SEHE Chapter 120

Bandits

While the court and the realm were in turmoil—some anxious, others elated—over Tangxi Zhui’s imprisonment, Pei Yanci suddenly received an imperial decree.

The cause was that the Emperor had issued an edict to be copied and sent to all the feudal princes of Great Yu. Recently, while the court was trying the Elu Bureau and its accomplices, they had also confiscated the property of many officials who had been bought by the feudal princes. Using this opportunity to make an example of them, the Emperor warned those people not to harbor any designs—he and the Elu Bureau knew everything about them.

Normally, when the Great Yu Emperor issued edicts to the feudal princes, they would be handled by the Chief Commissioner of the Upper Capital Princely Liaison Office, the highest-ranking official of the metropolitan offices stationed in Anjing. They would dispatch their own people to deliver the edicts to their respective fiefdoms, and the princes would respond accordingly based on the content.

This back-and-forth would take at least ten days to half a month at the fastest, and two to three months for distant regions.

This time, in less than seven days, the Great Yu Emperor received a reply from Gu Xinghuai, the Grand Governor of Langhuan Circuit. In his memorial, he spoke with earnest words, expressing his absolute support and devotion to the Emperor and Crown Prince’s bloodline. He claimed to have not a trace of rebellious intent, and that his loyal heart could be witnessed by heaven and earth—he all but cut himself open to display his sincerity.

A certain sage once said: When judging a person, don’t look at what they say, but what they do.

No matter how many oaths one swears or how loyal one claims to be, it’s all empty talk. To learn of the Emperor’s movements in distant Anjing in less than seven days and even send back a reply—this was a provocation!

This was blatantly telling the Emperor that he had eyes and ears in Anjing, and they were among the Emperor’s trusted confidants. By the time the edict was issued, he had already received the news. By the time the edict reached the Governor’s mansion through the metropolitan offices established by the fiefdom, his reply had also reached the Emperor’s hands—this was to test Anjing’s strength and weakness.

If the central court pretended not to notice the timing issue and only looked at the content, then they could be certain that the court had now reached a point of being strong on the outside but weak on the inside, unable to do anything to them. This would be the perfect time to raise troops in rebellion.

If the Emperor held him accountable—planting informants to spy on and steal court secrets was a capital offense—it would force the military region into rebellion with no choice.

In this uprising, the original peasant leader had been deceived by the southwestern military region’s nobility into handing over power. The Prince of Qi, who was also from Langhuan Circuit, became the new leader. What had been a group of barefoot farmers ignored by the court had now become a regular army.

Only then did the Emperor begin to take this uprising seriously, but by that time the rebel army had already captured ten provinces and was pointing their swords at Anjing.

If the Emperor focused on the timing issue and used it as a pretext to deal with Gu Xinghuai, then he would have to bear the risk of Gu Xinghuai joining the rebel army, bringing his twelve provinces along to revolt.

The Prince of Qi was born into the Li clan of Zhao Commandery, named Li Shoucheng. Like Prince Zheng Cui Yuexue, he belonged to the aristocratic elite. And Gu Xinghuai was authentic Gu imperial family.

If he joined the uprising army, the nature of things would be completely different.

A rebel army of twenty-two provinces—even if they didn’t attack Anjing and kill the direct Gu imperial line—would be enough to throw Great Yu into complete chaos. Don’t forget that in the north, Great Xi was watching like a tiger eyeing its prey. If attacked from north and south, Great Yu might even become a chapter in the history books.

The situation had reached a critical point.

The Emperor hadn’t expected that what he originally intended as using the blood of a few bought capital officials to intimidate the princes and make them wise up and not rebel alongside Li Shoucheng had now left him caught between a rock and a hard place—unable to respond either way.

He pondered this matter for several days, and finally summoned Pei Yanci into the palace and secretly assigned him a task.

“Go to the southwest?” Tangxi Zhui was slightly stunned. “Who else is going?”

“Together with Wushu and Wuli—a fat man and a child won’t attract attention.” Pei Yanci opened trunks and wardrobes, speaking while pulling out the clothes inside. “His Majesty’s main purpose this time is to send me to sow discord between the Prince of Qi and Gu Xinghuai. We can’t expose our identities before entering Langhuan Circuit, or if we’re pursued we’ll surely die.”

“With so many people in the court, why did he think to send you?” Tangxi Zhui asked, puzzled.

