto the bed. The heavy weight that settled down was overwhelming, so when I shifted my body slightly, he gently turned me on my side and pulled me into his arms.

In his embrace where nothing could be heard except the sound of his heartbeat, I held my breath and silently waited for his words.

I couldn’t believe Ricardo had said such a thing to me, so even in my dreams I kept asking him.

And without a single exception, I was refused.

“Okay, let’s go together. Even if the end is… predetermined.”

But the answer I heard upon waking from the dream was different. As if those words were permission, I stretched leisurely in his arms. He gently kissed my feverishly hot forehead.

“It’s not a lie, is it?”

With his lips still pressed against mine, he laughed. The fragmented laughter spread throughout my entire body.

“I’m not the one who changes my mind all the time.”

“Still… I can’t believe it.”

“These aren’t words I said lightly, Lienne. And we’re together right now, aren’t we?”

I grabbed Ricardo’s shirt and looked up at him. Because I couldn’t believe this moment. Because the moment when he held me in his arms and whispered gently was too surreal.

After locking eyes with me for a long while, he pulled and bit his lower lip, closing his eyes tightly.

“Don’t tempt me. I’m holding back a lot too.”

Hm? What did I whine about? What is he holding back?

Ricardo pulled the hand on my back harder and buried my face in his chest. The sound of his heartbeat pounded painfully in my ears. When I poked my head out again, Ricardo shook his head and held me even more tightly in his arms. Until I couldn’t breathe.

“Sleep comes first right now. You need to rest more. The doctor said you have to. You have a high fever right now.”

Even though falling asleep again wouldn’t make all of this disappear, somehow anxious, I tightened my grip on the hand holding his back. Ricardo, sensitively noticing my action, whispered affectionately. That he wouldn’t go anywhere until I woke up.

“But, Lienne…”

Was it my imagination that his voice sounded a bit hesitant?

“Will you come back here? To Hyacinth?”

“Here?”

“Yes.”

“Then you really won’t go anywhere, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay. I’ll come back.”

Even as my consciousness faded, Ricardo answering every question I asked so obediently felt too unfamiliar.

It was so strange that, afraid this might be a dream, I held onto him tighter and tighter. Feeling him stroke me gently, I fell back into dreams where I was refused countless times.

****

When I woke from my long sleep, everything had already been settled.

As promised, he spent the entire long night holding me in his arms. Even while I slept, the gentle touches continued.

The sensations were too vivid and hot to dismiss as just a dream. The feeling of soft fingers stroking my hair and lips lightly touching here and there on my face.

Even in my sleeping moments, unable to believe it, I kept burrowing into him.

The incident at the hunt was treated as just an accident, they said. The arrow that flew with clear intent was dismissed as the stupid mistake of a hunting nobleman.

Both Ricardo and I agreed not to make the matter bigger.

We didn’t need to dig deeper to know who was behind it. Of course, it probably wasn’t something done thinking this level of scheme could harm Ricardo.

No one was hurt. The horse struck by the arrow eventually died, but the horse that fell into the water survived.

So this was just a warning.

But the moment I received that clumsy, halfhearted warning, I realized. That I had somehow become his weakness.

Ricardo, who stayed by my side all day, only left the mansion again after seeing me wake up and smile vigorously.

He also added the affectionate words that although the hunt wouldn’t end until noon tomorrow, he would return by tonight. Gently embracing and kissing me, he was no different from any other fiancé.

I got up from the bed perfectly fine and walked back to the room I had originally been staying in.

Young Duke Chaplin came to see me right after Ricardo had just left the house.

Nominally it was a sick visit, but a visit at the time when my fiancé had just left the house, and moreover at this time before a major event like the hunt had even ended, was unnatural.

Thanks to my body having improved considerably, I was at least able to prevent the misfortune of receiving him in my bedroom. The fact that he, rumored to be strict about propriety, had rushed over like this meant the matter must be that urgent.

Remembering how I had been unnecessarily cold to him at the hunting grounds, I welcomed him as best as I could.

“Please come in.”

Walter was dressed in hunting attire, apparently planning to go straight to the hunting grounds after meeting me.

He bowed politely and immediately examined me.

What filled Walter’s eyes was none other than concern. A bit excessive for showing to another man’s fiancée.

Somehow my heart grew uneasy.

“Are you alright?”

“As you can see. As you’ve probably already heard, I was just startled, not badly hurt.”

Angela approached, glanced at me, then filled our cups in turn. Though I tried to smile, both Angela and Walter would know I was uncomfortable.

And for good reason—this was Young Duke Rochester’s mansion. A place where no one could miss the fact that the heir to the Chaplin duchy had come to see Ricardo’s fiancée.

“Please give us privacy.”

Yet even so, he was unhesitating.

“I came to urgently discuss what I mentioned at the hunting grounds.”

The safety of me and my family—he had definitely said that. Walter’s appearance was even desperate, like a man who had come to make some urgent plea during wartime.

I hesitated briefly, but readily granted his request.

“I thought you said you would send a letter and wait, but you’re less patient than I expected.”

As soon as everyone left the room and the door closed, I impatiently urged him on. He looked directly at me while slowly removing his gloves. Even the simple action of removing gloves was concise and orderly.

“I apologize. But the situation has taken an urgent turn. I couldn’t just sit and wait.”

As Walter said, many things had indeed happened at the hunting grounds.