IYWHM Chapter 185

Kisa’s body collapsed powerlessly onto the bare ground.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Gale tried to support her, but Kisa weakly waved her hand away.

 

“Rather than me… are the others alright…?”

 

With her mind not functioning properly, that was all she could manage to say.

 

Gale seemed worried about Kisa, but after telling her to wait just a moment, he turned around.

 

He appeared to be going to those two figures to assess the situation.

 

Kisa couldn’t bring herself to stand up and blankly looked around her surroundings.

 

The scene after disaster had swept through once was utterly desolate.

 

The building that had boasted elegant charm until just a while ago was now cleanly split in half, its interior completely exposed.

 

Kisa’s gaze swept over the relatively intact half before fixing on the other half that wasn’t so fortunate.

 

That could no longer be called a building—it was more fitting to call it rubble.

 

Just as her heartbeat was gradually quickening, something thick like cloth touched her shoulder.

 

“Here, please put this on at least.”

 

One of the kind rescue team members seemed to have wrapped a blanket around her.

 

Kisa reflexively moved her lips, but she couldn’t tell if she had properly conveyed her thanks.

 

This ruin-like scenery, the murmuring sounds in her ears, even the cold chill from the ground—somehow none of it felt real.

 

“You said someone you know is inside?”

 

Perhaps finding her appearance pitiful, the kind rescuer offered words of comfort.

 

“The rescue operation is still ongoing, so don’t lose hope. And those who were on the side that didn’t collapse during the accident have been confirmed to be mostly safe. The entrance area completely collapsed, but the inner areas are relatively…”

 

More words continued after that, but only fragmentary words entered Kisa’s mind.

 

Eventually, they were reassembled in a negative direction, contrary to the speaker’s original intent.

 

If those who were on the side that didn’t collapse were fine, what happened to those who were on the side that did collapse?

 

Even without asking, the answer seemed clear.

 

The building that remained only as traces was such a terrifying sight.

 

‘That person is in there…’

 

Images of the man who wasn’t by her side now flashed through her mind like a revolving lantern.

 

All those memories from when she loved him without knowing his identity or true feelings, to the recent time when they fought loudly with each other.

 

His gentle face, his lovable face, his suspicious face, his resentful face. Various faces of Seyard appeared and disappeared in her mind.

 

The thought that she could no longer see those various faces made her heart feel like it was tearing apart.

 

What a contradictory emotion this was.

 

The person that wanted to go far away because she didn’t want to see him—that person was none other than herself.

 

Suddenly missing his warmth desperately, Kisa swallowed her breath.

 

Still, she hoped that person would live well somewhere under the same sky.

 

She hadn’t been able to give him the happiness he wanted in the end, but she still wished for his happiness.

 

Because she loved him. Despite everything that had happened, she continued to love that person.

 

Yes, though it might not be exactly the same emotion as when she knew nothing, she still loved Seyard.

 

That man who was once Vischer and is now Seyard.

 

That man who tried to bind her with love as his reason.

 

That man who secretly came to watch over her with reddened eyes all night as she endured without using the treatment.

 

But he was no longer in this world.

 

He had met his end in the concert hall where he had entered, deceived as Kisa had led him to.

 

“Ah.”

 

At the sudden pain, she clutched her swollen belly.

 

It seemed this vivid and painful shock had affected the baby as well.

 

She tried to consciously steady her breathing, but the pain didn’t subside easily—it only got worse.

 

Though her head knew she needed to calm down, her heart wouldn’t cooperate at all.

 

‘No. No.’

 

She didn’t want to lose anything more.

 

“Hey, where does it hurt?”

 

The rescue worker who noticed the abnormal signs asked in alarm.

 

“I’m, I’m fine…”

 

Kisa forced herself to speak to reassure him. But then.

 

“Miss!”

 

“Lady Kisa!”

 

When she raised her head to look in the direction of the sound, she saw Cloe’s face waving at her behind Gale who was running over.

 

And besides those two, Kisa also saw the silhouettes of two other men and women unfamiliar to her.

 

They were Gale’s friends who had taken on the roles as doubles along with Cloe.

 

At that moment, Kisa’s eyes stung with the relief that washed over her.

 

It was such a blessing that at least they were safe.

 

She swore to God that this feeling was never false, but it wasn’t everything either.

 

Kisa trembled at her own selfishness that prevented her from purely rejoicing in their survival.

 

But the thoughts swelling uncontrollably in her heart couldn’t be stopped.

 

They had returned alive, so why weren’t you?

