TBWE Chapter 18

Embrace

 

Chu Li once lived in a very happy and fulfilling family.

 

Her father was open-minded and cheerful, a self-made first-generation wealthy man whose greatest hobby was cooking for his wife and daughter.

 

Her mother managed the household and company finances, and also had a workshop that sold elegant handicrafts. The most popular items were various mysterious and beautiful masks.

 

The only regret was that her twin sister Chu You suffered from congenital heart disease and would very likely not live to adulthood.

 

But this didn’t prevent them from being intimate and close, arguing and playing together.

 

Chu Li first experienced separation by death at the age of fifteen, in the spring.

 

Her twin sister passed away after a spring rain. Before dying, she held Chu Li’s hand, her lips turning purple, her almond-shaped eyes curved in a smile.

 

“Li Li, don’t be sad. I’m just free now. Please see more of the world’s scenery for me in the future. Be happy, be healthy, be brave.”

 

Even though they had been prepared, Chu You’s departure still left their parents heartbroken with grief.

 

On the night after the funeral, they held Chu Li and wept bitterly, looking at her with a complex gaze she couldn’t understand, stroking her face over and over again, then holding her tightly in their arms.

 

Her mother said, “It’s okay, it’s okay… No matter what, Mom and Dad will keep you healthy and safe.”

 

At that time, Chu Li naively embraced her parents and vowed that she would work even harder, taking on her sister’s burden as well, and would never cause trouble again.

 

Hearing her say this, her father’s tears rolled down as he cupped her face and repeated, “Only you are left, Li Li, we only have you left. Mom and Dad ask for nothing else, just that you be safe.”

 

Winter went and spring came, cold came and summer went.

 

Her sister’s death became like a damp rain in Chu Li’s heart—not fierce, but continuous and unending. She fulfilled Chu You’s dying wish well—to see more of this world’s scenery in her place.

 

She would develop the landscape photos she took during outings and store them in Chu You’s room bookshelf along with her weekly diary entries.

 

Her parents never really recovered from their eldest daughter’s death. Although they seemed normal during the day, talking and laughing, they would silently stare for a long time whenever they passed by Chu You’s room or things she had used.

 

Therefore, Chu Li rarely spoke to them about troubling matters, not wanting to add to their worries.

 

During the summer vacation after high school graduation, the family finally regained some long-lost ease and joy. Her parents carefully researched materials and did homework to help her choose a major.

 

They also proposed a family trip of three.

 

Since her sister’s death, family trips had been canceled, and Chu Li always went with friends.

 

She was very much looking forward to this trip.

 

But heaven didn’t grant her wish. On the eve of departure, her father prepared a table full of delicious food, and only after Chu Li finished eating with great excitement did he hesitantly tell her that the trip had to be postponed.

 

An important project at a subsidiary in another city had problems, and he and her mother had to go handle it together.

 

Her mother stroked her cheek, her tone gentle but brooking no refusal, “Xiao Bao, Mom has a friend. The scenery there is beautiful, suitable for vacation. You go stay there for a while, and once we solve the problem, Dad and Mom will come pick you up.”

 

Chu Li felt vaguely uneasy and suggested going on the business trip together, but was firmly refused by her parents.

 

Her luggage was packed that very day. Her parents gave her many detailed instructions, saying most frequently:

 

“Be good, be sure to wear the copper coin properly and don’t lose it, understand?”

 

Her mother gently arranged her hair, her gaze infinitely tender.

 

“Safe and sound, healthy and well.”

 

After saying this, she gently pushed Chu Li, watching her leave the house and get in the car.

 

The journey was very long, with several transfers along the way.

 

Her mother’s friend lived in a Jiangnan water town, in a three-courtyard house on a green mountain, with blue stone and black tiles. The scenery was indeed beautiful, but it was isolated from the world with almost no signal.

 

The person who received Chu Li was a slender woman whose exact age was hard to determine. She had calm features, wooden beads wrapped around her wrist, and wore a faint smile on her face, appearing very easygoing.

 

She called herself Ming Pu, so Chu Li called her “Aunt Pu.”

 

There was also a girl of her age in the courtyard named Ming Chun, who was Ming Pu’s disciple. She had a lively and cunning personality. When there was no signal, she would take Chu Li running all over the mountains and fields, catching fireflies, picking wild fruits, soaking their feet in mountain streams…

 

At first, Chu Li was still very anxious and would spend all day looking for places with signal to call home. But she could only say a few words before the connection became intermittent, and it would take a long time to finish discussing even one matter.

 

Later, the two played so wildly and the phone calls were so difficult to make that she went a long time without calling home.

 

It wasn’t until she belatedly realized that a month had already passed but her parents still hadn’t come to pick her up that she sensed something was wrong.

 

Her parents’ phones couldn’t be reached.

 

She repeatedly dialed hundreds of times, but they were all turned off.

 

Chu Li held the phone that kept making “beep beep” sounds and stood for a very long time, until the moon emerged from the mountaintop. Then she suddenly rushed back to her room and began frantically packing, tears streaming down as she packed.

 

When she dragged her heavy suitcase to the courtyard gate, Ming Pu and Ming Chun stood at the entrance.

 

Ming Pu: “Xiao Li, your parents died in an accident three days ago and have entrusted you to me. You carry a karmic burden. If you don’t leave here, I can find a way to shield you from it and you can live out your remaining years peacefully.”

 

“If you insist on leaving, you can only face this karma yourself. I won’t stop you, but you must choose carefully.”

 

Ming Chun ran forward and grasped Chu Li’s hand, almost pleading, “Xiao Li, please stay. My master’s words are never wrong. Don’t go.”

 

Chu Li could no longer remember what kind of feelings she had harbored as she silently dragged her suitcase across the threshold.

 

She tripped and fell to the ground, got up with bloody hands, and in her daze remembered she hadn’t said thank you.

 

So she turned back and said dully, “Thank you, Aunt Pu, for taking care of me. I need to go home now. Xiao Chun, goodbye.”

 

Ming Pu held back Ming Chun, who wanted to follow her out, and didn’t stop Chu Li.

 

Her sigh was like the night wind. “What’s meant to come cannot be avoided. We’ll meet again, don’t worry.”

 

In the summer vacation after senior year, at age eighteen, Chu Li became an orphan.

 

****

 

A palm moved along her long hair, stroking her back over and over again.

 

Pulling Chu Li out of painful, lengthy memories.

 

This gesture was too familiar—it was something her mother often did when comforting her.

 

As soon as the silent tears stopped rolling, more and hotter tears immediately began pouring out.

 

Her emotions were like a bag with holes; her suppressed sobbing gradually turned into a complete breakdown.

 

She choked and gasped, clutching Xi Chu’s lapels like a drowning person, her fingers leaving many wrinkles on the suit fabric.

 

At this moment she couldn’t see anything. She buried her head in the cold chest, briefly escaping reality to gain a little breathing space.

 

Then she sadly discovered that in this moment, she had actually developed something close to dependence.

 

A caged bird trying to escape the cage gets hurt and begins to feel the cage is safe.

 

Chu Li cried for a long time, until she was hiccupping and nauseous, her consciousness drowsy.

 

Xi Chu didn’t say a single word from beginning to end, only changing from clumsily patting her back to skillfully caressing it.

 

After falling asleep from exhaustion, she dimly heard whispered words.

 

A pair of hands cupped her face, gently wiping away her tears.

 

“Li Li, I will never, never leave.”