IYWHM Chapter 176

“Se, Seyard?”

 

Kisa, who had suddenly come to her senses, cautiously called his name.

 

“…….”

 

However, the pair of red eyes glowing in the darkness only watched her, maintaining their silence.

 

What was going on here?

 

She tried to understand the current situation with her mind half-dulled by drowsiness and mild fever.

 

She had certainly fallen asleep normally, so why was Seyard above her when she opened her eyes?

 

Hadn’t he left before Kisa fell asleep, saying he had things to do?

 

Just in case, she glanced around with the corner of her eye and saw the familiar appearance of the room.

 

It was Kisa’s hotel room that she knew well, and outside the window was shrouded in pitch-black darkness.

 

‘Should I be relieved that I wasn’t moved somewhere else while sleeping…….’

 

By her estimation, it seemed to be late night or early dawn, not many hours having passed since she had fallen asleep.

 

One strange thing was that there were only two people in this space: Kisa and Seyard.

 

Kisa could see the empty chair beyond his thick forearm where muscles stood out prominently.

 

Where had the servant who was supposed to sit there and care for her all night disappeared to?

 

“Where are you looking?”

 

At that moment, a voice fell from above her head.

 

Kisa turned her head to stare at the man who was still trapping her with his two arms and two legs, making her unable to move.

 

“Look at me, Kisa.”

 

His eyes were fierce, but for some reason his voice had a gentle quality.

 

Thanks to that, Kisa, who had gained a little courage, tried speaking to him once more.

 

“What are you doing here right now?”

 

The answer came back after a slight pause.

 

“I’m watching over you.”

 

“I can see that. Why are you doing this when everyone should be sleeping?”

 

Seyard didn’t reply for another long while, just examining Kisa.

 

She wanted to avoid that gaze as it felt burdensome, but somehow her head wouldn’t turn away.

 

It felt like being bound by invisible chains.

 

“I can only see your face when you’re not hostile toward me at times like this.”

 

It might not be an appropriate comparison, but it was a tone similar to a child’s petulance.

 

Naturally, the sharpness contained in Kisa’s words also became somewhat duller.

 

“……It can’t be helped. Who was it that not only forcibly brought me to this place but also tried to secretly feed me medicine?”

 

“The medicine is for your sake.”

 

“That’s no excuse. The person concerned—me—doesn’t want it.”

 

“I really don’t understand why you refuse the medicine so much. It’s the most effective and fastest way to cure your illness. If you get healthy, that’s good for you too.”

 

“Let’s stop this. There’s no point in arguing about this issue anymore; we’ll just keep repeating the same things.”

 

However, Seyard didn’t seem inclined to obediently follow Kisa’s wishes.

 

“You want to become like your mother? Suddenly? To my ears, that sounds like nothing but an excuse.”

 

“Seyard.”

 

“You just don’t like me, isn’t that it? You’re protesting against me. Since I brought you here like this, you won’t listen to a single word I say. Even if your health deteriorates, even if by some chance you die, I should just watch. Yes, the first reason you gave was everything and the most honest.”

 

His voice, which had always been calm about everything, gradually quickened and filled with passion.

 

“I didn’t expect you to like me easily as before. From the day you ran away from the wedding, I thought winning your heart might be impossible for a lifetime. But to this extent? That you dislike me so much you don’t care about ruining your own health?”

 

“Stop it and move aside.”

 

“Don’t say it’s for the child. You don’t really want a child that carries my blood, do you?”

 

“Hey.”

 

“Rather than staying by my side, rather than returning to Sorbi with me, you think it would be better for you and that child to just perish together? Is that why you stubbornly refuse the medicine in this situation where no improvement is visible?”

 

“I told you to stop!”

 

Finally, Kisa shouted loudly and pushed Seyard’s body with all her might.

 

Of course, even if she exerted all her strength, it was nearly impossible for her, weak and not in perfect condition, to shake him off by force.

 

But Seyard obediently let himself be pushed back and sat at Kisa’s feet.

 

Once freed from him, Kisa sat up and glared at the man positioned in front of her.

 

“Do you think I’m doing this because I want to die? It’s my body that’s sick. I want to get better quickly too.”

 

“……Then use the medicine.”

 

“No. I’ve decided to get better without using it.”

 

“You’re stubborn.”

 

“Disappointed? But it can’t be helped. This is who I am as a person.”

 

“…….”

 

As the tension eased due to his quiet lack of response, Kisa felt sudden fatigue rushing over her all at once.

 

She had no strength in her body and her head felt foggy, as if she had overexerted herself.

 

“Well, that’s the end of our conversation. I want to rest now, so please leave.”

 

Kisa’s finger pointed to the single door in the room.

 

“Oh, and you sent the servant away, didn’t you? Don’t trouble other people unnecessarily at this late hour and tell them to come back.”

 

The person who should have been in charge of Kisa tonight was probably pacing around near the guest room, unable to do this or that because of the Duke’s orders.

