IDIBC Chapter 82

I Love You, My Son

“Your mother is a strong person. Nevertheless, I ask this of you. If I truly depart first, please look after your mother, who will grieve my loss.”

It was the back of a son he had despaired over daily, repeating wishes and prayers, thinking he might never be able to hold him in his arms while alive.

“I could not manifest the power of our family. As such, I had no power to protect you from the Emperor. This was a father’s incompetence, and for a father who thought he might not be able to protect his child, it was a pain worse than death.”

The Duke received comfort in the embrace of his grown son, whose body trembled like a small child.

“I too was afraid every day. Afraid that my death, ordained by God, might somehow be in vain. Afraid that, consumed by fear, I would eventually crumble into an ugly wreck.”

“……”

“But it wasn’t so. Now I have not even a trace of fear. In this world, there are fathers who throw themselves into rivers to save drowning sons, and many fathers who would stake everything they have to protect their families.”

Ricardo could say nothing, only calling out for his father with all his heart. He, who had never cried even when leaving Dermeier as a child, clung to his father like a small child, letting go of everything.

“The proud name of father, which I thought might only be granted to them, will now be granted to me as well.”

Duke Rochester pulled his son into an even tighter embrace.

“Tonight, for the first time, I will sleep without nightmares.”

“Father……”

“I love you, my son. More than my own life.”

“……”

“If it is your fate to step upon me and rise, I will gladly offer my back a thousand times, ten thousand times. So go forward without fear.”

Seven years after their reunion, this was their true reconciliation as father and son.

****

Ricardo had been staying home instead of going to the palace for three days now. Our daily life was peaceful. Since dinner a week ago, we had eaten dinner together with the Duke and Duchess every day, but the notorious villain of the dining room no longer appeared.

The Duchess’s face also looked much more at ease. At the dinner table the very next day, things were so awkward I didn’t even know where the food was going, but as each day passed, everything became more natural.

Warm conversations were exchanged, and occasionally laughter burst forth. When Ricardo first called the Duchess “mother,” even I was so moved that I held my breath for a moment.

The Duchess smiled with a face that wanted to cry. That sight was so beautiful that I stared in a daze for quite a while.

On that day when he first called her mother, after dinner ended, Ricardo carefully stood before her. When he hesitated, the Duchess was the first to embrace him. The image of her stroking his broad back and repeatedly saying she was sorry was so unforgettable that I couldn’t easily fall asleep that night.

Ricardo lay with his eyes closed, his head on my lap on the long sofa. Judging by how frequently imperial messengers came and went, it didn’t seem there was nothing happening at the palace, but he stubbornly stayed by my side.

In the meantime, I received a message from Walter saying he wanted to meet, but I declined his request.

I didn’t specifically tell Ricardo about it, but I knew it wasn’t something that could be hidden just because I wanted to hide it.

Though it was full summer, the sunlight wasn’t as scorching as in Resotia. As the heavy sunlight fell across his face, I created shade with the book I was holding.

Ricardo smiled faintly.

“You weren’t sleeping?”

“How could I fall asleep with my head on your lap?”

My eyes melted at his playful smile, my heart melted at his warm voice.

“What do you want to do today?”

“Mm, I’d like to see the autumn district.”

“You went there during the engagement ceremony.”

“I was so out of it then that all I remember is a huge gate.”

Ricardo laughed softly, then pulled my waist closer and nestled in more.

After Ricardo handled imperial affairs before lunch, we spent all our time together afterward.

We explored all the places Angela had recommended—romantic but not aristocratic locations.

These days, instead of going out, we took walks within the Duke’s estate or I learned how to ride horses. After dinner, we also practiced dances to new songs. The most recent one we learned was a dance with a slightly faster tempo, and I easily got out of breath after just a few practices.

I cautiously wondered if there would ever come a day when I could dance with him at an official occasion, but I couldn’t quite picture it.

Just then, I sensed a slight presence outside the door, followed by a knock. At this hour, the only person who would seek Ricardo’s study was Freddy.

But something seemed a bit strange.