 

Why aren’t you by my side? Why don’t you embrace me as I shiver with cold and sadness?

 

For what reason won’t you come to my side as I sit collapsed here like this?

 

‘You promised eternal love.’

 

The words she couldn’t voice became tears that flowed down her cheeks.

 

The teardrops fell incessantly, wetting the ground like earth where groundwater had leaked due to an earthquake.

 

She could feel the worried gazes of Gale and Cloe, and others looking at her, but Kisa couldn’t control her flowing tears.

 

“Ah—”

 

Just as the lament that came from her open mouth was about to turn into a scream.

 

“Kisa.”

 

That voice pierced Kisa’s eardrums like a hallucination.

 

Soon after, a person appeared in her field of vision as she couldn’t even turn her stiff neck.

 

Could God be showing mercy, taking pity on her?

 

The person who had lowered himself to examine Kisa was the very person she had wanted to see desperately enough to die.

 

“Se… Seyard…?”

 

When she voiced his name, the man who might or might not be a mirage calmly opened his mouth.

 

“Does your abdomen hurt? Can you tell me how it hurts? If it’s severe, rather than calling a doctor, we should move directly to a hospital.”

 

Instead of answering that question, Kisa urgently cupped his face with her hands.

 

His usually neat and smooth skin didn’t have a single small scratch.

 

Feeling the warmth in her hands, Kisa barely managed to squeeze out her voice.

 

“Is it really you?”

 

“…”

 

Seyard, who had been silently looking at Kisa, placed his hand over the back of hers.

 

“Yes, it’s me.”

 

Lukewarm warmth enveloped her cold hands front and back, as if asserting that he was here.

 

“It’s me, Seyard.”

 

Crash. Kisa threw herself forward as she heard him pronounce his own name once more.

 

Because Seyard supported her, Kisa could feel his presence completely for a moment.

 

Even embracing him with all her strength, he didn’t disappear. It really was Seyard. The person she loved.

 

“I, I thought something had happened to you… I thought you were inside there…”

 

He calmed her trembling back with rhythmic touches.

 

“Please be at ease. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.”

 

“Right? They were mistaken, weren’t they?”

 

“They?”

 

Seyard only turned his head to check the two people who happened to be looking this way.

 

They seemed somehow tense due to his presence and also appeared uncomfortable.

 

“Those people said… that you had gone in there and met with harm…”

 

Seyard firmly denied Kisa’s words.

 

“No. That couldn’t have been about me.”

 

“What?”

 

“Rather than that, shall we move? This isn’t a good environment for you to be in.”

 

However, Kisa shook her head and stepped back from him. It was thanks to the excitement that had dominated her until just moments ago subsiding somewhat.

 

“Please tell me properly. What exactly happened?”

 

She was sick of evasions now.

 

Seyard was silent for a moment, then began with the words not to be too surprised.

 

“The person who was caught in the building collapse inside there wasn’t me, but Princess Arta.”

 

“The, the Princess…?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

The story he told afterward was truly surprising.

 

“I was quite far from the building at the time of the accident, so I avoided harm, but the Princess, who had just entered inside, was not so fortunate.”

 

Come to think of it, the building had collapsed catastrophically mainly around the entrance area.

 

When Kisa unconsciously turned her gaze to Cloe, she spoke up.

 

“The instrument storage room where we were was inside, so it was fine.”

 

Seyard picked up from there.

 

“Thanks to that, my subordinates who were watching them were also safe. However, several who were approaching the building on my orders were injured by debris and are just now returning from the hospital.”

 

“I, I see. Then the Princess is…?”

 

“The search is still ongoing, but…”

 

From the expression Seyard made while saying this and the conversation the officials had earlier, her chances of survival seemed extremely low.

 

Death. Could no one escape it after all?

 

While Kisa was acutely feeling this grim reality, the murmuring that had been quietly spread in the distance suddenly grew louder.

 

Eventually, someone appeared through the commotion, a figure well known not only to Kisa and Seyard but to all citizens of Matera.

 

“Duke Hillan, Lady Vansfelt! Were you the two guests who came to visit my house?”

 

Gabriel Williams stopped in front of the two, breathing heavily.

 

“What brings you here?”

 

To Seyard’s question, he answered while patting his chest.

 

“When I returned home, a servant told me the story. The guests who had visited the house heard his recollection and headed to the concert hall.”

 

“That’s what happened.”

 

“Actually, that fellow is a bit hard of hearing. The place I stopped by today wasn’t the concert hall but the music store in front of it, but he seems to have misunderstood and given false information.”