 

Instead of responding to those words, Seyard stared blankly at Kisa.

 

“In a situation like this, are other people important?”

 

It was a voice full of bewilderment.

 

“I… you are the most important to me.”

 

Then why aren’t you the same as me—he seemed to want to say that.

 

“Seyard. No, Vischer.”

 

Looking at the man’s face mixed with resentment, Kisa had only one response to give.

 

“Don’t act like a spoiled child.”

 

The silence that followed.

 

As if it was an unexpected remark, he narrowed his eyes as if trying to gauge the meaning of Kisa’s words.

 

Kisa suddenly found the current situation itself amusing and let out a hollow laugh.

 

What kind of ridiculous farce was this in the middle of the night?

 

Moreover, the day would come when she would give such a rebuke to that person, of all people.

 

‘That Seyard, to Duke Hillan.’

 

While thinking that human affairs are truly unpredictable, she also felt awkward since, to be honest, she herself wasn’t in a position to lecture others.

 

But since she had started speaking, wouldn’t it be proper to finish?

 

“Until now, your abilities might have been good, your natural environment extraordinary, and even luck followed you, so almost all aspects of your life went as you wanted. But life can’t always be like that.”

 

She thought some rebuttal might come back, but unexpectedly, he quietly listened to what Kisa was saying.

 

“Just accept it. I am me and you are you. We are separate human beings, and just because you think of me that much, expecting me to do the same is nothing but absurd selfishness. Of course, that includes trying to forcibly keep me tied to your side.”

 

Kisa also preemptively blocked the counterargument she expected to come from his mouth.

 

“Saying it’s for my sake, that ultimately it’s the path to my happiness—all such words are just convenient excuses for you.”

 

“…….”

 

“So let me go. Please, Vischer.”

 

Kisa’s words paused momentarily with a hope she had long since given up on.

 

If this man were the type to obediently let Kisa go just because she said so, the two of them wouldn’t have come this far.

 

After that, only silence filled the room.

 

At some point, dim light began to seep in through the window.

 

It had been dark just moments ago, but quite some time must have passed while arguing with him.

 

The dawn light illuminated everything in the bedroom evenly, and Kisa could naturally examine the face of the man opposite her in more detail.

 

Dark circles under his eyes and somewhat disheveled hair.

 

Among all the appearances of him she had seen so far, this was the most unorganized attire, and his expression also caught Kisa’s attention.

 

Dissatisfaction, resentment, bitterness, and the primitive affection that formed the foundation of all those things.

 

His raw emotions were exposed completely without being refined.

 

Could this really be the same person who had always filtered and filtered again, showing only refined things?

 

‘No, perhaps…….’

 

This might be his true essence.

 

Kisa was captivated by the thought that she was properly witnessing the human Vischer Hillan today for the first time, having only glimpsed fragments of him until now.

 

Ah, so this is who you are.

 

Someone who had nurtured unilateral, infantile emotions toward Kisa for a long time under the guise of love.

 

A person who, it turned out, had failed to achieve inner growth from the time he was young Vischer.

 

In that sense, now, more than ten years after their first meeting, they had finally met.

 

Then the man who had been sitting awkwardly on the bed suddenly stood up.

 

Without giving Kisa a chance to say anything, he headed toward the door with quick steps.

 

This time too, there were no particular words of farewell.

 

For a fleeting moment, he glanced back at Kisa, leaving only a meaningful look, then left the room.

 

Kisa felt that his eyes had seemed a little red when she last saw them.

 

Needless to say, there was an infinitely high possibility that she had seen wrong in the dim light.

 

Whether it should be called fortunate amid misfortune, after that day Kisa never again had to engage in meaningless battles with Seyard over the medicine.

 

This was because, starting from the day he had secretly crept onto Kisa’s bed, her condition gradually began to show improvement.

 

The doctor, who had been watching her condition and reducing the number of medicines one by one, even said one day that with this level of physical condition, a short walk in the hotel garden would probably be fine.

 

Since the time Gale had promised to send the next message was just around the corner, Kisa was overjoyed.

 

Moreover, according to the doctor, the child in her belly also fortunately didn’t seem to show any major problems.

 

‘The child must not have inherited my weak constitution.’

 

Kisa sat in the armchair in the living room, stroking her belly that had grown larger in the meantime, and thought about the man she hadn’t conversed with since that problematic day.

 

Duke Hillan appeared in his fiancée’s guest room almost daily, yet as if sulking, he didn’t speak to Kisa.

 

‘How childish……’

 

Just as she was thinking that, a small grumbling reached Kisa’s ears.

 

“Really, how do you guard something properly?”

 

It was a muttering from the servant who had entered the guest room carrying a newspaper.

 

Kisa glanced at the object in her hands and then spoke.

 

“Is there some problem?”

 

“Oh, it’s nothing much. Today’s delivered newspaper has something like paint spilled on it.”

 

It was information that absolutely could not be overlooked.