IYWHM Chapter 173

In her dazed state, Kisa misunderstood what Seyard was saying.

“……I already took it earlier. The fever reducer.”

Of course, it wasn’t the problematic fever reducer from a few years ago, but a different one.

The doctor who had been monitoring Kisa’s condition couldn’t guarantee that this product was completely safe for pregnant women either, but said it was better than continuing to suffer from high fever, so he had Kisa take it.

He explained that high fever itself posed a greater risk of causing miscarriage or fetal abnormalities.

In any case, thanks to that fever reducer, Kisa’s fever dropped to a level that wasn’t dangerous, and that alone had the effect of making the world look different.

Unfortunately, the other serious symptoms excluding the high fever still drained her so much that she couldn’t even pay attention to Seyard.

At her weak response, he shook his head.

“I wasn’t talking about a fever reducer, but about using the treatment.”

“What? But the treatment is……”

“That’s right. Its safety for fetuses hasn’t been verified yet. But regardless of the fetus, Kisa’s condition will most likely improve.”

“Seyard.”

“The doctor probably finds it difficult to first recommend a choice that might harm the fetus who will be Hillan’s heir, even if it would be the best way to take care of the mother’s health.”

“Wait a minute. Listen to me.”

Ugh, Kisa tried to hurriedly sit up from the bed but frowned at the stabbing headache.

Moreover, her stomach, which had been uncomfortable all along, was churning as if she might vomit at any moment.

“Lie down.”

She didn’t want to obediently follow Seyard’s instruction, but she had no choice but to lay her body back down on the bed.

After silently calming her stomach for a while, she opened her mouth with difficulty.

“Why are you suddenly saying such things? The fever went down, didn’t it?”

“Only the fever went down. Moreover, even that hasn’t improved but is being suppressed with medication.”

“…….”

“Kisa, among the countless people who have contracted this disease, there were quite a few who were ultimately unlucky.”

Seyard’s eyes were utterly serious as he spoke indirectly about death.

Kisa looked at his face for a moment, then moved her lips, which were paler than usual.

“So you’re saying I should use the treatment?”

Her hand reflexively wrapped around her protruding belly beneath the sheet.

“Even if it means giving up this child in the worst case?”

Seyard answered without hesitation. “Yes. That’s right.”

Seeing that, a hollow sigh naturally flowed from her lips.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. It doesn’t seem like we’re at the stage to discuss giving up yet.”

Even though Kisa turned her head to the side to avoid his gaze, he didn’t back down easily.

“No. The sooner we discuss it, the more appropriate the topic becomes.”

She heard the sound of a chair being dragged from behind her head.

Seyard, who had been sitting somewhat far from the bed out of consideration for her, had moved his position.

“Kisa, unfortunately, not everyone who took the treatment got the results they wanted.”

Now his voice could be heard from close by.

“And they were mostly elderly or those who originally suffered from underlying diseases.”

“I’m not particularly elderly, and I don’t have any notable underlying diseases.”

“But you weren’t of a perfectly healthy constitution either, were you? I heard from the nanny who took care of you. She said you were often sick from childhood and would quickly develop a fever when stressed. Moreover, you overexerted yourself in this foreign place until recently.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Kisa momentarily flared up without realizing it, but even that soon became tiresome.

Last dawn, she had vomited everything she was forced to eat all day, and only managed a few spoonfuls of the thin soup the servants brought when noon arrived.

Even when Seyard visited frequently and silently watched over her, Kisa didn’t even have the energy to refuse his visits each time.

“I’m tired. I want to rest, so please leave.”

If it had been the day before yesterday or yesterday, there wouldn’t have been a need to say it in words.

Until now, he would stop talking and withdraw whenever Kisa showed even the slightest sign of discomfort.

But today, as if he had made some firm resolution, he remained unmoved.

“The medication will be most effective when you still have some strength. If this condition continues, your energy will only keep declining. Kisa, think carefully and make a decision.”

“Seyard, stop.”

“If it’s because of guilt, Kisa doesn’t need to bear it. You can think of it as something I decided alone and forced upon you. If you want, I’ll explain it that way to the doctor and servants too.”

“Please just stop!”

It was the first time she had raised her voice since falling ill.

This time, Kisa, who had sat up from the bed, glared at the man who had risen from his chair.

Surely, if Kisa hadn’t stopped him, this man would have immediately gone to the doctor outside and told him to prepare the treatment.

Her haggard face contorted with resentment.

“Guilt? Yes, I can’t say there isn’t any.”

It was Kisa herself who had decided to have the child despite being a fugitive, and she had felt affection for the being in her womb in her own way.

Even after being dragged here by Seyard’s hand, it would be a lie to say she hadn’t looked forward at all to the day she would meet her born child.

“But there’s another main reason why I’m refusing the treatment now.”

You. Kisa’s sharp gaze pointed exactly at the red-haired man.

“That attitude of yours, deciding whether or not to use treatment for my illness as if it’s natural.”

Kisa’s voice, unlike moments before, was strangely clear and strong.

“That arrogant thought that since it’s ultimately for my sake, you don’t need to care about my opinion at all.”

She pronounced each word clearly and distinctly.

“I hate that. I hate it so much it gives me chills.”

So that he could hear her better.

“That’s why I left you.”

How much time had passed after Kisa finished her last words?

“…….”

Seyard was looking into Kisa’s eyes without any particular change in expression.

However, Kisa actually read emotional ripples in that appearance.

Because if it were the usual Seyard, there would have been some reaction.

He would have either gently soothed Kisa or stepped back with an apologetic face to apologize.

But what he actually chose was to continue exchanging uncomfortable gazes with Kisa with a hardened expression, as if having a staring contest.

That face was somewhat different from the mask-like expressionlessness he often showed when he was Vischer Hillan.

It might have been her imagination, but the emotion residing within seemed to ripple as if it might spill out at any moment.

Whether it was hurt from what Kisa had just said, or displeasure at her adamant refusal of the treatment, she didn’t know.

Was he suppressing his emotions? Seyard, who had swept back his short side hair with an irritated touch, spoke.

“Kisa, think rationally. Refusing treatment out of defiance against me is an irrational decision.”

“People can’t always live rationally. Was that too foolish a thing to say to you? But that’s exactly who I am.”

“Let’s cool our heads and talk again. You seem too excited right now.”

“No matter how many times we talk, my mind won’t change. I guarantee it.”

“I admit I spoke coercively. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“Even so, your tone will just become more cunning and gentle. Seyard, you’ve already decided in your heart. In such a situation, whatever conversation we have will only be a process of you persuading me.”

At Kisa’s firm stance, Seyard fell silent for a moment.

Was he pondering how to make Kisa follow his will? Or perhaps he was feeling disappointed, thinking she was a woman who only spouted foolish words.

Kisa didn’t avoid his gaze as if to say “go ahead and try,” but the story that came from the man’s mouth was slightly different from her prediction.

“……What matters most to me is your life and health.”

At his subdued voice, Kisa’s anger also softened a little, but her resolve remained unchanged.

“Those things used to be most important to me too. But not now. I’ve had quite a change of heart recently.”

“How have you changed?”

“Freedom. That’s what I want more than anything else now.”

“More than life?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

So, Kisa continued with unwavering eyes.

“No matter what you say, I won’t use the treatment. Even if it costs me my life.”

At that moment, Seyard’s face contorted.

He quickly walked toward the door and went outside. With a bang! slamming the door hard.

It was the first time she had encountered such a violent side of him since getting to know the person called Seyard.

Seyard leaving the room without even a simple greeting because he was angry.

It seemed he was quite displeased that she had refused the treatment.