 

Anyway, Gabriel said with a full smile on his face.

 

“I’m so relieved that you both look safe! If you had been put in danger because of me, I would have felt guilty for life.”

 

“…”

 

The heavy silence that followed was enough to confuse someone who knew nothing.

 

“Um, what’s wrong?”

 

Toward Gabriel who was tilting his head, Seyard moved his lips again.

 

“Gabriel, I hope you won’t feel guilty about the fact you’re about to learn. In the end, it was that person who set foot in there.”

 

That profile with downcast eyes looked somehow unfamiliar to Kisa’s eyes.

 

Did she know that person could make such a face?

 

****

 

The hospital said there were no major problems with Kisa’s health or the baby in her womb.

 

Still, since the expectant mother’s mental shock was indeed bad for pregnancy, Kisa and Seyard left the examination room with the advice to rest for a while.

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

In the hospital’s reception room, the two were silent for a while.

 

What words should they exchange? The person who tried to run away and the person who chased.

 

But then the man beside Kisa broke the silence first.

 

“Given the doctor’s advice, how about refraining from long travels for a while?”

 

Then Kisa, who couldn’t stand the awkwardness any longer, brought up an uncomfortable topic.

 

“Are you planning to use that excuse to tie me to your side again?”

 

Perhaps flustered, he furrowed his brow.

 

“That wasn’t my intention.”

 

Then what was your intention, Kisa was about to ask, but soon changed her mind.

 

She didn’t want to have another drawn-out argument with him.

 

There was a topic she truly wanted to discuss.

 

“Seyard, just tell me this one thing.”

 

She moved closer to him and asked.

 

“Why didn’t you enter the building then? Why did you personally go to the hospital to check on your injured subordinates?”

 

His eyes narrowed as if trying to grasp the intent of the question.

 

“…Must I not do so?”

 

“Don’t avoid it and answer me honestly.”

 

After exchanging gazes like that for a while, Seyard answered the question as if he had no choice.

 

“I’m not sure myself.”

 

It was a very small voice.

 

“You don’t know?”

 

“Yes, when I came to my senses, I was walking in the opposite direction from the building. Ignoring my panicked subordinates’ shouts.”

 

“Then what about your reason for stopping by the hospital?”

 

“Those who followed my orders were injured because of it—it was the natural thing to do.”

 

“…Did you already know then? That the people in the building were doubles?”

 

“I confirmed it with my own eyes and received detailed reports from subordinates who evacuated outside right after the accident.”

 

“But didn’t you think to chase after me?”

 

He closed his mouth again.

 

What should he say? It felt a bit different from the silence he often used.

 

It wasn’t trying to brush off something difficult to answer, but showed clear signs of genuine contemplation.

 

After thinking for quite some time, the man finally spoke.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

He looked at Kisa with pleading eyes like a lost child.

 

“I don’t know, Kisa. Actually, I’ve been thinking about it continuously since the accident occurred, but I couldn’t find a clear answer.”

 

“…Seyard.”

 

“Of course I wanted to chase you. Even now, I want to hold you so you can’t go anywhere. But I couldn’t do it. I had the feeling that if I did, something would go terribly wrong and could never be undone…”

 

“Seyard.”

 

As if that was enough, Kisa wrapped her arms around his back.

 

She understood more than enough. He had somehow become someone who could let the caged bird go.

 

“It’s okay. I won’t go anywhere, as you said.”

 

Thus the bird returned.

 

To the side of the changed man.

 

To the side of the lover who would continue to change.

 

“I love you.”

 

Kisa decided to willingly throw herself into this love.

 

“You love me?”

 

Then Seyard’s eyes widened. He asked back with an expression of disbelief.

 

“Do you really love me? Still?”

 

Kisa smiled contentedly at the man who was showing an uncharacteristically—no, very characteristically—naive reaction.

 

“Can’t you tell by looking?”

 

The next moment, two lips overlapped.

 

Unfortunately, the time Seyard gave Kisa the initiative, being flustered by the sudden kiss, wasn’t long.

 

Before long, he became passionate and quickly took back what had been stolen.

 

Kisa, I love you too. Please stay by my side. I’ll make you happy. This time for sure.

 

Between catching their breath, unlike the breathless Kisa, he managed to say what he wanted to say.

 

Kisa found that appearance annoying and pinched his soft cheek a little.

 

But taking that as a signal, the man resumed kissing.

 

The two passionately explored each other’s lips.

 

As if they would love each other forever.