“As a fourth-rank official, I’m caught up in factional strife. The Imperial Academy is independent of the Three Departments and Six Ministries. With Master Fang watching over the printing house, it’s gradually getting on track. I have few responsibilities and can leave for a while.” Pei Yanci smiled. “It’s also possible that I was too eye-catching during the court debate. His Majesty said I have a glib tongue and am promising material—when I return he’ll promote me.”

“Such an official-seeker.” Tangxi Zhui was speechless—at the mention of promotion, he couldn’t walk away. “Looks like I can only go with you.”

“Of course. Without me, how would you continue staying in this mansion? Once we leave Anjing, we can stretch our muscles. Staying home every day, aren’t you afraid of developing problems?”

“At least since being thrown in prison, there’s finally some good news.” Tangxi Zhui simply pulled him aside and refolded the tangled mess of clothes himself, placing them in the wicker trunk.

His Majesty had found an excuse for him to leave the capital—to inspect famous private academies in the southwestern region of Great Yu, requiring him to be away for one or two months.

Tangxi Zhui’s case required a joint trial by the Three Judicial Offices. Several days had passed without any movement. One reason was that the various factions were arguing over the distribution of benefits without reaching a conclusion. Another reason was the chaos within the Elu Bureau.

Previously, with Tangxi Zhui’s intimidating presence, the Elu Bureau had been the sharpest blade of the Great Yu dynasty. Now without him, all sorts of demons and monsters were emerging from the entire Elu Bureau, and the Emperor was reconsidering whether to turn a blind eye to this matter.

Of course, the key issue was the southwestern uprising army.

Pei Yanci analyzed that if the uprising army continued to grow, stirring up the people’s dissatisfaction with the Emperor’s poor governance, then Tangxi Zhui’s years of autocratic abuse of power would be a very good scapegoat. If the uprising army was exterminated by Jiang Yi, Tangxi Zhui might still be released.

After all, it wouldn’t be easy to cultivate another useful and obedient dog slave as thoroughly evil as him.

So after observing the court situation for several days, Pei Yanci felt reassured.

As the sun rose, Wuli drove the carriage, going against the flow of people heading into town for the market, embarking on their journey south.

Sitting in the carriage was boring, so Pei Yanci, like a magician, produced a backgammon board.

“You, child, watch from the side. No helping and no talking.”

“Then what can I do?” Wushu was dissatisfied.

Tangxi Zhui took out a skeleton puppet. Ever since watching the play staged at Pei Yanci’s theater, he had taken apart the small skeleton and tied thin sheep gut strings to it, turning it into a puppet skeleton.

He patted the skeleton’s head, his eyes gentle. “Go play.”

Wushu looked curiously at the puppet that was much smaller than himself. Like a two or three-year-old child, he felt apprehensive inside but still carefully accepted it. “Thank you, Brother Tangxi.”

“So improper—is ‘brother’ something you can call him?” Pei Yanci was displeased. “Call him sister-in-law.”

Wushu looked at Tangxi Zhui dressed in women’s clothing, and like he’d done something wrong, said “Oh” and immediately sweetly called out “Thank you, Sister-in-law,” before crawling out of the carriage to chat with Wuli.

“What’s that? Where did it come from?” Pei Yanci was surprised—how could his carriage’s hidden compartment have such a creepy thing?

Tangxi Zhui placed his index finger against his lips, smiling. “Secret.”

Pei Yanci pursed his lips and stopped asking, beginning to set up the chess pieces. “You’re always stuffing random things in my things. In the end, don’t you have to find them yourself? If you forget one day, it’ll be hidden there forever.”

As he spoke, he suddenly laughed. “You’re like a squirrel, hoarding things everywhere.”

Tangxi Zhui gave him a glance. “What squirrel? This is called ‘a cunning rabbit has three burrows.'”

“A person about to be executed shouldn’t call themselves a cunning rabbit.”

While bantering with him, Pei Yanci played backgammon. Both sides went back and forth, but after a few rounds it wasn’t satisfying enough, so they brought out the Go board.

They traveled with stops along the way, progressing fairly quickly. In the blink of an eye, five or six days had passed. Their dried provisions were running low, and the weather was getting increasingly cold—no longer suitable for camping outdoors at night.

So they decided to take advantage of the early hour to go to an inn in a nearby town, planning to stay overnight temporarily and buy some snacks and trinkets to pass the time on the road.

