ATEG Chapter 74.2

“…We respectfully inform the Jiuqu River God that last year’s prosperity and joy were all due to divine grace, bringing rain and guiding springs, benefiting both people and crops… Now there is a new bride, along with a golden boy and jade girl, who, grateful for divine virtue, wish to go and serve…”

The young woman in wedding robes sat in the sedan chair holding the two children, listening through the curtain to the people’s prayers.

“Sister.” The little girl tugged at her arm and asked carefully in a low voice, “Will Grandfather River God be very fierce?”

The boy said nothing but raised his head with equal unease, looking at the young woman.

She slowly stroked the shoulders and backs of the two children. After a long while, she finally said quietly, “Don’t be afraid.”

After the worship ended, people rose. The River God’s messenger approached and lifted the sedan curtain with half-lowered eyes. Outside the sedan also stood a sturdy young man—the River God wife’s older brother. The River God wife’s mother was ill, and her father stayed home to care for her. But her brother had to come—he needed to carry his sister to her wedding.

Here, all young women were carried by their fathers or brothers when they married.

No matter whom she was marrying, he had to carry her this once.

The man turned his back to the sedan, his head deeply bowed.

The young woman released her arms from around the two children. The two children instinctively grabbed her sleeves. She paused, patted the children’s arms, and after they let go, leaned onto her brother’s back.

Her brother carried her, step by step toward the river. The River God’s messenger held the two children’s hands, following behind step after step.

People cleared a path.

The man remained silent throughout, and she remained silent throughout.

She was placed on the boat. The man who had kept his head lowered finally raised it, his eyes bloodshot, his voice hoarse. “Little sister… in your next life, don’t be born here.”

One wasn’t supposed to speak during the sacrificial ceremony, but the River God’s messenger kept his eyes lowered, as if he saw nothing and heard nothing.

“No.” The young woman said.

The River God’s messenger couldn’t help but raise his eyes. This was the first time he’d heard her speak, and the first time he’d seen her appearance clearly.

Wedding robe bright red, lips like blood, in her pitch-black eyes flickered light—like traces of tears, yet like burning flames.

She looked at her brother, at the villagers who had come to make the sacrifice, and at him—that gaze almost made him shudder.

“No.” She said.

“In my next life, the life after that… I will keep being born here. Until the day the River God perishes!”

……

Forty years, or perhaps fifty years… the River God’s messenger could no longer remember how long had passed. He had presided over one River God sacrifice after another, sending off one River God’s wife after another, one pair of golden boy and jade girl after another. This year, another River God sacrifice was approaching.

With his disciple, he stood once again at a doorway.

No soft weeping or fearful rapid breathing—the person who opened the door was very quiet.

Had she resigned herself? This young woman was slightly different. Her parents had taken money from another family; she had come to be the River God’s wife in place of that family’s daughter.

Such things weren’t too uncommon, but he never paid attention. As long as there was a River God’s wife and golden boy and jade girl every year, he didn’t concern himself with anything else.

But his disciple was still young and still had some righteous indignation. These past days he’d been muttering about this matter in his ear—but what use was it?

He’d only asked his disciple one question: “Do you want me to step forward and designate that other family’s daughter as the River God’s wife?”

His disciple had immediately shut his mouth.

Injustice, righteous indignation, sympathy…what use were they? As long as the River God remained, there would always be a River God’s wife and golden boy and jade girl. If not this one, then that one.

There always had to be someone.

No need to distinguish who they were—knowing they were the River God’s wife and golden boy and jade girl was enough.

Sacrifices always needed someone to preside over them.

The River God’s messenger felt his hands lighten as the bright red wedding robe was taken from him.

Quiet, but not numb. That quietness gave him a sense of familiarity.

He unconsciously raised his head. It was the face of an unfamiliar young woman, but those eyes… black as ink yet gleaming with light, like traces of tears, yet like burning flames…

Had she already cried?

He remembered what his disciple had said—how that family had cried and wiped away tears saying they couldn’t bear to part with their daughter, how they’d used this to raise the price to the other family, how they’d joyfully collected the money… They hadn’t come to participate in this wedding procession; they hadn’t even come to look!

Though every year they would take the River God’s wife and two children to the same room in advance, their families would always come begging to see them again, even if just to speak through doors and windows… but not this time. No… the families of those two children had all come, but the River God wife’s family had not.

The River God’s messenger looked at those eyes. He went against his usual habit—not only did he raise his head to look at her face, but he didn’t look away for a long time.

He could no longer remember the last face he’d seen, but he remembered those eyes.

Exactly like the eyes before him now.

In those eyes was not resentment, not suffering, not injustice… or rather, she had already experienced all of these, but she had burned them into flames.

The wedding procession, the worship, sending the River God’s wife and golden boy and jade girl onto the boat… The River God’s messenger looked at the young woman sitting on the boat. Wedding robe bright red, lips like blood, her pitch-black eyes gleamed with a captivating light.

