TDFM Chapter 118

Nonsense 

The elderly woman who spoke bore a five-part resemblance to Madam Xiao. When she entered the courtyard, she turned around to close the door, then looked pleadingly at Yun Qing. “May I see her?”

Yun Qing nodded: “Yes.”

It turned out that this elderly woman was Madam Xiao’s biological elder sister.

Madam Xiao had one elder brother, one elder sister, and one younger brother. As the second daughter in the family, she was gentle and honest in temperament, very filial to her parents, and diligent with her hands and feet, though somewhat quiet and reserved.

Elder Sister Xiao looked at her younger sister’s soul, tears flowing down her face full of sighs, and she murmured:

“My younger sister Hui Niang had been well-behaved and followed the rules since childhood. The most outrageous thing she ever did was during the Lantern Festival when she was sixteen years old. While watching the lanterns, she threw her embroidered pouch to a handsome young gentleman.

This young man was from a noble family, and they were not of matching social status, so naturally there was no destiny between them.

In fact, Hui Niang only had two encounters with him. The first was during that year’s Lantern Festival, on the bridge over Liucui River, beneath a phoenix-seeking-phoenix flower lantern. That evening I accompanied her to watch the lanterns, and I witnessed with my own eyes how her face became redder than the red lanterns.”

Everyone pressed for more. “What about the second encounter?”

The second encounter was on the day she married, two years later.

That young gentleman from years past had surprisingly achieved the rank of Third Place Scholar, wearing red flowers on his chest as he paraded through the streets on horseback. Hui Niang sat in her bridal sedan chair, and when the sedan chair brushed past his galloping white horse, Hui Niang lifted the sedan curtain and looked up at him once.

The young man, flushed with success in spring, was close at hand yet far as the horizon.

Most of our lives are mundane, like coarse gravel or the most inconspicuous gray cloth in a fabric shop.

Yet there are always one or two people who leave brilliant colors in our gray and dull lives, firmly occupying the brightest place in our existence. Perhaps wherever they are, that place becomes bright.

“I believe my younger sister must have been thinking of that young gentleman, which is why she was reluctant to leave.”

Upon hearing that his wife had been constantly thinking of another man, Scholar Fu’s old face couldn’t maintain its composure for a moment.

Yun Qing asked, “In which year did you marry?”

Scholar Fu answered, “It was in the fourteenth year of Qiyuan.”

“Who was the Third Place Scholar in the fourteenth year of Qiyuan?”

“This… I can’t remember at the moment, but the records of all imperial examinations are kept in the Ministry of Rites. We can find out with a simple inquiry.”

Yun Qing nodded. “Very well, let us make a trip to the Ministry of Rites.”

At this moment, Cheng Suiyan suddenly said, “There’s no need to go.”

Yun Qing looked at him and noticed his strange expression.

“Suiyan, do you know who the Third Place Scholar was that year?”

“Of course I know. It was my father.”

****

When Yun Qing’s group brought Princess Anping before Prime Minister Cheng and explained their purpose, Prime Minister Cheng used sixty years of accumulated cultivation to refrain from cursing aloud.

What kind of matter was this!

His son liked to discuss metaphysics and mysticism – he tolerated it for the time being. Everyone had hobbies, and it was better than eating, drinking, whoring, and gambling, wasn’t it?

His son befriended Daoist friends – naturally he tolerated that too. He still trusted his son’s judgment; surely he wouldn’t associate with any lowly scoundrels. As a father, he didn’t want to extend his hand too far and interfere with his son’s friendships.

But!

Now this group of friends had come to tell him that a female ghost had been thinking of him obsessively for over forty years and had now possessed Princess Anping’s body, wanting to see him once.

Even nonsense should have limits!

Prime Minister Cheng finally realized that his good son was only eloquent in front of him; when facing outsiders, he was foolish enough to be completely deceived by this group of fair-weather friends.

If these fair-weather friends were only swindling him out of some money, that would still be manageable, but he feared they would continue this nonsense and ruin his rebellious son’s future prospects.