Pei Yanci couldn’t sit still. As soon as they settled in, he wanted to walk around town. Tangxi Zhui, to be safe, hadn’t changed out of his women’s clothing for the past few days since leaving the city. With a sour face, he reluctantly accompanied him out.

The small town wasn’t large and had nothing interesting. There weren’t many people on the streets, making it feel lifeless. After walking around in a circle, he found it quite boring and decided to return to the inn.

Just as they reached the entrance, a piercing sound of suona horns rang out through the town.

“What’s happening?”

“Oh no, the mountain bandits are here to rob again!” the innkeeper shouted. “Quick, help me barricade the door.”

“Mountain bandits?” In both his lives, Pei Yanci had never left the capital, so naturally he’d never seen such people.

The people in the inn quickly blocked the doors and windows with wooden boards. Pei Yanci returned to his room to find that Wuli and Wushu hadn’t come back yet.

Just as he was getting anxious, he looked toward the commotion outside the window. One large and one small figure were rushing toward the inn. The street was completely empty except for the two of them.

The last ray of twilight vanished along the hazy mountain line. The small mountain town was soon shrouded in a layer of dark fog.

Pei Yanci ran downstairs and tossed the innkeeper a silver ingot. “Open a crack in the door and let my friends in.”

“I can’t.” The innkeeper threw the silver back to him. “It’s not that I’m refusing to save them, but the mountain bandits are about to arrive. They’re savage—as long as we give them an opportunity to get in, not just your friends, but everyone in the entire inn including you will lose their lives.”

“Your local officials are too incompetent.” Pei Yanci said. They had traveled for several days from early morning to late night and had only just left the capital region. They were still more than ten days’ journey from Langhuan Circuit. Not far from Anjing, yet bandits could be this arrogant.

“What good can officials be?” the innkeeper said. “If I didn’t have this broken inn, I’d become a bandit too, to avoid suffering this nonsense.”

Pei Yanci had no patience to listen to his rambling. He quickly went upstairs. The sounds outside were clearly audible.

Howling, strange cries had already erupted at the town entrance, drawing closer and closer.

“Big Brother, what do we do? Are they not letting us in!” Wuli was frantically turning in circles, then saw Tangxi Zhui jump down.

“Ni-ni-nine-nine-nine…”

Tangxi Zhui didn’t bother wasting words with him. Before the frightened Wushu could react, he scooped up the person in one motion. His toes lightly tapped a few times, bringing him up to the window.

Pei Yanci hugged and pulled him into the room. Before he could feel relieved, a fire arrow shot in through the open window, grazing past Tangxi Zhui’s eye corner.

With one hand gripping the lower window frame, he hurriedly pulled Pei Yanci at the window’s edge into his shadow, narrowly avoiding it.

Countless chaotic hoofbeats rang out, galloping toward them like thunder from the horizon.

The firelight on the horizon was exceptionally bright and dazzling, burning a hole in the sky that was neither fully dark nor light.

Wailing and screaming came from far and near. The bandits’ excited shouts spread through every street and alley, making one’s blood run cold.

Tangxi Zhui looked disdainfully at the ball-shaped Wuli and kicked upward with his foot.

Wuli cried out, his whole body flying up.

Then he got stuck in the window.

Pei Yanci and Wushu each grabbed an arm, pulling him inward with all their might.

“I always told you to eat less, you stinking fat pig.” Wushu used every ounce of his strength.

“Breathe in, suck in your stomach!” Pei Yanci said through gritted teeth.

“I’m already sucking it in!” Wuli wailed. His bottom hurt, and he screamed, rolling into the inn room.

They say Nine-Thousand-Years is the most vicious—his bottom was going to rot!

Eunuchs—not a single good one among them.

Wuli was rubbing his bottom when he suddenly heard Pei Yanci’s heart-wrenching scream.

Turning to look, Tangxi Zhui, who had just climbed back to the window, had dozens of eagle-claw iron hooks attached to his shoulders, neck, and arms, forcibly tearing and dragging him down from the window.

Bandits sat on horses, blocking the entire street completely.

Pei Yanci rushed to the window. Before he could get a clear look at the scene below, several fire arrows shot toward him.

Wushu narrowly tackled him to the ground.

When he looked again carefully, Tangxi Zhui had disappeared. All that remained was a pool of blood in front of the inn entrance and the countless bandits’ cheering.