The habit of knocking twice briefly was the same as usual. But the presence pacing outside the door was oddly different. It was hard to explain. Is this what they call a woman’s intuition?

“Young master, it’s me.”

My heart sank at the somehow anxious-sounding voice.

“Later.”

Had Ricardo also sensed something was different? Whereas he normally wouldn’t have turned Freddy away, he refused the visit with an irritated voice.

“It’s rather urgent……”

There was no answer for a moment, but he didn’t back down either. Ricardo, frowning slightly, straightened his clothes and sat up.

“Come in.”

Freddy, who entered, was definitely different from usual. Looking back and forth between Ricardo and me, he hesitated without saying anything. Noticing that he had something to tell Ricardo in private, I stood up.

“Ah, now that I think about it, I forgot I had something to do.”

As I tried to leave with an appropriate excuse, Ricardo caught my wrist.

“Just stay seated.”

At his firm attitude, an embarrassed look deepened on Freddy’s face, but he soon seemed to steel himself, swallowed hard, and delivered what he had to say.

“A report has come in that a woman has arrived at the main gate.”

“So are you going to let that woman inside? What is this, an inn? Why are you reporting this to me?”

My neck instinctively shrank at Ricardo’s sharp voice, which I hadn’t heard in a long time.

“The woman is burning with fever, so we can’t just leave her be.”

“Have her brought to the nearest annex from the main gate for treatment, and once her fever subsides, send her away. If her identity isn’t clearly confirmed, post proper guards.”

An appropriate order was given, but Freddy couldn’t move from his spot.

“The thing is……”

Trailing off for a moment, he took two steps closer.

“Her appearance is unusual…… and she was carrying an emblem of the Grand Temple.”

The color drained from Ricardo’s face all at once.

“Ah……”

An involuntary cry escaped me. Only after seeing Ricardo unable to say anything did I fully realize who this woman with the unusual appearance was.

The saintess of Rochester, the woman who would become Empress of Dermeier, had appeared alone at the Duke’s estate even before the oracle had been delivered.

****

That day, Ricardo went straight to the palace.

After staring at my face for a while, he left a word that he would return and hurriedly left the room.

After he left, I paced for a moment, then returned directly to my room.

The human heart is so treacherous—a place that had felt as comfortable as my own home just moments ago now felt like someone else’s nest, making it difficult to stay.

That day, the Duke’s estate was quiet all day long, but also busy in various ways.

The fact that the saintess had appeared spread throughout the Duke’s estate in an instant.

I occasionally heard the maids’ chatter as well.

Angela appeared with a face more upset than if she herself had suffered a misfortune, bringing me news from outside.

She said that the people in the estate, who had been anxiously trembling wondering if God had been angered and refused to send a saintess, were now greatly relieved.

I just stood by the window, silently looking down at the garden that had taken on yet another color from a few days ago.

‘What am I supposed to do now?’

I thought I had made quite a lot of preparations for when the saintess appeared, but now that it had actually happened, I was only bewildered.

It must be because nothing has been decided.

I understood the reason, but that didn’t mean I could do anything about it.

Standing against the window, I watched the sunset and then the moon rise in that same sky. Even then I couldn’t get my bearings, and that night, Ricardo ultimately did not return to the estate.

****

The day after the saintess appeared, the Grand Priest of Hadeima burst directly into the Duke’s estate.

When the Grand Priest appeared, imperial carriages lined up to enter the Duke’s estate. Rumors quickly spread throughout the estate that Ricardo’s real engagement ceremony would soon be held.

Everything happened too quickly.

After that day, it became difficult to meet Ricardo. He finally returned home at dawn two days later. I had dozed off slightly and knew he had entered my room and was staring silently at me as I slept, but I couldn’t open my eyes to face him.

What should I say, and how?

I didn’t want to be a burden to him, but the next morning I realized that I hadn’t been able to open my eyes because I was afraid an order to pack my bags might fall at any moment.

I left Hyacinth estate right away and went straight to the winter mansion where my family was staying.

I tried to return in the evening, but I heard news that the saintess had also come to the spring district.

In the end, that night I did not return to Hyacinth estate.