The Ministry of Justice’s investigation into Helan Qing’s death still had no leads, and now they had deceived Princess Anping. If they dared to deceive the princess today, they would dare to deceive His Majesty tomorrow!

Prime Minister Cheng rapidly stroked his beard, thinking that this couldn’t continue. Regardless of what method he used, he must drive these charlatans away from his rebellious son.

If he truly couldn’t drive them away, then he would have to make them disappear from this world.

Prime Minister Cheng breathed deeply several times, calming the anger in his heart, smiled slightly and said, “If there truly is some female ghost, let her come find me herself. Don’t trouble Your Highness the Princess with this grand journey. Please return, everyone. Someone, see the guests out!”

Yun Qing said, “Prime Minister, forgive the offense.”

Prime Minister Cheng didn’t know what she meant by offense. He looked at Yun Qing with bewilderment, darkened his face and said to Cheng Suiyan, “Rebellious son, come with me.”

After speaking, he casually glanced at Princess Anping, “Ah!!” His complexion instantly changed dramatically, and he stumbled backward in fright.

Cheng Suiyan quickly supported his father.

At this moment, in Prime Minister Cheng’s eyes, there was clearly an old woman clinging to Princess Anping’s back. The old woman wore burial clothes, her body semi-transparent, her face full of wrinkles, smiling at him with dark, hollow mouth that looked eerie no matter how one viewed it.

Prime Minister Cheng was so startled that cold sweat beaded on his forehead. With trembling fingers pointing at Madam Xiao, he said, “What, what kind of sorcery is this!”

Cheng Suiyan said, “Father, you see it now, don’t you? We weren’t deceiving anyone. Just talk with this old grandma. She’s been thinking of you for over forty years!”

“Nonsense!”

“You won’t speak? Then I’ll go find Mother and have her persuade you.”

“Rebellious son!”

Princess Anping walked before Prime Minister Cheng and pleaded, “Uncle Prime Minister, please help me and make her go away!”

Prime Minister Cheng’s emotions calmed slightly. He pushed away his son, steadied his footing, and carefully examined Madam Xiao. He didn’t recognize this person, but having reached this point, he had no choice but to believe that such a person truly existed in the world.

After a long while, he sighed and performed a deep bow to Madam Xiao, saying: “Madam, I am Cheng Yunxiao. I am truly ashamed that Madam has held me in error for so many years.”

Madam Xiao remained unmoved.

Cheng Suiyan said, “Father, her hearing isn’t good. Speak louder.”

Prime Minister Cheng glared at his son and raised his voice. “Madam, I am Third Place Scholar Cheng Yunxiao. It has been over forty-four years since we parted on the long street. Are you well now?”

Madam Xiao leaned forward slightly, catching the three most important words. “Third Place Scholar?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

Madam Xiao stared at Prime Minister Cheng’s face for a while, then smiled. “Third Place Scholar, you’ve also grown old?”

She appeared very calm. Yun Qing was first surprised, then couldn’t help but laugh ruefully. They had been too presumptuous; life didn’t have so many romantic entanglements.

As time passed, many emotions that were once intense would become mundane, just like ocean waves – when first formed, they were turbulent with high winds and surging waves, but traveling far, they gradually became calm and peaceful.

Upon hearing these words, Prime Minister Cheng smiled, and his previously tense nerves relaxed somewhat. He said, “Indeed, who in this world doesn’t grow old?”

“Third Place Scholar, are you living well now? Are your children all obedient?”

“My rebellious son isn’t very accomplished and constantly angers me.”

“As long as they’re obedient, as long as they’re obedient. My two sons aren’t very obedient, but fortunately my daughter is considerate.”

“Madam, I truly envy you for having both sons and daughters.” When Prime Minister Cheng said this, his true feelings showed, and he became somewhat choked up.

“Yuanyuan, my granddaughter’s pet name is Yuanyuan. How did you know that?”

“You already have a granddaughter. In your leisure time, bring your granddaughter to visit our home. My humble wife loves little girls most.”