No one carried her to her wedding.

The River God’s messenger fell silent for a moment, handed the two children to his disciple, and turned his own back to the sedan chair.

This was very dangerous. People both revered and resented the River God’s messenger, and the River God’s wives and children who had been selected especially so. She was too close to him—might she do something? She wore hairpins, which were sharp…

But she did nothing. She was very quiet and very light, yet the River God’s messenger felt his footsteps had never been so heavy.

That young woman leaned on his back. He was seeing her off to her wedding, sending her onto that boat of certain death.

He looked at her face, looked at her eyes.

No… she wasn’t just the River God’s wife—she was also a young woman, a living person. She had her own name, not just “River God’s wife.”

The River God’s messenger suddenly spoke. “…In your next life, don’t be born here.”

“No.” The young woman in wedding robes said.

The river wind pulled at her wedding robe. The firelight in her eyes was even more vivid than the wedding robe itself.

“I will keep being born here. I will see the River God perish. I will see wronged souls freed. I will watch until there are no more River God weddings here!”

The River God’s messenger looked at her and paused for a long time. His lips moved, but in the end he said nothing. He only stepped back a few paces and led the people in kowtowing once more to the small boat.

This time they weren’t kowtowing to the River God, but to the River God’s wife and the golden boy and jade girl.

Were they going with the River God to enjoy blessings? No one knew. No one knew where that small boat would ultimately drift. It would always carry the people aboard, drifting and drifting on the river surface until it disappeared, but everyone knew that they had secured another year of favorable weather for the Jiuqu River shores.

The young woman dressed in wedding robes sat on the boat. She held the two children in her arms, her face expressionless, only a pair of pitch-black eyes watching the people who kowtowed to them.

The two children stirred uneasily—among those kowtowing were their parents.

The River God’s messenger untied the rope, and the small boat drifted away with the current. Music sounded again from the shore, like wedding music, yet like sacrificial music.

“I saw Mother crying,” the little girl said.

……

Another year’s River God sacrifice had ended. People returned to their homes, carrying both the relief of trying to shake off oppression and the unease and fear of what would come a year hence.

The River God’s messenger was already elderly. With his disciple’s support, he returned to the River God temple.

He sat restlessly for a long time, so much so that even his disciple felt it strange.

But he was only thinking about today’s sacrifice. He had broken his usual habits, and… at that moment he hadn’t spoken. But he had actually wanted to ask, wanted to ask her name, not just “River God’s wife.”

But he hadn’t been able to ask. He had been timid.

She should hate him. They should all hate him.

“Next year you preside over the River God sacrifice,” he suddenly said to his disciple.

Waving off his disciple’s words, he threw on his clothes and hurried to the riverside.

He looked at the river surface. The water flowed, calm and peaceful.

He thought again of those pitch-black eyes.

“I also want to see…” he murmured, and jumped into the river.

……

Year after year passed, one River God sacrifice after another began.

Another young woman dressed in wedding robes was sent onto the boat.

The small boat for sacrificing to the River God would always drift and drift on the river surface until it disappeared. Aside from the River God’s wife and golden boy and jade girl, no one knew where it would ultimately drift.

The young woman in brilliant wedding robes looked at the river surface, her pitch-black eyes seeming to burn. She felt as if she remembered this scene…

The river water beneath the small boat grew turbulent. The young children clutched at her clothes, saying with suppressed sobs. “Sister, I’m scared…”

“Close your eyes.” She pulled the two children’s heads into her embrace, but she herself stared fixedly at the river surface.

The river water formed a whirlpool that caught the boat. A huge black shadow approached from beneath the surface. The next second, she saw a huge, vicious serpent’s maw.

……

……So cold……

……So painful……

……I want to go home……

……I’m so afraid……

……Father, Mother, where are you……

……Wuu wuu wuu, I’ll be good, don’t abandon me……

White bones lay in layers at the river bottom. The sacrifices devoured by the River God clung to their own bones, wandering the riverbed in resentment and suffering.

The River God’s massive body slid through the water. The water ghosts sinking at the river bottom trembled in that shadow.

They resented, but they also feared. They remembered the towering waves the River God had raised in years when no sacrifices were offered; they remembered how that huge, vicious serpent’s maw had swallowed them; they remembered the agony of slowly suffocating in the serpent’s belly, their flesh and skin gradually being digested…

They remembered the River God’s might, and thus remembered their own weakness. So their fear dissolved the power of their resentment.

The River God never cared about these white bones and wronged souls underwater. So what if they resented him? Their timidity determined their wretchedness.

They would ultimately be worn away by time, just as stones are worn away by river water.

But among those accumulated white bones, there was a pair of pitch-black eyes that, when all the other water ghosts bowed their heads to avoid that terrible shadow, looked up toward the River God. The flames in those eyes couldn’t be extinguished even by the river water.