“Duck head, my little grandson loves eating duck head, especially the little bit of brain inside the duck head. I don’t like eating it – duck head, duck breast, duck legs, I don’t eat any of them. Sometimes I’ll gnaw on duck feet.”

“You have both sons and daughters, plus grandsons and granddaughters. What could you possibly be unable to accept about this lifetime?”

…

The two chatted like old friends about various household matters, and Prime Minister Cheng became increasingly sad as they talked.

Madam Xiao couldn’t hear clearly most of what he said, but he could hear everything she said clearly. Yet she particularly loved talking about her children.

Having few descendants was Prime Minister Cheng’s greatest regret in life, and now she was bringing up exactly what shouldn’t be mentioned, repeatedly at that.

When Prime Minister Cheng’s tears had been talked out, Madam Xiao was finally satisfied. She waved at Prime Minister Cheng with a smile: “It’s getting late, I should go now.”

Everyone looked at her expectantly.

Then her body slid downward and settled steadily back onto Princess Anping’s back.

All five people simultaneously put their hands to their foreheads.

Prime Minister Cheng immediately sensed something was wrong. “What does this mean?”

Cheng Suiyan answered. “It means you’re not her obsession.”

Prime Minister Cheng felt quite displeased. These people had stirred up his painful memories, and now they were telling him it was useless – weren’t they just toying with him?

****

Five people lined up against the wall root.

Winter sunlight streamed down over red walls and green tiles, with dappled shadows from branches. The young people’s features were picturesque – it should have been a pleasing scene, but unfortunately, each wore a thoughtful expression with somewhat vacant gazes.

Princess Anping stood before them with hands on her hips.

She also wanted to lean against the wall like Brother Suiyan, but was afraid of pressing against the female ghost and making her unhappy, so she could only stand there indignantly and complain:

“You promised to save me, and this is it? I’m going back to tell Father Emperor to have you all arrested!”

Cheng Suiyan didn’t even lift his eyelids and said, “Hurry up and go. From now on you can spend your whole life with the female ghost. Your blankets will be full of female ghosts when you sleep – how wonderful, not lonely at all. And cool in summer too.”

“I, I’ll go find the Imperial Preceptor!”

“Go ahead, the Imperial Preceptor can definitely save you. Hurry up and go.”

“Why do you defend her so much,” Princess Anping pointed at Yun Qing, “have you fallen in love with her?”

Cheng Suiyan, already exhausted by her persistence, nodded: “Yes, we all love her. We are a loving family.”

“What do you mean, ‘all’? Those two as well?” she said, pointing at Jiang Baiyu and Ci Li.

“As you can see.”

Princess Anping looked shocked and pointed at Fu Xue. “What about her? Her too?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t she a woman?”

“She was originally a man, but took medicine to transform yang to yin to become a woman. Isn’t this about wanting to try some new tricks?”

Fu Xue’s vision darkened, thinking she had never before noticed how good this young master was at fabricating stories.

Princess Anping looked as if struck by lightning, stared at Yun Qing for a long time, then suddenly said eerily, “It’s fine if you can’t solve the Madam Xiao problem, but you must agree to one condition of mine.”

Yun Qing asked curiously: “What condition?”

“You must teach me the art of controlling men.”

Yun Qing suppressed her impatience and spoke of serious matters. “I’ve always felt that Madam Xiao is a lost ghost, and her obsession is with you, which is why she keeps following you.”

Princess Anping glared: “What nonsense are you talking? Didn’t you all investigate? I have not the slightest relationship with her – not even a remote connection!”

“Precisely because you have no connection, what you said and did when passing by the Fu family that day becomes all the more important.”

“So many days have passed, how would I know what I said or did then?”

Yun Qing looked toward Jiang Baiyu and asked, “Baiyu, is there a way to improve someone’s memory?”

Jiang Baiyu thought for a moment and answered, “The Spirit Awakening Incantation can do it, but it cannot be maintained long-term. After the effect wears off, the person might become foolish for a while.”

“Use it on her.”